Budlong Budstrong

Greetings from Cheat Town you Cheatin' SOBs! I'm BACK in Chicago! This fat sack of shit gained weight over the course of the last two Cheat "Days" because I was cheating for multiple god damn days each god damn week. I weighed back in at 250 lbs and YOU KNOW how I HATE that number. I never want to be that again GOD DAMMIT! SO, I'm back at it hard and strong THIS week.

"Hey IDIOT! Does that mean you didn't cheat very hard this weekend? Cause if SO I'm gonna stop reading RIGHT NOW!"

CRAM IT WITH WALNUTS UGLY! I Cheated just fine! Although I was back in Chi-town this Cheat Day was quite unique as I woke up on Tony Giamichael's (of Man Called Noon fame!) couch hung THE FUCK over. I awoke around 10:30AM in a daze, unsure of where I was. A dog named Danny jumped on me and tried to force me to pet him. I shook him off and slowly pried myself away from the couch. Moments later I was staring into the refrigerator using the door to help prop me up.

There wasn't much in there that was Cheat Day worthy except watermelon, but that shit hit the spot I tell you what! It definitely helped curb my initial hangover symptoms. I polished off about 5 or 6 chunks of watermelon before I had to head to my improv class at The Annoyance Theatre.

I decided to walk the 30 minutes to The Annoyance to clear my head and think of a quick place to stop and get some serious cheat food. My hungover brain struggled to remember what was between me and the theatre. But then about 15 minutes in it hit me like an alien erupting from my gut...the Wrigleyville Taco Bell was between me and the theatre. The only question I had next was: would I make it in time for breakfast?

NO. I. WOULDN'T! FUCK, oh well. You know I'm still down for Taco Bell of any kind at any time. GIMME DAT. I got a cheesy gordita crunch with a Dorito taco, cause it's that BEST alright?! How many fuggin' times do I have to say it! I also got me a cheesy bean and rice burrito and a 5 layer burrito cause I'm trying to pinch pennies MAWfckler! Then off I went to class, STILL hungover, but happy full!

Carr Valley Cheese

After class I went home and ate some delicious cheese that Liz and I brought back from Wisconsin. It was cheddar...cheddar's better. I love cheese.

Then the same Tony from before came over with a bunch of Coronas and we drank some of those before heading off to this week's JOINT OF THE WEEK: The Budlong in Lincoln Square! The Budlong is a Nashville style fried chicken joint. You know, those southern themed places that seem to be popping up all over the place?

"Yeah dingus, we KNOW, how was THIS one?!"

hey HEY! It was great! Maybe the best one. The location in Lincoln Square is chill. Tony pointed out that it has an old fashioned wooden door with a knob, it's not a sterile glass push door like most business have these days. It feels homie, like a local country spot you kind of stumble in to on a road trip through the sticks. The service was exquisite. The staff was friendly and helpful and our food was ready PRONTO.

We each ordered the tenders. You get three giant ass chicken tenders seasoned in a level of hotness to your discretion. The scale goes from "naked" (sexy) to X-Hot (SEXIER). I didn't want to ruin the rest of Cheat Day with some sort of spice related stomach issue so I stuck with the Hot. Tony and I agreed that if you ENJOY spicy but aren't necessarily the bravest of spice fans that hot is the way to go. It's not knock you on your ass hot but it will get you sweating a little bit. I felt the pressure behind my eyeballs for instance, but my mouth was never fully on fire.

The tenders also comes with a piece of Texas toast. Here's a pro-tip for you: If you are considering getting a sandwich...don't. It's more expensive and you can just wrap one of your tenders in a BIG ASSED piece of Texas toast and making allowing you to turn one tender into a taco shaped sandwich.

Liz and Al (of Liz and the Lovelies fame) were playing the Blue Jean Gala for Old Town School of Folk Music in Lincoln Square as well. They were posted up outside of a Sushi joint, called Miku Sushi, which was offering up a buffet of sushi for the event. DID I PARTAKE you say?! What THE FUCK do you think?! It's CHEAT DAY idn't it?! I had three or four pieces of sushi, a few fried spring roll type things, some beef and chicken skewers with some DELICIOUS sauce, and a Sapporo beer.

