A Laborious Non-Cheat Day

Good Day Cheat Fans! I hope you had a good holiday and I hope you didn't work at all, and if you DID I hope you didn't work hard AT ALL! That's what Labor Day is for after all, not working. So, if you worked on Labor Day and you are working today STOP, only for a few minutes and read this blog, Cheat Day. Don't Care. A blog about my Cheat Day adventures. If you have been with me for a while this is a new edition, a new week, a new cheat day. If you are just joining me, welcome! If you find this one boring, go back and read some of my far crazier adventures.

I had gained weight (2lbs bringing me back to 244) when I weighed in on what would have normally been my Cheat Day. In my last edition I had made mention of the fact that there would be no official Cheat Day for the next few weeks to a month as I drop drinking all together and attempt to focus my efforts for a wedding I am to be involved in this month. I have held strong on the no drinking which is great, BUT I have eaten a few off diet meals. Here is what and why:

Tuesday afternoon I went to a Cubs game (one of the hardest places to NOT drink mind you, they got guys BRINING YOU beer! C'mon!). Anyway, I totally ate Taco Bell before the game so I could get grub on the cheap. I got 2 Beefy 5-Layer Burritos and the new Double Stuffed Cheesy Gordita Crunch and before you fuckers ask, YES I got the nacho cheese Doritos loco taco shell instead of the plain old hard shell. I was disappointed by how stuffed this double stuffed CGC was, but that COULD be because the war zone that is the Wrigleyville taco bell is about to close down and their staff could give two shits about the food, customers, or Taco Bell in general. I think I'm going to try it again at a different Bell.

Here we can share my POP!

Once in the game Nicole Carter gave me a weiner with mustard and onions (ball park dogs are dank as fuck BITCH) even though I TOLD HER I was full from Taco Bell and didn't want anything else! I also ate a few of her fries and the rest of her soft pretzel, but I WASN'T HUNGRY I SWEAR! I just can't leave food behind which is a HUGE problem I have...YUGE.

THEN there was Wednesday. I ate pizza, Papa fucking Johns SHIT pizza cut into god damn Chicago/Midwest SQUARES and not slices because this city for some reason doesn't know what fucking pizza is!...because (sorry) I ate it because I went to the American Blues Theatre fundraiser that Liz put together and that came with the price of admission. I also drank a Sprite. I like Sprite. Oh, OH! Get this, PBR also came with the price of admission, and I totally didn't even drink one! SUCK ON THAT SALLY!

TAKE THE PICTURE!

Then I was pretty good for the next couple days until Sunday when I went to the grocery store and ate two donuts. I also drank a couple of Cherry Cokes. Then on Monday (Labor Day) just before the main event Liz and I got trapped in Margie's Candies from the rain...oh no, SO SAD, what a HORRIBLE place to be trapped...NOT. It was awesome. I got mint chocolate chip in a chocolate dipped with sprinkles waffle cone and Liz got a turtle sundae with birthday cake ice cream and a different kind of ice cream that I can't remember. Margie's Candies fucking RULES! Go get ice cream from there!

Then, for the main event! Logan's BIG SAUSAGE CHALLENGE!!!! BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM! Thanks Logan for making ME a judge! It was a delight. The Conner's are known for their yearly Chili Cook Off in February, but this year they thought they'd try a new challenge. This one was set up like more of a cooking show/challenge. This year there were two teams of 3: Team Law TBD and Team Art. The Law came in hard with a Korean/Mexican fusion sausage in your standard hot dog bun. The sausage was cooked to perfection, though the fusion was more of a FEUDsion as each food style kind of fought for attention with each bit. Then Art had to show up with their make shift sausage patty breakfast sandwich. It was a delicious sandwich, but the toppings: egg, pomegranate slaw, Brussels sprouts, and feta cheese kind of over powered the sausage patty a bit.

The Team of judges!

LOOK! I'm no foodie, I just like to eat dank ass shit, and DANK dis SHIT was. If they put it on again next year and you're around! Attend and partake in some delicious sausage concoctions!

