Cheat Day Mayo

Hola Cheaters! This past Cheat Day was also Cinco De Mayo! Unrelated to the holiday I was very busy on Cheat Day so there wasn't a TON of cheating going on really... But don't stop reading! There was also a ton of crazy silly shit happening throughout the day as well!

I awoke late Cheat Day morning and weighed in at 2 pounds lighter than last week's weigh in! The was despite the fact that I drunkenly ordered a beer...and taco bell...the night before, at about 3AM after Liz's opening of the AWESOME show she is in: American Blues Theatre's Buddy: The Buddy Holly Story. I guess I ought to make one thing clear for my Cheat Day fans. Cheat Day begins when you wake up and after you weigh in Cheat Day MORNING, not at midnight the night before. It is not a calendar day, it is a celebration! So, Liz and I woke up too late this Cheat Day to away to a local breakfast place for a nice Cheat Breakfast, as we both had appointments we had to keep in the afternoon.

Snack Montage

My appointment was a small, VERY indie, film shoot for a web series I co-created called "A Bit Touched," A "Chooch Chat" creation! It was our first shoot of this run and it was a blast and a half! Aside from starring in the episode I was in charge of props and catering (perfect for Cheat Day!). After I got to the location I dropped the props off and offered to run to a 7-Eleven for some snacks for the cast and crew. I brought my boy Andrew along to help carry. I got a bag of barbecue chips, a bag of new Taco Bell Fire Doritos, Tostitos scoops (to go along with the can of queso previously purchased for props), a bag of James Harden sneaker gummies, a case of Coors Light, and a case of water (ALWAYS a necessity Cheat Day or not). I also did what I always do in a 7-Eleven on Cheat Day, got Taquitos. I specifically bought 4 of them (ALL FOR ME!), 2 jalapeño and cream cheese and 2 taco and cheese...ya know for the walk back to the film location! NOMNOMNOM

Corn Dogs

Without giving a lot away about the episode (coming your way soon) there were corn dogs on the set, and lots of them. My costar, Anthony Giamichael, is eating corn dogs basically throughout the whole thing. He ultimately ate about 8 or 9 whole corndogs over the course of about a 5 hour shoot and it was hysterical. He was in great pain, and all the rest of the cast and crew were just cracking up. There was a moment in the episode where I also eat corn dogs and I made out of there having eaten about 4 myself (DELICIOUS and less hysterical). Corn dogs would never be my go to Cheat Day treat but I must say, I enjoyed them while I was eating them. I'd be singing a different song if I had to eat nearly 10 of them, but I rarely eat corn dogs and they are a nice treat on occasion and a bit of a change of pace. An American Classic! Also on set I drank about 4 Coors Lights and had 2 glasses of delicious Irish Whiskey.

Margaritas

After the shoot we had to drop our filming gear off. When we did I popped open a Sierra Nevada and pounded it before we turned around and hit the bar Nick's on Wilson where our friend Nick was tending bar! He made us a toight Green Tea Shooter thing that was sugary and delicious. He also mixed me up 2 DELECATBLE margaritas for Cinco de Cheat Day. I drank 2 other beers (one of which came with a shot of Malort...ugh Chicago amirite?) while we played Big Buck Hunter at the back of the bar (I suck at it). Nick got off work and led us to another bar where his friend was bartending where I got two more beers and another shot of whiskey...another beer filled Cheat Day nothing WRONG with that.

Lindo Guadalajara Exterior

Horchata

Cheat Day was coming to a close and I had been thinking about Mexican food all day (obviously!). I had decided that I would be going to one of my favorite late night spots for food, Lindo Guadalajara. This will also be my local spot of the week to review. This Mexican spot is open 24 hours a GOT DANG DAY, so it gets points for that. I have been here many times and they are always on top of things so this particular experience doesn't exactly dictate my over all rating of the food or establishment. I ordered a Horchata once I sat down. If you haven't ever tried this delicious milky-cinnamon beverage I recommend you get one and soon, it is a treat. Lindo's Horchata is a little light, which I actually prefer. I also ordered a chicken burrito suizo meal and THREE chorizo tacos. That's right! I went for it! If you couldn't tell by the rest of the description most of the cheat day was spent drinking not eating so I had to fill this tummy! And what happens next WILL shock you!

