Don't Want To Walk Around Being Tied To Anyone Else's...Strings Ramen

Good day cheaters and welcome back to CHEAT DAY DON'T CARE! The blog where I tell YOU how I'm going to lose weight and still eat like a GOT DANG MANIAC! WOOOO! This was a doozy of a Cheat Day and I did a lot so let's get right into it.

I woke up hung over, cause I was drinking vodka sodas Friday night with my buds Brian, Rob, and Mike. We had a little too much fun, but SO WORTH IT. I weighed groggily in and the scale said I lost 5 pounds from the week before which means I am WAY back on track and heading hard and fast toward my goal! After the weigh-in I forced my lovely lady out of bed to hit the local breakfast/brunch spot Marmalade, which I've already discussed in this blog a few weeks ago. I NEEDED to eat and fast cause I was pretty hung over and was running on very little food (not a good idea for you drinkers out there).

I accidentally ordered the same exact meal I ordered last time I went there, the fried chicken, biscuits, and gravy. Not the best biscuits and gravy in town but you can't really ever go wrong when you head to biscuits and gravy land. Plus the piece of fried chicken that comes with it is excellent and really jacks it up a notch. Liz ordered way too many pancakes and we also ordered a side of corned beef hash to split. NOTICE: the corned beef hash at marmalade is the best corned beef hash or MAYBE EVEN HASH I have ever had. If you go there for any reason at all, ALSO get a side of corned beef hash and then tell me about it!

After all that I went home and took a much needed nap. It was a nap the likes of which was so necessary that I awoke late for the recording of this week's Chooch Chat podcast! (Go click the link to listen to our latest episodes!) On my way to the podcasting I stopped by a Subway because those wrap commercials FOOLED ME! I got a chipotle southwest steak and cheese wrap. It was so bad it was good. You know how that's a genre of movie? Well that's what subway does with food. Taco Bell is obviously the king of that food category but every now and then Subway puts out a sandwich concoction that fits such a mold and the steak and cheese wrap sticks the landing. Give it a try...if you have to.

I got to the podcast and started slowly knocking back beers, you know for a little hair of the dog. Also, need I remind you, cheat day is the only day I drink beer, so I start early and I go all night. After the cast I met up with Liz, who was on a dinner break, at Strings Ramen on Belmont! This is my new local joint of the week! STRINGS, named after that old, bad Blink 182 song (probably not really but fuck it, look it up and fact check me on it). It was a quality ramen spot and it was indeed chilly enough outside that it was the perfect choice for an early dinner or Linner.

Some of you are prolly all like "Ramen?! like top ramen for 25 cents a packet?!"

No you MORONS, Ramen is super "in" these days. Real, quality, ramen is everywhere go get some.

"Oh, well, so it's over priced hipster food, is that what you're telling us?"

YES! Jesus, okay? It IS overpriced (Just like everything is these days) but it's delicious and done VERY well, so SHOVE IT UP YER BUNGHOLES!

"What'd you order dip shit?"

That's better! I ordered some shrimp dumplings which were the tits. They were just perfect. They were soft and tasty and came in a deliciously zesty sauce. As a main course I order from their house specialty "Hell Ramen." They have 5 spice levels for Hell Ramen. If you finish their level 5 in 20 minutes you win a $50 gift certificate, a T Shirt, and painful sweaty diarrhea for 3 straight days. I did NOT do the challenge.

"PUUUUUSSSSSSSY"

Assholes... because I knew better! It would not have been a good idea for me on this Cheat Day. I wasn't ready for such a challenge at all (hungover, tired, still more cheat day left to go). I got a level 3 and enjoyed it, savored it, like a real human man! Level 3 was even quite spicy, to my surprise and delight. Not holy shit fuck my mouth spicy, but spicy. I can only imagine what 5 would be like. I think I WILL try it some day, but I will work my way to it. Next I will try 4 and then I will move to 5 for the challenge.

The broth was delicious. The pork they used tasted almost like ground Italian sausage they put on pizza which made for a nice fusion-y flavor. The noodles were a tad thin for my liking, hence "Strings." I like a slightly thicker noodle to slurp up and graze my chin in my ramen. Ramen is hard to screw up. Strings might have had my favorite Ramen broth in Chicago, but I like the noodles of a competitor in Wicker Park better. Still, the dumplings were dope and it was a real nice Feng Shui in the restaurant. I give Strings Ramen a full point-and-pump. Go try it.