Look at me go, trying not to Cheat Day but still sprinkling some cheat around whenever I get the chance! Here I come Cheeseman wedding! I'm gonna look so HOT in my TUX. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other and eat like your life depended on it.

ELE,
Zach

THEY CAME FOR CHEAT DAY!

Pie in the Park

OOOOOH BOY Cheaters! What a fantastically fun filled entry do I have for you this week! I had my very first Cheat Day. Don't Care. fans/friends make a trip ALL THE WAY to Chicago from Virginia JUST to experience Cheat Day with me! Well...not really JUST for that, they also wanted to catch a concert that wasn't coming to the east coast and they've never been here before and they wanted to check it out and well...SHUT UP! A boy can dream can't he?! THEY CAME FOR CHEAT DAY!

Chooch Chat

Stephen Kolberg and Jennifer Lamendola were my college roommates and now they are married. It's been a long time since we've seen each other and a WAY longer time since we've actually hung out so the whole thing has been a serious treat for me as well. They landed at my placed on Cheat Morning at around 10:30AM. We waited around a bit for Liz to be ready to GET THIS CHEAT DAY GOING!

We started at my NEW SPOT OF THE WEEK! I have been to Bang Bang Pie and Biscuits a few times just for fun and before this diet and it was always delectable. Before getting in to the vastness of this flavor country I want to take it down a notch or two. It's simply cramped. That is totally not unheard of in this town as it IS a city and it has to fit many buildings into each block so some joints open up into locations that are just a bit too small for the eventual boom in business. Otherwise Bang Bang, GOOD SHOW! Also, special shout out to my home boy Trevor! It's always great to see you bud, sorry it doesn't happen too often!

I ATE a Buffalo Chicken Pot Pie for my meal. The others got a sausage biscuit with cheddar cheese and a seasonal jam, and biscuits and gravy with sausage and egg. I got to try it all and it was all glorious. I loved the pot pie, though it was a bit too blue cheesy for my taste. If you love blue cheese EAT DAT SHIT MOTHER FUGGLER! The biscuits were amazing.

NOW LET'S TALK PIE! We got three slices to split between 4 people. We got their Honey Pie (baked honey custard, blueberry compote, graham crust), Black and Blue Pie (blackberries, blueberries, orange brown sugar crumble, leaf lard pastry crust) and Chocolate Puddin' Pie (chocolate pudding, whipped cream, graham crust). MY FAVORITE?! The chocolate puddin' pie. However, I think the consensus was pretty split across the board.

MOVING ON! There were a few grumbling about not eating enough of this or not eating enough of that, but I gotta tell you, that first meat packed quite a punch and these two SKINNY PUNKS had a long way to go with Ol'ZACH at the helm. I'm not saying I paced myself for their sake necessarily because I am trying to get into the habit of pacing myself in general. BUT, you listen to what we ate the rest of the day and YOU TELL ME!

We didn't eat for quite a while after that, but we did stop to meet Cheat Day Pal, Soup (sorry I never drank that Malort your Cheat Day requests are reinstated), at Hopleaf for some brews. I had 2 Zombiedusts from Three Floyds and 2 Double Daisy Cutters from Half Acre. I REALLY enjoyed those Double Daisy Cutters, espcially for 8%ers.

Next, BOOM Jet's Pizza. The three of us split a small, two each ya tallywackers! Guess what, THEY FUCKING LOVED IT. Because who FRIGGIN doesn't?! NO ONE that's who! YOU TWATS! GO. TO. JET'S. PIZZA! We had a Hawaiian with jalapeno.

Almost immediately from there we went to (ANOTHER NEW PLACE) Big Star so we could slam a pitcher of margaritas and two TACOS each. It was a day of twos and and it was about the perfect amount! I ate a Taco De Panza (crispy braised pork belly, tomato guajillo sauce, queso fresco, onion, cilantro) and a Taco Al Pastor (marinated spit roasted pork shoulder, grilled pineapple, grilled onion, cilantro). I gotta tell ya, I like them, they were priced fairly I thought for as big this restaurant is, but I've had MUCH better tacos in a city that is just jammed packed with delicious and authentic Mexican food.