Chorizo Tacos

The Lindo staff had FORGOTTEN my burrito suizo dinner and JUST delivered me my three tacos like I'm NOT a big fat dude at the end of a drunken night over here! I wolfed those three tacos down in a flash and then awkwardly watched my friends, who had joined me at Lindo, finish their food. I was naively hoping that perhaps the staff did not forget my burrito completely but were just taking their time with it and giving it extra special care. They were not. The waitress did however catch my forlorn gaze and eventually waddled over and asked, "Oh! did you still want that burrito suizo?!"

Burrito Suizo Dinner

What I should have said was "YES GOD DAMMIT IT AND I WANT IT NOW! DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS?! THAT'S RIGHT! CHEAT DAY! AND DO I LOOK LIKE I AM FULL TO THE POINT OF PAIN TO YOU?! NO I DON'T! SO GO BACK THERE AND TELL YOUR KITCHEN TO WHIP ONE UP FOR ME CHOP CHOP!" But what I said was, "Oh, yes please, and can you make it to go?"

They got me my burrito suizo even before my friends were completely finished with their meals. I did not crack it open to eat it their in the restaurant. I waited to eat it until I got home, like I ordered the burrito with a side of shame and I DID eat it while I watched episodes of "Last Man on Earth" from the comfort of my own home. This little mis-step aside Lindo Guadalajara gets a complete Point and Pump. They are doing the lards work being open 24-hours and serving up cheap but well flavored Mexican food!

Once the burrito was all gone I quickly passed out on the couch thus ending another epic Cheat Day! This week was a strange Cheat Day but TONS of fun none the less! I think it just goes to show that not every Cheat Day requires a plan. Sometimes you just have to go about your day and cheat where you can. It's about getting one (or four) for the walk, it's about eating some things you wouldn't normally consider, and of course it's about celebrating a holiday no matter how late it gets. Take care of yourselves! Take care of each other! And eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach Finch

Record Store (CHEAT) Day

Good Afternoon my cheating friends, family, and random other reader swho are here to get gluttonous! My weight is in a dead heat with my efforts! I remain at 259.9 lbs. A TUB! A FAT LARD AM I!!! A POX on this old age I suddenly find myself in. A man roaring toward middle age with the look of a man who is far beyond such! It is a fate I battle with every now and then as I am sure many of my readers do...(the AGE thing more than the WEIGHT thing) but whatever, we're all not 100% on SOMETHING about ourselves!

"SHUT UP YOU SAD SACK AND TELL US ALL THAT YOU ATE!"

Hey, HEY! FUCK YOU! But okay! It was a fine Cheat Day. A Cheat Day of bouncing around from bad local spot to bad local spot. Again I awoke ill equipped for Cheat Day in my apartment. All I had in the house that was cheat worthy was about a half a bag of pretzels. So I cracked those open and I started dipping them into the hummus in the house. A fine snack to start the day TBH. Shortly after that Liz and I took off to meet with the rest of the Lovelies for a pre-Record Store Day practice.

Upon arriving to fellow Lovelies', Al and Mike's, apartment we were met with omelets. "OMELETS?! That ain't no CHEAT FOOD Mawfker!" OKAY OKAY, take it easy! You're right. But there was some dank ass mawfuggin' ' chee ALL up in that omelet sooooo...THAT COUNTS! Also, let me describe the rest of this thing for you: jalapeño stuffed olives, capers, and salmon! COME GET SOME! That MFer is almost non-cheat day worthy if it weren't for the cheese. BUT THAT'S WHY I ASKED FOR EXTRA CHEESE! AND it was delicious!