The rest of the Cheat Day consisted of drinking heavily cause good Ol'James Manno threw a small party to make some of his friends feel better. So, naturally there were a lot of drinks. I drank 6 High Life tallboys, 2 or 3 PBRs, and 3 shots of Jack...and to be honest probably even more than that...but after so many you start to get a little fuzzy on what it was you drank.

I got to hang out with an old friend I haven't seen in a while so it seemed fitting. To her it was like stepping back into college because so many of us knew each other from those days and it sounds like where she lives she doesn't get to see that many people from back in the day. It was fun...and necessary.

So, if some of you were disappointed by how much I drank last week I hope that this makes up for it. Because, what ended up happening is I crashed on James MANNO'S couch Saturday night. That's right...2 couch crashes as the bread on a Cheat Day sandwich. Needless to say I need a rest. There was a lot of taking care of each other this weekend, which is SO good. I love to see it and I am happy to help when I can for almost all of you! But let's not forget...take care of yourselves. YES take care of each other. And eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach

Record Store (CHEAT) Day

Good Afternoon my cheating friends, family, and random other reader swho are here to get gluttonous! My weight is in a dead heat with my efforts! I remain at 259.9 lbs. A TUB! A FAT LARD AM I!!! A POX on this old age I suddenly find myself in. A man roaring toward middle age with the look of a man who is far beyond such! It is a fate I battle with every now and then as I am sure many of my readers do...(the AGE thing more than the WEIGHT thing) but whatever, we're all not 100% on SOMETHING about ourselves!

"SHUT UP YOU SAD SACK AND TELL US ALL THAT YOU ATE!"

Hey, HEY! FUCK YOU! But okay! It was a fine Cheat Day. A Cheat Day of bouncing around from bad local spot to bad local spot. Again I awoke ill equipped for Cheat Day in my apartment. All I had in the house that was cheat worthy was about a half a bag of pretzels. So I cracked those open and I started dipping them into the hummus in the house. A fine snack to start the day TBH. Shortly after that Liz and I took off to meet with the rest of the Lovelies for a pre-Record Store Day practice.

Upon arriving to fellow Lovelies', Al and Mike's, apartment we were met with omelets. "OMELETS?! That ain't no CHEAT FOOD Mawfker!" OKAY OKAY, take it easy! You're right. But there was some dank ass mawfuggin' ' chee ALL up in that omelet sooooo...THAT COUNTS! Also, let me describe the rest of this thing for you: jalapeño stuffed olives, capers, and salmon! COME GET SOME! That MFer is almost non-cheat day worthy if it weren't for the cheese. BUT THAT'S WHY I ASKED FOR EXTRA CHEESE! AND it was delicious!

When we got to the venue, RPM Music on Irving Park, I grabbed a chocolate covered donut from the snack table. ALWAYS a good Cheat Day idea. I then walked to CVS for a few items and picked myself up a 32 ounce Corona to drink while we played. You KNOW you gotta have some beer on Cheat Day. I then stopped by what I had HOPED would be my review for the week but it ain't happening in full and here's why. STEINGOLD'S JEWISH DELI. I popped in to try and grab me a bagel and maybe even a Ruben, who knows? CHEAT DAY. But the line was long and we were about to go on so I turn my gaze from the overhead menu to the hot box on the counter. EUREKA! A quick to-go bite. I ask for one and the cashier says, "I'll give you that for free if that's what you want, it's been sitting in there a long time."

To which I reply with a blush and a titter, "REALLY?! You'd do that for me?! hehe!"

"Uuuh, Yeah, why not" He replies.

"Great THANKS! I've gotta run! I'm playing that record store across the street, I'll be back for a Reuben later BIG BOY!" But when we were done playing at like 3:15 the mother fucker was CLOSED! On a fucking SATURDAY. CHEAT DAY?!!! The fuq?! That's okay, I ate the bagel breakfast sandwich and the cashier was right to give it to me, it was sub par at best so I will not make my local review Steingold's this week.

