"Spoken" for by a "Big and Little" Keg Party this Cheat Day!

Happy America week you fuckin' cheatin' ass cheater eaters!

"WOAH HO HO DUDE! Comin' on REAL strong this week, don't ya think?"

HEY! If you don't like it this is gonna be a LONG post for you sexy cheats, beCAUSE this week for Cheat Day, I went to a KEG PARTY!!!! WOOOOO! Thanks Alex Romero and Andrew Campbell of Make It Up Media fame for getting me out to a Keg Party benefit jawn called Lemon Jeese to benefit PAWS Chicago, an Animal Rights org! BUT, I'm getting ahead of myself. Don't praise me for my selfless act of saving countless animals' lives one beer at a time just yet, because I've got some Cheat Day debauchery to report.

I awoke a little late because I had a REAL late night the night before (if you want to know more about that you're going to have to PM me) but I weighed in at my lowest weight yet, 243lbs! Which felt real good after I gained a little weight back from those vacations I was going on. Liz and I slowly and groggily got ourselves together and headed down to the local and lovely bagel cafe, Spoken, where I get...wait for it...a vegetarian sandwich!

"Did you just say vegetarian mawkfler?"

Liz's Sammy (also good)

YEAH man, chill. It was god damn delicious and it came on a PIZZA BIALY! The sandwich is called the Caldera, named after what it will leave after it is eaten. (Look it up and you might laugh). The sandwich has provolone, artichoke hearts, kalmata olives, and basil pesto. I also think I need to mention PIZZA BIALY again! I had to look up what a bialy was, it's a certain kind of flat-ish bagel and when there's pizza on a bagel it doesn't fucking matter whether or not there's meat it's gonna be fucking TASTY! Go get one, I dare you! Besides, I can eat meat any day of the week.

I then had to go to improv where I didn't eat anything so...MOVING ON! When I got out I went to record an episode of Chooch Chat with Anthony Giamichael, Mike Hamilton, and Mike Sater. It was mostly about the world cup. Also, before and during the podcast I ate peanut butter stuffed pretzel bites, golden berries, a delicious soft cheese atop cut bell peppers, vodka lemonade drinks, and of course BEERS (my old favorite Miller High Life to be exact).

I then went to my NEW SPOT OF THE WEEK to meet Liz for a Linner meal between her performances of Buddy-The Buddy Holly Story at Stage 773. The spot? Big and Little's on Belmont. Big and Little's is known for their fish tacos and has developed into a small chain over the last few years. They are a very popular dinner food spot in the city and they certainly do good everything.

I got the Al Pastor burger. Why?! Because you NUMBSKULLS they put FRIED pork belly up on that! Did you forget that I'm talkin' bout MAWfcklin' CHEAT DAY!? GOD. They also got American Swiss (the blondest of all the cheeses), pickled jalapeno, GRILLED PINEAPPLE, and "special sauce" (which I'm still convinced could be orange jizz). I also got me some cajun fries which are always a nice touch.

I'm gonna be honest with you here folks, this burger was easily the best item I have eaten off of the Big and Little's menu. I have been underwhelmed by them in the past. Granted, I'm not a fish or fish taco type of guy, though I AM a taco kind of guy so I think I'm just going to have to taco it up there in the future to continue to delve into what supposedly makes them so well liked on the north side.

From there I went to the Lemon Jeese keg party! It's for a good cause and I think the guys throwing it are fantastic. I ended up drinking cans of PBR and Modelo because the keg was a IPA and it was a little warm (amateurs). But it was nice, it was fun. I played a game of beer pong and shot gunned a beer with my boy Alex. Beer is great! Drinking is fun! Let's get drunk again NEXT Cheat Day.

Beer of the week

As the sun was setting and the party was coming to a close it was time to transition from Cheat Day into Cheat Night! I headed for an impromptu game night with the Giamichael's where I drank more Modelo, ate halves of leftover burritos from god only knows where!, and very quickly lost $5 in a game of 99. Want to know what it is? Come over and we'll take some of your money showing it to you!

Did I forget to mention...?

After that stop my friend Mike Sater and I grabbed more Miller High Lifes from the store and I ordered a late night end of Cheat Day Jet's pizza with jalapeno and pineapple with TURBO CRUST, DUH! Always Turbo Crust! And it seemed like it was a jalapeno and pineapple kind of day I reckon! Happy Summer!

It was a long wander of a cheat day where I bounced around all over the north side finding drinks and bad food to crush! It's a wonderful day of the week to be spending with friends and trying any thing and everything, especially when you've lost 7 pounds from the week before! This week is gonna be tough with Independence Day splitting it up, but I am hopeful! Maybe I'll amp up the working out! Send good vibes ya'll and let me know what you'd like to see me try NEXT Cheat Day! Take care of yourselves! Take care of each other. Eat like your life depended on it.

ELE,
Zach

Green Paint Clean Taint! CHEAT DAY!