When we got to the venue, RPM Music on Irving Park, I grabbed a chocolate covered donut from the snack table. ALWAYS a good Cheat Day idea. I then walked to CVS for a few items and picked myself up a 32 ounce Corona to drink while we played. You KNOW you gotta have some beer on Cheat Day. I then stopped by what I had HOPED would be my review for the week but it ain't happening in full and here's why. STEINGOLD'S JEWISH DELI. I popped in to try and grab me a bagel and maybe even a Ruben, who knows? CHEAT DAY. But the line was long and we were about to go on so I turn my gaze from the overhead menu to the hot box on the counter. EUREKA! A quick to-go bite. I ask for one and the cashier says, "I'll give you that for free if that's what you want, it's been sitting in there a long time."

To which I reply with a blush and a titter, "REALLY?! You'd do that for me?! hehe!"

"Uuuh, Yeah, why not" He replies.

"Great THANKS! I've gotta run! I'm playing that record store across the street, I'll be back for a Reuben later BIG BOY!" But when we were done playing at like 3:15 the mother fucker was CLOSED! On a fucking SATURDAY. CHEAT DAY?!!! The fuq?! That's okay, I ate the bagel breakfast sandwich and the cashier was right to give it to me, it was sub par at best so I will not make my local review Steingold's this week.

Chorizo Tacos and Delicious Salsas

After dropping our gear off at home I headed back down to the record store area to try and catch my friends' band play, but I missed them. Instead I went to an old favorite, Fast Super Burrito! I have spoken of this place in the past. I used to live directly across from them. BUT, because I have not eaten there since my triumphant return to cheat day I will regale you with a tale of Fast Super Burrito here and now.

I bust in the door, ready to eat! The place is more dead than Barbara Bush (too soon? RIP) and the two working the joint recognize me immediately despite the fact I am essentially "Guy Incognito" with my handlebar mustache, slicked back hair, aviators and denim jacket. They say, "It's been a while, how have you been?"

And I say, "I'm alright. I'd be a lot better with 2 chicken quesadillas and 2 chorizo tacos in front of my face."

"You got it weirdo"

"Thanks! How've you guys been?"

"Not bad, we have Taco Tuesday and Taco Thursday now"

"Taco Tuesday AND Thursday?!" I scoff! I scoff because if you are desperate enough to have two taco days each week "Not bad" is a bold faced lie to the question "How've you been?" With that being said, do yourselves a favor and hit up Fast Super Burrito on Irving Park for some $1 tacos on Tuesday and Thursday. It is Fast. It IS Super. It's Burrito...or in this case taco.

Then I wanted more beer. But my buddy James Manny had another idea. PIZZA. "What did I do?" you ask. Well, I'll tell you what I didn't do, how about that. I DIDN'T say. "Nah, man I can't have pizza right now I just ate Fast Super Burrito." So to Tortorice's we went. A place I have only had delivered before and I have always liked alright. Upon entering the take out restaurant James has one very plain and simple question for the guy. "Can you cut this pizza into SLICES rather than squares?"

And the kid behind the counter say, "Sure, if you want."

"We do want." Says James who then orders a small pepperoni to split with me. We get the mother fuck and what do you know? SQUARES! Pieces of shit! James throws a fit all over the dumbass working the register while I eat more than my fair share of the pizza. Gotta LOVE IT! James is right though, slices are superior than squares. It allows for each piece of pizza the ability to run the gamut of pizza pie consistency: from soggy and droopy to first and dry, making each bite of the slice a new adventure!

Finally we get to Laschet's where we eventually end the night. You know it, you love it: Laschett's! It was packed but I finally got me a liter of Stiegl Gold and was loving every second of it from then on out. When we finally got a table I ordered a GIANT pretzel all to myself. Their German food is the best I've had by far and I highly recommend getting there to eat some time and not just drown yourself in liters of Stiegl, LIKE ME!