The next thing I ate was more beer. I knocked back 3 Miller High Life tall boys while watching the Celtics progress to round 2 of the NBA Playoffs. AND THEN the capper. I met up with friends for drinks for one Jackie Alamillo's birthday. Shout out to her! I drank, you guessed it! BEER! I had a few 3 Floyds something or other on tap from Jerry's sandwiches. I can never remember the names of 3 Floyds' beers because they are always pretty complicated. But I drank them, and they were delicious! Some fried cheese curds were ordered and so I popped a couple of those hot melty som-bitches in my face. Someone also ordered some BBQ Chicken Sandwich that they couldn't finish (losers) and I reaped the benefits of their lesser stomachs and ate about a third of that thang. It was awesome! So check out Jerry's in Lincoln Square as well.

We then moved on to a dive bar that was empty and GUESS WHAT YOU GUYS! They had liters of Stiegl and I was a happy camper. I had two more of those and a couple of nasty shots of schnapps. After everyone went home I was left alone with my bike in Lincoln Square and uhoh! when the potential judgers are away the Zach will play as long as it's Cheat mawfuggin DAY! So based on that rule I slow rolled down Lincoln to Taco in a Bag and ordered a "Big Jim Reeves" with extra chorizo gravy up in there. Now, for super late night eats, Taco in a Bag is perfect. I don't think Taco in a Bag is something I have ever reviewed in Cheat Day. Don't Care. so I might want to save a full break down for later. But, in a nut shell it is fancy nachos with different toppings. Some are good, and some are not so good. Big Jim Reeves is excellent.

I got home and passed THE FUCK out. What a cheat day guys. Tip to tail I was cheating like a maniac! That's what happens when the scale says you've lost 5 pounds! Here's to more weight loss this week! I can and will keep it together! Thank you all for believing in me! We got this! I'm gonna be so skinny it's gonna be GROSS! Take care of yourselves! Take care of each other! Eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach

Record Store (CHEAT) Day

Good Afternoon my cheating friends, family, and random other reader swho are here to get gluttonous! My weight is in a dead heat with my efforts! I remain at 259.9 lbs. A TUB! A FAT LARD AM I!!! A POX on this old age I suddenly find myself in. A man roaring toward middle age with the look of a man who is far beyond such! It is a fate I battle with every now and then as I am sure many of my readers do...(the AGE thing more than the WEIGHT thing) but whatever, we're all not 100% on SOMETHING about ourselves!

"SHUT UP YOU SAD SACK AND TELL US ALL THAT YOU ATE!"

Hey, HEY! FUCK YOU! But okay! It was a fine Cheat Day. A Cheat Day of bouncing around from bad local spot to bad local spot. Again I awoke ill equipped for Cheat Day in my apartment. All I had in the house that was cheat worthy was about a half a bag of pretzels. So I cracked those open and I started dipping them into the hummus in the house. A fine snack to start the day TBH. Shortly after that Liz and I took off to meet with the rest of the Lovelies for a pre-Record Store Day practice.

Upon arriving to fellow Lovelies', Al and Mike's, apartment we were met with omelets. "OMELETS?! That ain't no CHEAT FOOD Mawfker!" OKAY OKAY, take it easy! You're right. But there was some dank ass mawfuggin' ' chee ALL up in that omelet sooooo...THAT COUNTS! Also, let me describe the rest of this thing for you: jalapeño stuffed olives, capers, and salmon! COME GET SOME! That MFer is almost non-cheat day worthy if it weren't for the cheese. BUT THAT'S WHY I ASKED FOR EXTRA CHEESE! AND it was delicious!

When we got to the venue, RPM Music on Irving Park, I grabbed a chocolate covered donut from the snack table. ALWAYS a good Cheat Day idea. I then walked to CVS for a few items and picked myself up a 32 ounce Corona to drink while we played. You KNOW you gotta have some beer on Cheat Day. I then stopped by what I had HOPED would be my review for the week but it ain't happening in full and here's why. STEINGOLD'S JEWISH DELI. I popped in to try and grab me a bagel and maybe even a Ruben, who knows? CHEAT DAY. But the line was long and we were about to go on so I turn my gaze from the overhead menu to the hot box on the counter. EUREKA! A quick to-go bite. I ask for one and the cashier says, "I'll give you that for free if that's what you want, it's been sitting in there a long time."