What Up! You Chooch-tastic Cheaters! Welcome to the Cheat Day Blog! I ruined it guys! I cheated when it wasn't Cheat Day and I paid the fucking price. I weighed in at right where I started, 262.4. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?! I'm COMING CLEAN! I blame the alcohol. THAT'S RIGHT! There were a couple of instances where I drank booze.

Pinnacle Vodka

Now, although vodka has no sugars or carbs it also has no nutritional VALUE either...I KNOW it sucks GOD DAMMIT! It's not so much that it negatively affects my weight it is more that it affects my energy and decision making. Being sober for 2 and a half weeks in February gave me SO MUCH extra energy and made it so I got a lot more done physically and dutifully.

Also, two of the nights I was knockin' em back I went and drank some beer! Now THAT'S a huge god damn No-No on this diet. Basically any carbs or sugars during the week throws off the whole god damn Cheat Day. And when you cheat as HARD and as FAT as I did last cheat day that makes you gain all your friggin' weight back! DICKS! THIS SUCKS! Especially when you are trying so GOD DAMN hard otherwise. So this week I ain't drinking AT.ALL. so SUCK ON THAT! Next Cheat Day being St. Patrick's Day, I think this make a whole FAT TIT of sense!

"Hey Zach, stop crying and tell us what you ate this cheat day! We're all dying to know!" HEY! TAKE IT EASY! WE'RE THERE!

Alright, I was down after that weigh in but I did NOT let that stop me. I woke up, and what did I do?!

"ate Taco Be-"

USA Today

THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT, ATE TACO BELL! HAHAHA NO, I didn't GO to Taco Bell, so chill. The night before Cheat Day Liz, friend Time Brickey, and I went to Taco Bello (Taco Bell in Italian) and I didn't eat a FUCKING THING, so THERE! (See what kind of effort I'm putting in here!). Liz got an order of naked chicken chips with nacho cheese and some sort of tangy ranch. She couldn't finish them all so I saved them, woke up and polished them bad boys off! The only other thing I had in the house that was cheat day worthy was an Outshine Bar. ATE IT and I headed off to my local-joint of the week.

Spoken Cafe

Now, I've been to Spoken several times. It's a local, and way better than Starbucks, coffee spot right off the Montrose Brown Line stop. So I knew I was going to get quality. When I know I am going to write about a place it makes me really over analyze it. In this case it effected Spoke negatively, so take all the negatives with a grain of salt. And here they are, its slow and expensive. It's slow because it's busy and it's expensive because it is quality.

Cheat Day morning it was packed and service was a little slow, but I got a coffee and a FUCKING DONUT (fine for a donut) to enjoy while I waited for my TWO breakfast sandwiches. The staff let some orders lap me and in made me a little sour so I took into account the amount of money a bagel sandwich costs ($8 not including tax), and it got me a little angry. NO I didn't complain and make the cafe employee's lives a little more sad, THAT would be mean! Instead I snagged my bagel-wiches and headed home. BUT, they cost so much cause the ingredients are CHOICE!

Sandwich 1: All Day Breakfast Sandwich: Egg, Bacon, Cheddar on a buttered Everything Bagel. So simple, so delicious and the ingredients are fresh and quality.

All Day Bfast Sandy

Sandwich 2: Senora Huerta: Ham, Provolone, Red Onion, Red Pepper Pesto, Pickled Banana Peppers on a Pizza Bialy! YUM-UH-DUMDUM

Over-All Spoken is a quality cafe with quality coffee and excellent food items. I give it 4 out of 5 "point-and-pumps"!

After shoving those big meaty bad boys down my fat face I had a podcast to do. That's right, CHOOCH CHAT! Check it out at the link! I had a great chat with Anthony Giamichael, Michael Hamilton, and Yousof Sultani! During the whole thing I was swigging on some Maker's Mark, a delectable bourbon!

Makerr's Mark

dominoes.com

brandeating.com

When I returned home, to help my lady love paint the apartment, she had Domino's waiting for me! Domino's is cheap but it's pizza. Our favorite, thanks to Tyler Walker, is pineapple and jalapeno. She also got an order of bacon and jalapeno cheesy garlic bread. I FUCKING LOVE DAT SHIT!

Henning's Cheese Curds

Tostitos

Before I started painting I ran to Mariano's to pick up some Tostitos scoops with which I scooped up some buffalo flavored chicken salad. I also stuffed those scoops with Hening's Wisconsin Cajun Cheese Curds. I know, I KNOW my east coast audience: "cheese CURD?! That sounds disgusting!" It's NOT. It's fucking delicious. I ate some of them raw and the rest I stuffed them into dem scoops and made little curd nachos. FUCKING delicious! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED Finally, I got an 8 pack of Guinness, so I would hopefully avoid booze this week, and I finished about 5 of them bad boys. After all that I straight up PASSED OUT. What do you think? Not quite as bad a Cheat Day right? I mean! 0 trips to Taco Bell as opposed to TWO different trips?! Not too bad at all! ONWARD AND UPWARD! 200 LBS HERE I COME!

Buffalo Chix Salad

Guiness

              

And remember, take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and eat like your life depended on it.



ELE,
Zach Finch