I feel like I'm back on track. I feel better again. I feel healthier and slimmer, regardless of what the scale tells me. I just can't allow myself to slip up during the week. I discovered that most lunch meat contains sugar, which was a major reality check to me, but fuck it! I'll find something else to eat during the week! Thank you everyone for having fun with me on Cheat Days and Non. Let's fucking do this! Take care of each other. Take care of yourselves. And eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach

Cheese Day. Don't Care.

Yum a Dummy Do Cheaters! It is I Zach FARTILIUS Finch! Talkin' once again about CHEAT fuggin' DAY. I am back to sub-260 and I NEVER want to go above that ever the FUCK again! So gimme a "holla atcha boy" in the comments if you agree! OR DON'T Fuck it, what do I care. Ya'll are just here to live vicariously through a gluten and I love you for that!

I did it guys! I had a great week of Slow Carbs and I lost some poundage. I also did a lot of biking and walking on top of that. I intend on increasing my work out routine further and I will let you know how that goes next week. But I biked my DICK OFF let me tell you. And for those of you who bike, you know the exact feeling I'm talking about. And for those of you without dicks or don't bike or both I will describe it to you. Sometimes you bike SO MUCH that the narrow and HARD seat you are sitting on is CRAMMED deep into your taint and makes your junk fall asleep. Ya know, has your foot ever fallen asleep from you sitting on it? It's like that, but in your dick!

"WHERE DID YOU EAT YOU NASTY FREAK?!"

Ah jeez, my dick bit made you hungry eh? Well, I'll get right to it. I didn't make too strong of a plan for this Cheat Day as my lovely lady Liz was not to be joining me. So, we woke up and ate a rather usual breakfast: Eggs and Bacon, only this time we added CHEESE to everything. I also ate left over chips from an impromptu game night which I topped with, YOU GUESSED IT, CHEESE! Dem GOT DAMNED Henning's Wisconsin Cheese Curds at that. GOT DAMN that's good cheese.

Chooch Chat Episode 84

I then went to record an episode of my podcast, Chooch Chat, with Tony Giamichael of the Rock and Roll outfit Man Called Noon. On the way to his place I picked up an 8 pack of Guinness pints. I left only two in the Mom's Studio fridge when all was said and done. Beer is a truly yearn-able beverage on this slow carb diet. For a guy like me to limit himself to one day of beer per week is quite a feat. So I LEANED into it. I had 6 pints of Guinness, 2 Ayingers, and 2 Busch Lights while at Mom's Studios. I know, the quality really drops off there, but HEY that's 8 pretty heavy beers, all while I was at Mom's Studio doing the podcast and I was still standing and ready for more! I also ate MORE cheese there, a delicious assortment of Trader Joe's fancy cheeses. I guess we'll call this one CHEESE Day. Don't Care...

After that Tony and I went to Nick's on Wilson where our friend, Nick Taylor, was working. Nick's on Wilson is JUST a bar, no food. I'd call it a dive bar, but Tony thinks it's too nice...stupid idiot! I knew before I was gonna drink anymore I needed SOMEthing to eat. So we went into the adjacent 7-Eleven where I got a small Italian sub and 4 taquitos. FLAVORS?! 2 Jalapeno and Cream Cheese and 2 Taco and Cheese. The 7-Eleven taquito is one of my all time favorite guilty pleasure foods. I'll gladly waste some Cheat Day gut space on those bad boys.

Once in Nick's I enjoyed 3 more beers, 3 Floyd's Alpha King on tap. Delicious. Nick also made Tony and I a special shot which he called a rainbow water slide. VERY fruity. I'm pretty sure Nick just used all of the Stoli flavored vodkas for it. It was nearing the end of my Cheat Day when I left Nick's bar and I wasn't entirely satisfied with my choices. But then, I met back up with Liz and She. Changed. Everything.

Neither of us wanted to do much with our Saturday evening so we made our way to our local bodega for some snacks to nosh on while watching a movie. My choice was nachos and a burrito from a local Mexican joint, FUCK bodega snacks, those are for suckers. And as we approached the bodega we saw a bright shiny idea bulb in the form of the new local corner bar to our neighborhood: Wolcott Tap!