To which I reply with a blush and a titter, "REALLY?! You'd do that for me?! hehe!"

"Uuuh, Yeah, why not" He replies.

"Great THANKS! I've gotta run! I'm playing that record store across the street, I'll be back for a Reuben later BIG BOY!" But when we were done playing at like 3:15 the mother fucker was CLOSED! On a fucking SATURDAY. CHEAT DAY?!!! The fuq?! That's okay, I ate the bagel breakfast sandwich and the cashier was right to give it to me, it was sub par at best so I will not make my local review Steingold's this week.

Chorizo Tacos and Delicious Salsas

After dropping our gear off at home I headed back down to the record store area to try and catch my friends' band play, but I missed them. Instead I went to an old favorite, Fast Super Burrito! I have spoken of this place in the past. I used to live directly across from them. BUT, because I have not eaten there since my triumphant return to cheat day I will regale you with a tale of Fast Super Burrito here and now.

I bust in the door, ready to eat! The place is more dead than Barbara Bush (too soon? RIP) and the two working the joint recognize me immediately despite the fact I am essentially "Guy Incognito" with my handlebar mustache, slicked back hair, aviators and denim jacket. They say, "It's been a while, how have you been?"

And I say, "I'm alright. I'd be a lot better with 2 chicken quesadillas and 2 chorizo tacos in front of my face."

"You got it weirdo"

"Thanks! How've you guys been?"

"Not bad, we have Taco Tuesday and Taco Thursday now"

"Taco Tuesday AND Thursday?!" I scoff! I scoff because if you are desperate enough to have two taco days each week "Not bad" is a bold faced lie to the question "How've you been?" With that being said, do yourselves a favor and hit up Fast Super Burrito on Irving Park for some $1 tacos on Tuesday and Thursday. It is Fast. It IS Super. It's Burrito...or in this case taco.

Then I wanted more beer. But my buddy James Manny had another idea. PIZZA. "What did I do?" you ask. Well, I'll tell you what I didn't do, how about that. I DIDN'T say. "Nah, man I can't have pizza right now I just ate Fast Super Burrito." So to Tortorice's we went. A place I have only had delivered before and I have always liked alright. Upon entering the take out restaurant James has one very plain and simple question for the guy. "Can you cut this pizza into SLICES rather than squares?"

And the kid behind the counter say, "Sure, if you want."

"We do want." Says James who then orders a small pepperoni to split with me. We get the mother fuck and what do you know? SQUARES! Pieces of shit! James throws a fit all over the dumbass working the register while I eat more than my fair share of the pizza. Gotta LOVE IT! James is right though, slices are superior than squares. It allows for each piece of pizza the ability to run the gamut of pizza pie consistency: from soggy and droopy to first and dry, making each bite of the slice a new adventure!

Finally we get to Laschet's where we eventually end the night. You know it, you love it: Laschett's! It was packed but I finally got me a liter of Stiegl Gold and was loving every second of it from then on out. When we finally got a table I ordered a GIANT pretzel all to myself. Their German food is the best I've had by far and I highly recommend getting there to eat some time and not just drown yourself in liters of Stiegl, LIKE ME!

I feel like I'm back on track. I feel better again. I feel healthier and slimmer, regardless of what the scale tells me. I just can't allow myself to slip up during the week. I discovered that most lunch meat contains sugar, which was a major reality check to me, but fuck it! I'll find something else to eat during the week! Thank you everyone for having fun with me on Cheat Days and Non. Let's fucking do this! Take care of each other. Take care of yourselves. And eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach

New Taco Bell, Slim's Double Cheat Day Burger, BEER and Lots of It!

Slim's Double Chee

@brianmfartland

Greeting CHEATERS! and happy Monday to you all! It is I, his cheat-ness! I didn't lose any weight last week, but I'm still not back above 260 lbs so I feel good about everything! I want to tell you how my diet went last week. To start, I biked my fucking DICK off even HARDER last week, biking 30 miles in just one day last week and averaging about 20 miles every other day. Yes thank you, thank you, please hold your applause. That's all well and good, HOWEVER, my biggest accomplishment was when I went to a Cubs game and didn't drink a single beer or eat a single hot dog or nachos or NOTHING.