A post-Big Star mini-bar crawl ensued. We did a shot and a beer at G-Man Tavern, then a shot and a beer at Ten Cat where we eventually met up with Liz. Once Liz arrived I had several more beers. (Mostly PBRs across the board Alex, sorry it was nothing fancy).

Now, I'm gonna let ya'll guess what happens next!

Cheat Day carried over a bit into the next day when we ate at Ramen Wasabi and then made a rather LATE NIGHT Taco Bell Cantina run. Thanks for visiting Stephen and Jennifer. You know how I know we are great friends who made a connection that will last the rest of our lives? Our hanging out never skipped a god damn beat. It was almost like we were back in college again (most of the time anyway). We made the same old jokes, new jokes of the same style, new jokes of a DIFFERENT style and talked about all sorts of people we used to know and still know! We also talked about real shit about being grown up and the way things change and how to cope.

Take care of yourselves. If you do it'll better prepare you to take care of each other. And always eat like your life depended on it.

ELE,
Zach Finch

Dinner Diner

In Place of Stephen eating, a Slinger

Eat It Up

A Wrigleyville Bar Crawl?! Only on Cheat Day!

It was Liz's birthday last week Cheaters! So here's what I did on not Cheat Day that was bad:

Wednesday (8/1): Liz and I went with Soup and Rolando to the White Sox v. Royals game. It was dollar hot dog night. I ate 2.5 hot dogs, half an Italian Beef Sandwich, and about 6 beers (before the game and during).

Thursday (8/2): Liz's Birthday Eve. I left work a little early to make sure I collected a birthday cake for Liz from Sweet Mandy B's (Yellow cake and chocolate frosting). I ate some of that. I also got one of them $5 boxes of cookies from Mariano's and some of the tube icing. I ate some of that too. I also drank 6 High Life Tall boys waiting to go bowling at Timber Lanes and then I had another beer or two while at the bowling alley.

Friday (8/3): Liz's Birthday! I DID go to work. I was good most of the day. THEN, when Liz went to do The Buddy Holly Story I got a pastor burrito and a plate of nachos with chorizo. THEN, we went to Tank and the Bangas where I did not drink or eat anything bad! I stuck with water.

NOW! I woke up Cheat Day and I expected the WORST! But I lost a pound...don't ask me how! But I did, so I still Cheated! WHO-YA! I woke up late, like 11:30AM. Weighed in and didn't eat or drink anything except water. Liz and I stayed in bed until almost 2PM. It was quite perfect, it was exactly what we both wanted/needed. Eventually Liz put together some vittles for us. She threw together a brunch made entirely from farmer's market findings. We each had half a tomato atop two very full and delicious slices of multi-grain bread. On the side? Two perfectly ripened peaches. It truly was quite lovely AND pretty Cheat-a-rific. Cheat day meals don't always have to be the worst shit for you, sometimes it can be fruit and responsibly made breads!

When Liz hit the road for her two show day I headed out in search of entertainment. My idea was that I'd go pick up my bike from downtown and ride it back up to my neck of the woods. In route avid Cheat Day. Don't Care. reader, SuperBowl Champ AlexRomero, hit me up with a Cheat Day request. This is a new segment I'm going to be workshopping. I'd like to do fan requests. I'll take the first 5 each Cheat Day. The only stipulation is that the request be something that I am only allowed to eat or drink on Cheat Day.

Alex's request was that at some point during the day I drink a Jack and Coke. Well, on my way downtown I stopped by my local bodega to pick up the ingredients: 1 pint of Jack Daniels and 1 24oz Coke. I mixed up a quick one on the brown line and started to drink it. Man, what a delicious and refreshing alcoholic beverage. I gotta tell you, when Alex submitted that request I was very excited. That was JUST what the doctor ordered, so I thank you Alex!