We went in and I CONTINUED to drink beer! I ordered 2 Half-Acre Daisycutters and a Hamms. The Hamms was only $3 on tap, not too shabby a price. While there we also made the bold decision to ORDER FUCKING FOOD. I did it! I hit up a new local spot! A Cheat Day NECESSITY, so I am glad this turn of events took place. They had a good bar menu! And, though a bit pricey, delicious food. I ordered a Cheesesteak with Fries and Liz ordered the Cubano. Their Cheesesteak and Cubanos were a bit different but delicious none the less. See they hollow out these strange delicious rolls that are nice and crispy and buttery, yum a dum dum, and then they stuff those rolls with delicious fillings, the likes of which you'd find on a cheesesteak or in a cubano. I was nervous the sandwiches would fall apart easily, but quite the contrary! They held together exquisitely. The fries, though not my usual preference were quite good and unique. I give it a solid point and pump. It's going to be great because it is super close too!

To cap it all off I got some Cherry Coke (the king of sodas) at that bodega afterwards and made some whiskey-cokes. I woke up this morning with a horrible stomach ache. I guess cheat day was a huge success. Don't forget everyone: Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. Eat like your life depended on it.

ELE
Zach

Boozin' Is BAD Mmmkay, You Shouldn't Try To Lose Weight On Booze.

Hey Cheaters, what's up... it's Zach, yer #1 Cheatin' ASS Mofuga here, comin' at ya. At least I thought I cheated like a beast until this past weekend. Here I am, 7 weeks in and I am back to where I started weight wise and if you don't know where that is than TOUGH, I ain't tellin' ya! Go back and read my other posts! Basically the long and the short of it is that I have just been losing 5 pounds one week and then gaining it right back the next. Why is this happening to me?! I don't FUCKING KNOW, but it's time to get serious.

Fatty Fatty Buttcrack

I'm dropping booze during the week. SORRY friends of mine, but meet up with me on mo fuggin' cheat day and we'll throw down. This is huge. I also am going to cut out eating past a certain hour. And, finally, I need to cut back on the good non-cheat foods: peanuts, hummus, avocado, and BEANS. GOD DAMMIT, that's what is keeping me afloat, BUT I CAN DO THIS! Sticking with mostly veggies and lean protein, let's FUCK!

Now before you get yall's panties in a twist, thinkin' all. "AWW Zach's having trouble I bet he didn't fat his ass up this cheat day!"

Well LAY OFF ME, I'M NOT STARVIN'!...see what I did there?

Anyway, this past Cheat Day I was NOT prepared with any delicious treats for me to tear into as soon as I hoped off the scale. As fun as this is, if I am even going to come close to my goal this is a tactic I am going to have to consider keeping. Liz's aunt and cousin were in town this past weekend so she and I waited around for them to get ready so we could munch some brunch down at our favorite diner Danny's Egghead, only to find out the sombitch was CLOSED as a mother fucker. If this post is revealing this news to you I am very sorry Danny's fans. I am still not 100% sure what happened and I hope they return to us soon. So, starving as I was, we doubled back to a brunch spot closer to where we live called Marmalade.

www.marmaladechicago.com

Corned Beef Hash (not the side FYI)

Marmalade was delish! Definitely better than the first time I had it. I ate the Chicken Biscuits and Gravy and a side of corned beef hash. Let me start by saying, the corned beef hash, only cheat-qualifying because they had legit home-fries up in dere, was the absolute BEST corned beef hash I have EVER eaten! GO GET IT AND TELL ME I'M WRONG! It was not only legit corned beef with hash browns but it also had a slight hint of that shitty canned corned beef yer mama gave you for Sunday breakfast on summer vacation!

As for the chicken and biscuits and gravy, the flavor was bomb, but everything was a little dry. But let's be honest people, HOW can you go wrong with fried chicken tenders, bacon-bit stuffed biscuits, and sausage gravy on a CHEAT DAY! Ya CAN'T! PLUS the helping was massive, and you KNOW I ate all dat shit! WHAT?!