Chorizo Tacos and Delicious Salsas

After dropping our gear off at home I headed back down to the record store area to try and catch my friends' band play, but I missed them. Instead I went to an old favorite, Fast Super Burrito! I have spoken of this place in the past. I used to live directly across from them. BUT, because I have not eaten there since my triumphant return to cheat day I will regale you with a tale of Fast Super Burrito here and now.

I bust in the door, ready to eat! The place is more dead than Barbara Bush (too soon? RIP) and the two working the joint recognize me immediately despite the fact I am essentially "Guy Incognito" with my handlebar mustache, slicked back hair, aviators and denim jacket. They say, "It's been a while, how have you been?"

And I say, "I'm alright. I'd be a lot better with 2 chicken quesadillas and 2 chorizo tacos in front of my face."

"You got it weirdo"

"Thanks! How've you guys been?"

"Not bad, we have Taco Tuesday and Taco Thursday now"

"Taco Tuesday AND Thursday?!" I scoff! I scoff because if you are desperate enough to have two taco days each week "Not bad" is a bold faced lie to the question "How've you been?" With that being said, do yourselves a favor and hit up Fast Super Burrito on Irving Park for some $1 tacos on Tuesday and Thursday. It is Fast. It IS Super. It's Burrito...or in this case taco.

Then I wanted more beer. But my buddy James Manny had another idea. PIZZA. "What did I do?" you ask. Well, I'll tell you what I didn't do, how about that. I DIDN'T say. "Nah, man I can't have pizza right now I just ate Fast Super Burrito." So to Tortorice's we went. A place I have only had delivered before and I have always liked alright. Upon entering the take out restaurant James has one very plain and simple question for the guy. "Can you cut this pizza into SLICES rather than squares?"

And the kid behind the counter say, "Sure, if you want."

"We do want." Says James who then orders a small pepperoni to split with me. We get the mother fuck and what do you know? SQUARES! Pieces of shit! James throws a fit all over the dumbass working the register while I eat more than my fair share of the pizza. Gotta LOVE IT! James is right though, slices are superior than squares. It allows for each piece of pizza the ability to run the gamut of pizza pie consistency: from soggy and droopy to first and dry, making each bite of the slice a new adventure!

Finally we get to Laschet's where we eventually end the night. You know it, you love it: Laschett's! It was packed but I finally got me a liter of Stiegl Gold and was loving every second of it from then on out. When we finally got a table I ordered a GIANT pretzel all to myself. Their German food is the best I've had by far and I highly recommend getting there to eat some time and not just drown yourself in liters of Stiegl, LIKE ME!

I feel like I'm back on track. I feel better again. I feel healthier and slimmer, regardless of what the scale tells me. I just can't allow myself to slip up during the week. I discovered that most lunch meat contains sugar, which was a major reality check to me, but fuck it! I'll find something else to eat during the week! Thank you everyone for having fun with me on Cheat Days and Non. Let's fucking do this! Take care of each other. Take care of yourselves. And eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach

Propagandhi Crushes And So Does Cheat Day!

WHADDUP YA CHEATIN' SISSY MARYS! Zach here, losing weight and takin' names! I weighed in at 257.8 pounds this Saturday morning and I'm feelin' pretty alright about it. This ain't a sprint I guess, it's more of a marathon I reckon. I will begin to try new tactics: more exercise and less of the fattier foods if the weight loss stays this slow. But you know what I'm not doing, is layin' off of CHEAT fuggin' DAY. My weigh in means that since the first weigh in I have lost 5 pounds. And I need to lose 57.8 more until I achieve my goal. And 5 pounds a month is NOT going to cut it! Anyway, that's not what ya'll are here for!