I want to point out the fact that avid "Cheat Day. Don't Care." reader, Alex Romero (Sup dude?!) saw me at the game and was under the impression that because I was at the game I was knockin' back $10 Budweisers which I assure you was NOT the case. Instead I snuck in 4 of those mini plastic red-wine bottles, Merlot to be exact, and I sucked those down throughout the course of the game. "ZACH! You drank red wine at the game?! You FREAK!"

Sutter Home

I KNOW I KNOW, SHUT UP! It was the best thing I did all week, so stick it up yer ASS!

@brianmfartland

And with this decision comes a PRO TIP! Buy yourself a four pack of mini plastic wines or a small glass flask of spirits to sneak into a ball game rather than pay those RIDICULOUS prices for booze! It'll be well worth it! Oh, also, my buddy Brian Gartland got himself a Ben Zobrist foul ball, so that's pretty cool.

So I made it the whole way through the week without any side cheating. (Slow Clap!) thank you thank you. And I made it to Cheat Day and was a bit disappointed in my weight in and SORELY unprepared for the Cheat Day ahead of me. I woke up Saturday morning to a cold and rainy and dreary day, it was miserable. So I slowly got up and snagged some cheese that Liz keeps in the fridge and ate a little of that. We also had some chips and pretzels left over in the cabinet so I snacked on them suckers for a little while too. I then put on a Simpsons DVD and fell back asleep like some fat nerd.

Taco Bell

Liz and I hung out a while, then I took off for an audition that I didn't end up getting (womp-womp) so I rewarded myself with, WHAT ELSE?!....Taco Bell! Woooo! I braved the weather and a Cubs game'd Wrigleyville to go to the Wrigleyville Taco Bell so I could try their latest $1 specialty creation, the Triple Melt Burrito. This was a fantastic item for only a dollar. YES it was Melty, YES it was Cheesy, and you're GOD DAMN MO'FUCKIN' COCK-SUCKIN RIGHT it was beefy. A CLASSIC bell menu item for only a buck. God Bless 'em!

I then went to hang with my BOY James Manny Manno and we watched Conan's special "Due Buffoni" where he and his associate producer, Jordan Schlansky, travel to Italy. It's hilarious and I recommend it to everyone. We also knocked out some podcast theme songs for Chooch Chat and The Poopcast. I am very excited and happy about them! "ZACH, shut up about stuff and talk about food you fuckin' dump truck."

Come on guys, be cool! I'm getting to it. Before watching TV James and I went to Mariano's where I bought myself a 6-pack of Miller High Life (Classic Cheat Day ITEM! and yes I drank them all!) and two small gelato's from their little Vero cafe. I got Cookies and Cream and Chocolate Pothole. Both of which were fucking delicious. I think at the end of the day this was James' and my way of wishing for warmer weather, ICE CREAM WEATHER god dammit!

Chocolate Pot Hole

At this point it's getting late in the day and I still haven't tried anything new and/or local, so I start racking my brain. After Liz gets out of rehearsal I go and meet her at home and we watch the Disney movie "Coco" which is a very good movie. I recommend it. Now, I thought I was up shits creek and I wasn't going to get to try any place new for the blog. I was warm and snuggly back home with my boo while it was wet rainy cold and all around shitty outside. But then! during "Coco", I turn to GrubHub! Now, GrubHub is something that I am not sure I have EVER referenced in this blog. It's basically a Cheat Day miracle app, alright? It ALWAYS comes through in a pinch.

Fancy Hot Pocket (Pizza Puff)

I got on there and what did I see immediately that would more than blow the lid off of this week's post? SLIM's ya'll! The classic Chicago-style grill right around the corner from me on Montrose and Damen. Slim's has a burger that is often on top 10 burgers in Chicago lists and of course that is what I had to go with. I got a double bacon cheeseburger, curly fries with cheese sauce, and a MOTHER FUCKING PIZZA PUFF TO BOOT! Now is the time to get hungry people! GET HUNGRY AND GO TO SLIMS! The burger did NOT disappoint, and there ain't NO fucking-up cheese fries and a pizza puff so of course those hit the spot. Slim's is HIGHLY recommended for any burger lover OR any Chicago staple (dog, italian beef, etc.) lover.