FINE art at it's FINEST

On we went to the Art Institute, cause we was touristy AF this Cheat Day. We saw all that "good-good" talkin' Monet, Manet, Hopper, Picasso, Seurat, Dali, van Gogh, Gauguin plus a room filled with inflatable fish! It was tight! We left and walked to the Nutella cafe. That's right everyone NOT in Chicago, our downtown has a touristy-ASS Nutella Cafe that puts Nutella up in EVERYTHING, including a Nutella gelato. I had Nutella stuffed cookies, and it was excellent.

Game Over Man!

Later on I drank about 5 Miller High Lifes, about 3 Liters of Steigl Goldbrau, and then devoured a large pepperoni and jalapeno pizza, large cheesy bread, and buffalo wings from Sarpino's with Brian, Rob, and Tony while we struggled to watch "Game Over Man!" that Workaholics Netflix movie. I didn't make it through to the end, probably because it's not very good. But WHATEVER! Successful CHEAT DAY, even though it probably shouldn't have been that successful.

Whatever man, I'm taking a step back from the booze, I'm gonna hop back on my bike and ride everywhere again, and I am gonna eat even righter. Cause pretty soon I'm going to need to fit in suits for weddings and I want to look hot AS FUCK. Go listen to Chooch Chat! And remember! Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. And eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach Finch

A St. Patrick's Cheat Day

Top'O'the'Mornin' to ya CHEATERS! And welcome back to this week's edition of Cheat Day.Don't Care! This week's cheat day landed on St. Patrick's Day! That wonderful holiday that no one really knows anything about but loves to celebrate to it's fullest extent anyway. EVERYBODY'S Irish on this day and if you don't wear green your ass is getting PINCHED! There's green everything! Green Beer, Green Beads, Green Poop caused by the green beer, green tights, green asses and titties walking around everywhere, and green EGGS AND HAM (NOT ON CHEAT DAY! You can't fool me!).

Hershey

Kraft

Before I get in to what I ate I want you all to know that I lost the 5 pounds again that I had gained back from the week before. SO SUCK ON THAT BOTCHES! WOOO! Back on track! So, having seen this loss on my scale I decided to dive right the fuck in with a box of Kraft Shells Jalapeño Mac & Cheese that I picked up on clearance from the grocery store the week before. I also polished off about half a bag of chocolate covered pretzels. THAT'S how you start a damn cheat day. After HOUSING 2/3rds of a box of mac and chee and what felt like a bottomless chocolate pretzel bag I took a nap. Cause it's Saturday and it's Cheat Day and it's a damn holiday and that's what I DO! I napped with an episode of the Simpsons on to lull me to sleep, Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment, LIKE A St. Patty's Day BOSS!

Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment

Liz and I awoke just in time to hit the trains downtown to meet up with my Aunt Katie who was in town with her girlfriends to paint the town GREEN. GREEN for the IRISH! We had planned to go to the breakfast chain Yolk, but of course downtown was packed what with it being St. Patrick's Day and all, IN CHICAGO at that. To hear more about the types of debauchery to be seen in Chicago on St. Patrick's Day go listen to my podcast: Chooch Chat.

Dollop Turkey Sandwich

So we skipped waiting to get in to Yolk and went to a swanky-ish coffee shop, called Dollop, for some warm beverages to tide us over. It being Cheat Day I also ordered me a fancy Turkey Sammy that had a garlic aioli, some fancy Wisconsin sharp cheddar on some delicious wheat bread, all things I recommend on a cheat day.

We enjoyed our hot beverages and took a walk down to the river to check out how friggin' green it was, it was REAL green and also to enjoy some people watching. The parade was about end so needless to say it was a wild scene maaaaan. People of all sorts were there and several of them were VERY drunk at 12:30 in the afternoon. After we walked the river a bit we came back to where Aunt Katie was staying and we decided we HAD to have us a full meal so we went to a little, recently opened, pizza spot called Streeterville Pizzeria and Tap. It was crowded, but again, that's to be expected. Chicago has one of the most popular Drunken Irish Day celebrations in the world.