Chipotle

YOU are here to learn how to cheat day! But ya know, I've been thinking. If any of ya'll are interested in the diet I want to first give you one huge hint. If you have to eat out, which you will: go to Chipotle. I know, I know...e coli. WELL RISK IT! What you do, on non-cheat days that is, go in you get a SALAD. NOT a bowl you fat tub of horse shit! Get the SALAD, tell those fucking college kids NO RICE fuck wads! BEANS, and fuckin' LOTS OF EM. Yes throw some DElicious fajita veggies on there. "WHAT KINDA MEAT?!" DEALER'S CHOICE DIARRHEA PEDDLER! Ya know what?! Make it DOUBLE! Every fucking salsa you got. Don't even THINK about touching corn, cheese, or sour cream! But you better DUMP on that GUAC. Then throw a little extra lettuce on top, I'm losing weight over here! It's delicious and it works for slow carb. It's honestly one of the best things you can get out on the diet that I have discovered so far. Know of anything else from anywhere else?! GET AT ME!

Jack's Pizza

Now lets get to cheat day M-Fers! I woke up early-ish, around 8:30, as my lovely and talented girlfriend had to go teach. I needed to get up anyway because I had to get my ass to an audition. WHICH I NAILED, not that you care. But before I did I had to get my CHEAT ON. After my weigh in I went straight to the freezer and popped about 4 thin mints. On may way out of the freezer I grabbed a watermelon outshine bar (YES, totally not allowed on the slow carb diet! BS I KNOW). I then made an entire frozen pizza (Jack's) and ate the whole thing. Let's face it, those Jack's frozen pizzas are a single serving anyway. Now, having abstained from carbs for a while this combination did a pretty rough number on my gut. But, I have a job to do dammit. I got to my audition crushed and then afterwords I realized something...

I had left my tickets to the Propagandhi show, which was THAT night, at my god damn office, which is down-fucking-town, YUCK. But then, a giant light bulb went off in my mind on my commute to my office to retrieve the tickets. They just opened a god DAMN TACO BELL close to my office. Well, it was still breakfast time, and I don't get to Taco Bells for breakfast a lot, and it's actually pretty good. Look, it's no REGULAR TACO BELL, BUT, it's the shit as far as major chain breakfast goes. Have you HAD a breakfast crunch wrap or a breakfast quesadilla?! They are big FAT ASS TITTIES, I'll tell you that much! GO GET ONE. Going on a road trip? Get a Bfast Crunchwrap! FUCK McDs DOUBLE FUCK B. King. Hit up your local Bell.

ALL BUSINESS!

I snagged my tickets from my office and headed back home. Now, let me take a minute to acknowledge that I get home around noon. Which means between the hours of about 9AM and Noon I eat girl scout cookies, 2 Outshine Bars, an entire frozen pizza, 1 breakfast crunchwrap, 1 breakfast burrito, and 1 breakfast quesadilla. That's gluttony folks. But, HEY, that's cheat day.

So, moving forward, Liz got home from her teachings! And she was HUNGRY. SO, ya know what I said? CHAT DAY DON'T CARE! That's RIGHT! And we took our asses on down to FORK in Lincoln Square. Neither of us had been before and it was a place that we passed often when it was jam packed with people. So, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to try it.

Fork's Logo

I can't leave out the fact that she brought me haves of cookies that she got from a fancy cookie place, I forget what it was called. If you want to know leave a comment and I'll find out for you. BUT I ate them on the walk to Fork. One was s'mores flavored (delicious but I didn't quite get s'mores) and one was Mexican hot chocolate flavored (delicious AND tasted JUST like hot chocolate). YUM-A-DUM DUM!

Pretzel Bites and a small bit of cheese

Fork has a high end diner vibe. It's pretty quality. The ambiance is nice, the bar is expansive and well stocked, and the menu is quality and medium to pricey. Because I was not that hungry I ordered...pretzel bites with beer cheese...yes I know it IS what I ordered from Eris last week, but hear me out! I like to compare dishes I love! SO FUCK YOU! They were good, ALMOST as good as the Eris beer cheese, HOWEVER, the Eris beer cheese gave you an appropriate amount of cheese. The cheese that came with Fork's pretzel bites was minimal, though the pretzels were better, so...ya know!

Hangover Helper

LIZ on the other had ordered the "hangover helper" which was fancy biscuits and gray. She also made a bold move and replaced the bacon that was on it with candied pecan bacon! UGH, god it was delicious. Biscuits and gravy is always delicious. It's one of my favorite dishes, but it's hard to get biscuits in gravy in Chicago as good as you can get it in the south. Over all Fork was delicious but pricey. The location/service/atmosphere is laid back and nice.