While on the train, sipping my refreshing Jack and Coke, I got a text response from Hambone letting me know that he was in a staged reading at Ignition Fest at Victory Gardens Theater and that I should come check it out. It happened to be right on my way, and perfect timing to boot, so that is just what I did. The play was very funny, but also used some rather offensive language. Therefor I polished off the last of that Jack Daniels during the play. By the time we were going to leave the theater I was a little drunk and not really feeling like a bike ride anymore so I stuck with the group from the reading. We had Hambone, Sater, and Charlotte and we all wanted to EAT! Cheat Day baby!

We settled on DMK burger bar which was a short walk from the theater. Burgers tend to be a running theme in this blog. This is because buns and cheese and sauces are all a great things to consume on Cheat Day and hamburger is like a delicious and juicy vessel for those items. DMK produces a mean burger that's for sure. If they didn't have their head so far up their own ass I might like them more. I got the 3 & 1/2 (2x4 Hot Cheese) and it was a cheesy/zesty delight. We also got two different type of fries: sweet potato fries (which I don't like but I tried anyway cause...Cheat Day) with a most delicious and sweet/tangy Lemon Tobasco Aioli and Wisconsin Cheddar and Scallions fries with a deliciously buttery cheese sauce on top. I also had a denim bikini cocktail which was gingery, lemony, and fun as well a couple light beers.

The service was great and the atmosphere was fine. Considering we were the drunk and loud table I couldn't fault the establishment on atmosphere as they handled us great. The reason why I say their head is firmly up their own ass are the prices mostly. Good burgers, fine cocktails, but I'll make my own Jack and Cokes and grab a burger from Slim's any god damn Cheat Day of the Week!

Theeeeeen the fabulous foursome decided they weren't done drinking, so we set out on an impromptu bar crawl looking for SHOTS (Charlotte's idea). First stop, Sheffield's Beer and Wine Garden where we were NOT gonna stay cause the Cubs crowd was out in full force, but Charlotte bought us shots and we kept heading north. They did tequila, and I stuck to whiskey. Two blocks later we found ourselves at Nisei Lounge where we were hoping to find some open dart boards...we did not. So Sater bought the round of shots, we shot them and went across the street to Chicago's Blarney Stone.

THEY DID HAVE AN OPEN DART BOARD. So we hunkered down there for a minute with a round of beers. Mid-Dart game (WHICH I WON by they way!) I bought our 3rd and penultimate round of shots. After beating the shit out of the other 4 losers at darts we went to our last stop. We were hoping for G-Man Tavern to play some shit pool on a shit pool table but they completely changed everyone about their back room...which ya know, good for them, so we stopped for a shot and a beer at....

I'm gonna be honest guys, I don't remember the name of the last place we went. could have been Trace, could have been WHISK. I don't friggin know. It was on Clark just south of The Metro and they were real nice to us. Of course, we were real nice too, so...stands to reason. We sat there at the bar in a group over a beer and shot purchased by Hambone. We chatted a bit more and then we decided it'd be time to call it. We split up and I decided I'd walk on home from there to sober up a bit and maybe make a couple stops for a little more cheat food!

First stop was Wrigleyville Dogs where I drunkenly devoured a Chicago dog and a gyro. I then walked about a mile from there to the 7-11 on Clark and Montrose where I snagged a jalapeno cream cheese taquito, a taco taquito, and one of those string cheese rolled up in a piece of prosciutto and I ate that stuff as I finished the walk home.

That was it! I know, I really went for it there at the end. Ya know, it's kind of funny what you convince yourself you should do when you've convinced yourself that you're running out of time. "I won't be able to eat anything shitty like this for another whole WEEK! I should go ahead and force a taquito down my throat NOW even though I'm not very hungry!" And of course booze is always that good friend standing over your shoulder going, "yeah do it! It's gonna be so AWESOME! You're going to love it, and no one's gonna know...if you don't want them to know you actually had 4 taquitos and a sandwich to you fatty boom-buh-laddie!" Whoops! I guess I did do that! Thanks drunk Zach!