Aunt Katie and I decided FUCK IT, let's drink us some green beers. We each had two. I also went ahead and threw back a shot of Jameson, because I'm half Irish and my blood wouldn't allow me NOT to order said shot. We then ordered one small buffalo chicken pizza and one small margherita pizza to split between the three of us. The pizzeria boasted a somewhat Neapolitan style in it's pizza making. They only serve thin crust and they seem to be brick opened, or at least have that consistency. Over all the pizza was quite quality and that showed because there was no food left when we were done as I took it upon myself to down all remaining chicago-style square slices after the ladies threw in the towel. CHEAT DAY DON'T CARE how many sliced of pizza you can or cannot eat!

"But Zach, it's St. Patrick's Day and you decide to eat PIZZA?!"

YEEEESSS, MOTHER, I decide to eat PIZZA cause it's the perfect Cheat Day food, plus we had LITTLE options down there so LAY OFF!

After a delightful time with Aunt Katie Liz and I go rest up a bit before our even St. Patrick's Day event. We were already feeling cheated out when we went up to our friend Marie Weigle's St. Patrick's day food gathering. We brought Guinness and MORE chocolate covered pretzels to the party. GUINNESS, a St. Patrick's Day necessity. Marie had regular pretzels and delicious tangy onion dip as well as some cheese and crackers already set out. These sound like boring staples but it is boring staples you will miss the most throughout the week so they are MUCH appreciated.

Serving Up Love

As the main courses were being brought out the Kansas Jayhawks were winning their way into the Sweet 16. ROCK CHALK BABY. Also Rock Chalk Mate Sater's RUEBEN CALZONE! YUM-A-DUMMY-DUM. Now do NOT balk at this dish without letting me explain. This is Corned Beef and Sauer Kraut (German Cabbage, so close!) with 1,000 island dressing wrapped in pizza dough. It was dank as fuck AND a delightful marrying of Irish and Italian cuisine with a dash of German influence all up in there! Marie then brought out a delicious Mac and Cheese casserole. That's right! Mac and Cheese twice in one cheat day! And a tray of delicious potatoes (another St. Pat's necessity)!

After gorging myself on these delicious treats and doing about 5 Guinness and a PBR and 2 glasses of Jameson on the rocks Liz and I hit up another friend's house to play a little cards against humanity. They tried to give me more food but honestly I was full. So instead I knocked back a couple of High Life's and called it a cheat day! So SURE, I started the St. Patrick's Cheat Day off a little wrong, but I think I MORE than made up for it. Until next cheat day! Take care of yourselves, take care or each other, and eat like you life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach Finch

Green Paint Clean Taint! CHEAT DAY!

What Up! You Chooch-tastic Cheaters! Welcome to the Cheat Day Blog! I ruined it guys! I cheated when it wasn't Cheat Day and I paid the fucking price. I weighed in at right where I started, 262.4. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?! I'm COMING CLEAN! I blame the alcohol. THAT'S RIGHT! There were a couple of instances where I drank booze.

Pinnacle Vodka

Now, although vodka has no sugars or carbs it also has no nutritional VALUE either...I KNOW it sucks GOD DAMMIT! It's not so much that it negatively affects my weight it is more that it affects my energy and decision making. Being sober for 2 and a half weeks in February gave me SO MUCH extra energy and made it so I got a lot more done physically and dutifully.

Also, two of the nights I was knockin' em back I went and drank some beer! Now THAT'S a huge god damn No-No on this diet. Basically any carbs or sugars during the week throws off the whole god damn Cheat Day. And when you cheat as HARD and as FAT as I did last cheat day that makes you gain all your friggin' weight back! DICKS! THIS SUCKS! Especially when you are trying so GOD DAMN hard otherwise. So this week I ain't drinking AT.ALL. so SUCK ON THAT! Next Cheat Day being St. Patrick's Day, I think this make a whole FAT TIT of sense!