After that I didn't need shit else for a while! Though between the time we got back from our lovely outing and our separate shows we were to go to I did have another Outshine Bar, a couple more cookies, and some chips. I met my good friend Andrew Donnelly at the G-Man Tavern next to the Metro where the Propagandhi show was to be. I hadn't been drinking, but this weekend I broke it. I went ahead and ordered myself a bourbon on the rocks as well as a beer and a shot at G-Man (possibly the best jukebox I've ever seen). All of that was very delicious to me as I hadn't had it in a while. Propagandhi fucking SLAUGHTERED! I MUST say this. If you like punk/metal/hardcore do yourself a favor and GET INTO THIS BAND. I had a few more beers at the show. Enough to go back to TACO BELL when it was all over!

Propagndhi

In a nut shell

In Wrigleyville on a Saturday night AROUND midnight. Andrew and I went on over to the Taco Bell to eat some BS and experience the culture. (If you've ever been to the Wrigleyville Taco Bell at night you'll get that joke). I got myself my favorites: Cheesy Gordita Crunch with a Doritos Locos Taco, Chicken Quesadilla, and a Crunchwrap Supreme. Andrew got some stuff too, fuck it I don't remember. We also saw a ton of drunks, the line begin to swell, people walk in and decide they could deal with it, and shitty bros as FAR AS THEY EYE COULD SEE!

I would never say this to anyone in civilized conversation and if you ask me about this in person or digitally I will deny it. BUT, on my way home from Taco Bell, I stopped at 7-Eleven and got some taquitos. I've got a problem people. Which is why Cheat Day is the way for me! Give myself a day to be a glutton and then CUT. THAT. SHIT. OFF! Cheat days going forward will hopefully not be quite as bad as this one if I want to get to 200 by August. Although, MY GOD is it awesome! And BOY is it fun! But I've got to be better. Now take care of yourselves, take care or each other, and EAT LIKE YOUR LIVES DEPEND ON  IT!

ELE,
Zach

Cheat Day is Epic Again!

From the movie "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story"

Cheat day was fat TITTIES this past Saturday cheaters! Now let me tell you 'bout it!

I did the right thing and quite literally had NOTHING to do all day on Saturday. I woke up late (like 10AM these adult ass days), weighed myself real quick and I lost weight! So it's ON LIKE DONKEY KONG! I weighed in at 260.6, which means I lost 3.2 pounds from last week and 2 whole pounds since week one.

www.gsoh.org

Having seen this I went straight for the freezer where Liz was stashing some of them girl scout cookies everyone's been talkin'bout. She bought three boxes for us to crush/share for cheat day. They are always a treat, but here's a hot take for you. Girl Scout cookies are the cookie equivalent to the McRib. They are great and all, but they would sell like shit if they were available all year round, just sayin'. We ate a sleeve out of a full box of Thin Mints and what was left of her Samoas as well as what was left of the new S'mores cookies she purchased earlier in the week. PRO TIP! Microwave them S'mores cookies for a few seconds and them shits get straight POPPIN'!

The cookies did a number on our Slow Carb tum-tums so we lounged about for a while before heading to make our Super Market run for the week. Here's another hot take for you. IF you cheat day people, IF YOU FUCKING CHEAT DAY, it is HIGHLY recommended you go and do your grocery run ON cheat day. Not only will you take care of your weekly groceries, but you will get to pick WHATEVER you want to eat that day. I picked out a donut (chocolate glaze with sprinkles) as well as some nacho fixings so I could make a plate to eat during the Kansas Jayhawks v Texas Tech Red Raiders. CHEAT DAY BONUS: Kansas beat Texas Tech securing their 14th straight conference title, a new NCAA record.

www.kansascity.com

frinkiac.com

After the game I took a very short nap and then Liz and I went to meet our friends Rob and Erin at the new Chicago Cider Mill & Brewery call Eris. This will be my local Chicago review for the day. I believe Eris opened at the beginning of this month and it claims the descriptor "Chicago's first cider house." Now if you are a Cheat Day Don't Care FAN, you know I ain't drinking and you know Cider ain't my drink even if I was, this means our pals Erin and Rob selected this as a destination. Turns out it was a great selection regardless of whether or not you're drinking because the food was delicious. If you are interested in how the cider was, I will give the recommendations of Erin and Rob.