Anyway, I'm taking fan requests for what I should eat or drink this coming Cheat Day. I'm also going for a loss of 5 pounds this week! I think I should start doing that too! If I lose a goal amount of poundage I can go BUCK WILD, but if I don't meet my goal I can only have like a cheat meal! What do you guys think about THAT?! Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and eat like your life depended on it.

ELE,
Zach

Freaky Cheat Day

OH MY GOD Cheatsters! What a wild Cheat Day this past week. Before I get into the crazy stuff let me just tell you that I gained only ONE pound since the 4th of July and the wild Florida week and I think that's actually pretty gaul dern GOOD, kay?! So if you're like pissed or whatever you can just effing SHOVE IT!

Also, If this is your first time reading EVER or even in a while go back and read a few posts and you'll know what the hell I have been up to and why I'm not mad about gaining a pound on the slow carb diet.

I need to give a quick shout out to Soup, Maureen M., Super Bowl Champ Alex R., and as usual the loveliest lovely Liz C. for a mid week cook out on the beach. Alex R. was, rightfully, busting my balls because I was enjoying a few midweek beers during the cook out. I want to point out once more to him and EVERYONE that I stuck to JUST meat and veggies for vittles this cook out alright?! My cookout meal was a burger patty, a sausage, some try-colored bell peppers and humus. SO YEAH, I had a few midweek beers alright?! SUE ME!

I also need to shout out at the top to the Jackies, Sater, Summer James, Adam, and the Loveliest Liz AGAIN! Cause we went to Dinner Diner after the Friday night Man Called Noon show where I ate a slinger and 7/8ths of a double bacon cheeseburger. It WAS after midnight though, so... FUCK IT, it counts as Cheat Day.

I awoke Cheat Day morn' knowing I had a fairly busy day ahead of me. I had to go to my final Annoyance class with Ryan A., I then had an audition across town for the Plagiarists next theatrical season, THEN I had to walk Rob Face and Erin "Sandra Bullock" C.'s lil' baby pup Barkley. Quite a busy Cheat Day...a little TOO busy for my taste, but I went on my way. For first bites I went back to the Budlong with the Lovely Liz and friends Jaq Attack and Drew "You Simply Must" J. for a lil'fried Chicken brunch. If you're a fan of the blog you know the Budlong, a fantastic little Nashville Hot style fried chicken joint with multiple Chicago locations. Our local one is in Lincoln Square and it is delightful.  I ordered the Hot tenders, a side of mac and cheese, and a cheerwine. A solid meal to start a cheat day for sure...BUT THEN!

Barkley

I went to class and I was expecting a quick lunch with teacher and friend Ryan A. but it had to be postponed. So, instead I got a black iced coffee from Starbucks (A Non-Cheat Day treat) and went to my audition early. I CRUSHED the audition thanks to Liz's and Ryan's help and then went over to Hambone and Summer James' crib (aka The Sing What You Say Place) which was close by the audition AS WELL AS the sweet puppy Barkley whom I'd have to be walking soon. I was met with a PBR (a delightful cheat-y beverage) and we began talking about what we'd be eating for Cheat Day Dinner! You see people love being around on Cheat Day because they get to go on a fantastical Cheat Day adventure with yours truly, so we began to plan.

We decided it'd be good to hit the beach for a bit before the dog walk and before it got dark. So Hambone slid me a special brownie (A delightful Cheat Treat) and assured me it wouldn't launch me to far out there maaaan. So we also rounded up some vodka and some vitamin waters (A Non-Cheat Day Treat...) went to the beach, threw around a frisbee, ran into some good ol'friends (shout out Tommy C. and Sophie B.!) then drank some vodka drinks. I went to walk the dog and the plan was to reconvene at The Sing What You Say Place and get SERIOUS about CHEATING on something new for your sweet eyeballs to take in and your bellies to YERN for!...but then...