"Hey Zach, stop crying and tell us what you ate this cheat day! We're all dying to know!" HEY! TAKE IT EASY! WE'RE THERE!

Alright, I was down after that weigh in but I did NOT let that stop me. I woke up, and what did I do?!

"ate Taco Be-"

USA Today

THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT, ATE TACO BELL! HAHAHA NO, I didn't GO to Taco Bell, so chill. The night before Cheat Day Liz, friend Time Brickey, and I went to Taco Bello (Taco Bell in Italian) and I didn't eat a FUCKING THING, so THERE! (See what kind of effort I'm putting in here!). Liz got an order of naked chicken chips with nacho cheese and some sort of tangy ranch. She couldn't finish them all so I saved them, woke up and polished them bad boys off! The only other thing I had in the house that was cheat day worthy was an Outshine Bar. ATE IT and I headed off to my local-joint of the week.

Spoken Cafe

Now, I've been to Spoken several times. It's a local, and way better than Starbucks, coffee spot right off the Montrose Brown Line stop. So I knew I was going to get quality. When I know I am going to write about a place it makes me really over analyze it. In this case it effected Spoke negatively, so take all the negatives with a grain of salt. And here they are, its slow and expensive. It's slow because it's busy and it's expensive because it is quality.

Cheat Day morning it was packed and service was a little slow, but I got a coffee and a FUCKING DONUT (fine for a donut) to enjoy while I waited for my TWO breakfast sandwiches. The staff let some orders lap me and in made me a little sour so I took into account the amount of money a bagel sandwich costs ($8 not including tax), and it got me a little angry. NO I didn't complain and make the cafe employee's lives a little more sad, THAT would be mean! Instead I snagged my bagel-wiches and headed home. BUT, they cost so much cause the ingredients are CHOICE!

Sandwich 1: All Day Breakfast Sandwich: Egg, Bacon, Cheddar on a buttered Everything Bagel. So simple, so delicious and the ingredients are fresh and quality.

All Day Bfast Sandy

Sandwich 2: Senora Huerta: Ham, Provolone, Red Onion, Red Pepper Pesto, Pickled Banana Peppers on a Pizza Bialy! YUM-UH-DUMDUM

Over-All Spoken is a quality cafe with quality coffee and excellent food items. I give it 4 out of 5 "point-and-pumps"!

After shoving those big meaty bad boys down my fat face I had a podcast to do. That's right, CHOOCH CHAT! Check it out at the link! I had a great chat with Anthony Giamichael, Michael Hamilton, and Yousof Sultani! During the whole thing I was swigging on some Maker's Mark, a delectable bourbon!

Makerr's Mark

dominoes.com

brandeating.com

When I returned home, to help my lady love paint the apartment, she had Domino's waiting for me! Domino's is cheap but it's pizza. Our favorite, thanks to Tyler Walker, is pineapple and jalapeno. She also got an order of bacon and jalapeno cheesy garlic bread. I FUCKING LOVE DAT SHIT!

Henning's Cheese Curds

Tostitos

Before I started painting I ran to Mariano's to pick up some Tostitos scoops with which I scooped up some buffalo flavored chicken salad. I also stuffed those scoops with Hening's Wisconsin Cajun Cheese Curds. I know, I KNOW my east coast audience: "cheese CURD?! That sounds disgusting!" It's NOT. It's fucking delicious. I ate some of them raw and the rest I stuffed them into dem scoops and made little curd nachos. FUCKING delicious! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED Finally, I got an 8 pack of Guinness, so I would hopefully avoid booze this week, and I finished about 5 of them bad boys. After all that I straight up PASSED OUT. What do you think? Not quite as bad a Cheat Day right? I mean! 0 trips to Taco Bell as opposed to TWO different trips?! Not too bad at all! ONWARD AND UPWARD! 200 LBS HERE I COME!

Buffalo Chix Salad

Guiness

              

And remember, take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and eat like your life depended on it.



ELE,
Zach Finch