Beer Cheddar Dip

To start we ordered a Savory Popcorn from their bar snacks section and a single order of Beer Cheddar Dip which came with 3 pretzel rods. The Savory Popcorn is not executed as well as it sounds on the menu. However, if I was pounding back ciders I am sure it would be just the right thing to be shoving down my fat face between gulps. What WAS executed perfectly and possibly beyond was that Beer Cheddar Dip. It quite possibly could have been the best cheese sauce/pretzel rod combo I have ever tasted. It was too good, too good and too small a portion for 4 guests. Here's a tip to any restaurant. Give 4 god damn rods. I know, I get it, you want to sell another order and it worked hook line and sinker on our dumb asses! BUT, just give us 4 god damn rods, it's not costing ya'll that much more! ASSHOLES!

Hodag

For our main course Liz and I split The Hodag off of the Hand Held Delights section of the menu. "SPLIT?! You skinny lil'bitch!" Well, look you A-holes, not only were Liz and I stuffed already from earlier, but I was dead set on hitting up one more place on this cheat day (more on this later). The Hodag was basically a gourmet Chicago Dog. It was a bacon-wrapped smoked Polish sausage, grilled french roll, carmelized onions, brown mustard, house pickled vegetables, and cilantro. It came with VERY good fries on the side. Not a bad price either at $13 as it had OBVIOUSLY fresh ingredients.

Rob got The Burger, also off the Hand Held Delights section of the menu. And he tells us, he says, that the burger was DELICIOUS! I believe him. It looks and sounds delicious. The burger comes with Sharp Cheddar (my favy fave), bacon jam, and is on a brioche bun. It was simple and delightful and again fresh ingredients! Erin got herself something off the First Bites list for her entree, the Crispy Duck Tacos, which came as 3 tacos. AGAIN, give 4 you assholes! If we had been sharing them we would have been pissed! The Crispy Duck Tacos included duck leg confit, white corn tortilla, Asian cabbage, vegetable concise, and wasabi creme. She enjoyed those as well.

The Crispy Duck Tacos

The Burger

Over all the food was delicious and fairly priced we thought for how fresh the ingredients were and how inventive, yet simple, the dishes were. Aside from the 1 hour wait!! (Holy hell) the service was top notch as well. As for the cider, Erin got three small pours and I will attempt to remember which she got and which she liked best now. Erin got 5oz pours of Chai Dar (Cider and tea, Unfiltered and fancy), Van Van Mojo (Blueberry cider dry-hopped with Mosaic. Just what the doctor ordered), and Pedestrian (Modern dry cider blended for everyone. Trip, fresh, and pleasantly tart like a glass of Granny Smith). That was easier to remember than I thought. She ranked them:

1. Pedestrian: "Who doesn't like a granny smith"

Ciders

In a close 2nd. Van Van Mojo "The Blueberry is VERY nice and sweet"
And in a DISTANT 3rd. Chai Dar "Bland, the chai tea doesn't cut it for me"

Now, I promised you a bonus section, and if you are affected by my vast social media presence you'll already know what it is...Maw'Fuggin' TACO BELL. For dessert Rob, Erin, Liz and I stopped at Taco Bell on our way home where I got and ate a chicken quesadilla, a crunch wrap supreme, and what I believe is the single best item in all of fast food the cheesy gordita crunch with a doritos locos taco instead of a plain hardshell! Always good! Always cheat-tastic!

@finchzj on Instagram

@finchzj on Instagram

BOOM! DID IT! THAT is how you cheat day! YES I was hurting, NO I do not have regrets! Now lets think of how I'm gonna top that next Cheat Day! Until next time: take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and eat like your life depended on it!






ELE,
Zach Finch

Liz enjoying the Hodag