Steve Leme in Beerfest

The edible started hitting me REAL good, really not too much, honestly just right. I was feeling social and good and happy and ready to EAT! I got back to The Sing What You Say Place to figure it out and Summer James DEMANDED that we all take what he called a "Bloody Skull." I first learned of something similar to this in the movie "Beerfest" in which they call it a "strikeout." Summer James' version simply was to take a hit out of a bowl (inhale only) and then we would each take a shot of whiskey (cheat day treat) then exhale the hit. "Sure why not!" I said! "CHEAT DAY!" we Cheered!

From that moment on I was no longer the Zach you all know and love. I was indeed out of this world. I was giggly and squirmy and paranoid, I could NOT organize my thoughts properly nor did I have the ability to rally a bunch of drunk and high people to go get some delicious Cheat Day fare from a place we'd never been before!

THEN, out of nowhere! A young family shows up to the Sing What You Say Place...with CHILDREN ages 2 and 5. Now, I bet some of you read this and probably think to yourselves, "geez Zach I'm not sure you should be around children completely sober even!" And first of all FUCK YOU, but you aren't wrong, I've got a mouth on me and not much of a filter, but I am also surprisingly good with kids so take that opinion and shove it!

That being said, I really didn't have any business being around kids in this case. I was gone! I was drunk off vodka and a shot of whiskey and high off of a brownie and a solid hit from a bowl that had me coughing hard when a shot divided what should be a normal inhale/exhale. On top of that I was HANGRY as a mother fucker because all I had on Cheat Day so far was 3 chicken tenders, Texas Toast, half a thing of Mac and Cheese, and a pot brownie.

"WOW Zach, I'm sure you were FUCKED! What'd you do?!"

I hid...I hid in Summer James' bathroom until the family was gone. When I emerged Summer James pointed out that I had no business going out in public to eat if I had to hide from children...so...we ordered Jet's Pizza...so...sorry not sorry. ALWAYS JET'S! We got two larges for four people. One was chicken bacon mushroom green pepper on Cajun Crust (delightful) and one was pineapple jalapeno and pepperoni on TURBO CRUST. WOOO! If you haven't had Jet's yet, you're fucking up!

After I ate I was feeling much better and I had an early morning the next day so I had to head home. On my way home I stopped at Lindo Guadalajara to get a plate of chorizo nachos to-go that I split with the loveliest Liz when I got home. So I made up some lost Cheat Day ground that way.

WOOO! What a wild one, right everyone?! I guess my Cheat Day this time was more party based than new food based! I'm glad everyone is okay though. I want to hand it to Summer James, Hambone and the previously unmentioned Santiago for taking care of me! Just like I tell all of you each week. Take care of each other! Take care of yourselves. Eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach

Dinner Diner is BACK!

Hey Cheaters. Not great news...

Me After a Slinger and a Surprise OTHER Meal

"What the fuck dude! How do you start an entry like that?! Get it together!"

Sorry...I'm such a piece of SHIT I know. I can't write blogs, I can't pound nasty food, I can't drink hard, and I can't GOD DAMN diet!

"Alright man! Jeez! Don't be so hard on yourself."

Sorry guys, I'm sorry! Sometimes I drink and eat too much during the week. I gained only 2 pounds this week but for god's sake I want my goal to GET ACHIEVED! Here's what happened people, here's why I am coming down on myself HARD!

"GROSS!"

COMING down on myself hard not GOING down on myself hard, get your head out of the gutter! Anyway, I was good on the diet Monday and Tuesday. I was even off early Tuesday with time to sleep in WEDNESDAY and I felt like I maintained! Let's talk turkey and pork. This week was cook out week, OKAY. I ended up at one Tuesday night and I ate olives and hot dogs with no buns and dipped 'em in mustard, so I was GOOD there but then I drank a bunch of beers and liquor drinks...soooo fuck!

Hotties at the Cookout!

Yes that IS Italian Beef on the Burger

On Wednesday it was fuggin' the 4th, okay. The greatest holiday this country has to offer! So you KNOW I threw back several beers, some DELICIOUS jalapeno popper dip (Thanks Drew and Jacquelyne), and some Chicago mix popcorn from Mariano's. But still I thought I did okay because everything else I ate was fruit, eggs, bacon, sausages, and hot dogs. But then, thanks to the lovely holiday in the middle of the week I had a short/non-existent work week which would normally help keep this diet on track. I took off Thursday to recuperate which turned into a touch of hair of the dog, nawsay? Plus a post movie stop at Slim's in Ravenswood for a "Slim's" burger and chili-cheese fries (Side note, the Slim's burger at Slim's might be my favorite burger in town and I will feature it on a future Cheat Day. Don't Care. post). Then Friday I knocked back a few with my coworker, Leslie, after work and then, like a siren goddess, Liz called me to Dinner Diner as it had just opened the morning prior!

"NOW we're getting to the good stuff!"

FUCK YEAH homie! Dinner Diner is back and it's still the TITS. I went and I COULD HAVE stayed on diet. I COULD have ordered steak and eggs, no hash browns. I COULD have ordered a veggie omelet but Dinner Diner has been closed for over a year and a half, so I went in hard on my first go-round and ordered the BEST thing on the menu: the double bacon cheeseburger with a side of hash browns instead of fries. Cheat Week continues!

I woke up Saturday morning and thought maybe I shouldn't cheat or maybe just do like a cheat breakfast type thing cause of all the boozing and the Slimsing and the Dinner Dinering and what not. Then, the siren goddess sang once more: Let's get donuts! BOOM, that sprang me out of bed and on our way to a Dunkin in the Western Brown Line station cause it is near a delightful park where we sat and ate. After the donuts and the chilling we went and did a Chooch Chat episode and I still had a half a mind to take it easy on Cheat Day and it was kind of panning out.

After the podcast and before HITTIN' the BEACH, Man Called Tony and I knocked back about 3 left over hot dogs each...SURPRISE CHEAT! They were CHEESE FILLED bitches and I put one in a bun! NOM NOM NOM NOM CHEAT DAY! The beach was a blast. We spent about an hour in the water playing like kids then another hour+ in the sand playing like kids...we're still kids.

I have a Cheat Day secret that NO ONE knows but me. The plan was to go home and rinse off after the beach, then Tony and I were supposed to hit up Dinner Diner again and THEN go to an epic cook out at funny man Rob Wilson's apartment. All of this DID happen mind you, but what NO ONE knows is that on my way home from the beach to rinse off I stopped a Byron's Hot Dogs on Lawrence to snag me an Italian Beef sammy, fries AND a fucking Pizza Puff.

"YOU FAT SACK OF CHEATIN' ASS!"

The Slinger in ALL IT'S GLORY

I thought you'd like that one! Then I got my ass back down to Dinner Diner and ordered up a Slinger. BANG-BANG BABY! Afterwards, feeling obscenely full and lethargic as what was turning out to be yet another EPIC Cheat Day started to reach it's final act, Man Called Tony and I slow rolled to Mr. Wilson's cook out, but neither of us could eat anything even though his spread was intense. We were both, in fact, worried about being party poopers (Man Called Tony did it! I avoided it). But, Alex Romero, we did strap on our drinking bag. I crushed probably about 4 bourbon drinks: Beam and ginger, JACK and ginger (compliments of James Manno's heavy pouring hand), Jack on the rocks, and 4 Roses on the rocks. I also took down 4 beers, TWO of which I slammed while waiting for Mike Hamilton to snag a rib on his way out the door. Hamilton was VERY impressed, you should ask him about it!

After that we went back to the G's to watch Semi-Pro, hands down the best Will Ferrell movie ever made. There was more drinking. I probably had one more glass of whiskey (and some water to help balance me out). So it looks like I am going to need to put in some WORK this week. Believe in me? I believe in you! I believe you'll take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. And eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach Finch

Here's a picture of Sater eating an Ice Cream Sandwich in the Spirit of Cheat Day!