After "Coco" was over my friends Tony and Jackie were hitting up the best bar in Chicago, Laschet's Inn. And I don't get to drink beer any other day of the week so I HAD to meet them there. I drank SO MUCH beer you guys, you'd be VERY impressed. Stiegl is my beer of choice AND they just got a new keg of fancy Stiegl put in. I drank so much beer I didn't even have the late night beer munchies! Just ask Jackie how much beer I had. Tony had lots of beer too! I was proud of us, and it is exactly how I want to end every Cheat Day from NOW ON! WOOOOOO Beer! HOORAY STIEGL!

Litre Stiegl (Drink of Choice)

So, looking back it definitely sounds a lot more epic than I remembered. Part of that is most likely because of the beer at the end of the night. Thanks for reading and continuing to read! If you want me to try some cheat food let me know in the comments and I'll try to make it happen next Cheat Day. Take care of each other, take care of yourselves, and eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach

Cheese Day. Don't Care.

Yum a Dummy Do Cheaters! It is I Zach FARTILIUS Finch! Talkin' once again about CHEAT fuggin' DAY. I am back to sub-260 and I NEVER want to go above that ever the FUCK again! So gimme a "holla atcha boy" in the comments if you agree! OR DON'T Fuck it, what do I care. Ya'll are just here to live vicariously through a gluten and I love you for that!

I did it guys! I had a great week of Slow Carbs and I lost some poundage. I also did a lot of biking and walking on top of that. I intend on increasing my work out routine further and I will let you know how that goes next week. But I biked my DICK OFF let me tell you. And for those of you who bike, you know the exact feeling I'm talking about. And for those of you without dicks or don't bike or both I will describe it to you. Sometimes you bike SO MUCH that the narrow and HARD seat you are sitting on is CRAMMED deep into your taint and makes your junk fall asleep. Ya know, has your foot ever fallen asleep from you sitting on it? It's like that, but in your dick!

"WHERE DID YOU EAT YOU NASTY FREAK?!"

Ah jeez, my dick bit made you hungry eh? Well, I'll get right to it. I didn't make too strong of a plan for this Cheat Day as my lovely lady Liz was not to be joining me. So, we woke up and ate a rather usual breakfast: Eggs and Bacon, only this time we added CHEESE to everything. I also ate left over chips from an impromptu game night which I topped with, YOU GUESSED IT, CHEESE! Dem GOT DAMNED Henning's Wisconsin Cheese Curds at that. GOT DAMN that's good cheese.

Chooch Chat Episode 84

I then went to record an episode of my podcast, Chooch Chat, with Tony Giamichael of the Rock and Roll outfit Man Called Noon. On the way to his place I picked up an 8 pack of Guinness pints. I left only two in the Mom's Studio fridge when all was said and done. Beer is a truly yearn-able beverage on this slow carb diet. For a guy like me to limit himself to one day of beer per week is quite a feat. So I LEANED into it. I had 6 pints of Guinness, 2 Ayingers, and 2 Busch Lights while at Mom's Studios. I know, the quality really drops off there, but HEY that's 8 pretty heavy beers, all while I was at Mom's Studio doing the podcast and I was still standing and ready for more! I also ate MORE cheese there, a delicious assortment of Trader Joe's fancy cheeses. I guess we'll call this one CHEESE Day. Don't Care...

After that Tony and I went to Nick's on Wilson where our friend, Nick Taylor, was working. Nick's on Wilson is JUST a bar, no food. I'd call it a dive bar, but Tony thinks it's too nice...stupid idiot! I knew before I was gonna drink anymore I needed SOMEthing to eat. So we went into the adjacent 7-Eleven where I got a small Italian sub and 4 taquitos. FLAVORS?! 2 Jalapeno and Cream Cheese and 2 Taco and Cheese. The 7-Eleven taquito is one of my all time favorite guilty pleasure foods. I'll gladly waste some Cheat Day gut space on those bad boys.

Once in Nick's I enjoyed 3 more beers, 3 Floyd's Alpha King on tap. Delicious. Nick also made Tony and I a special shot which he called a rainbow water slide. VERY fruity. I'm pretty sure Nick just used all of the Stoli flavored vodkas for it. It was nearing the end of my Cheat Day when I left Nick's bar and I wasn't entirely satisfied with my choices. But then, I met back up with Liz and She. Changed. Everything.

Neither of us wanted to do much with our Saturday evening so we made our way to our local bodega for some snacks to nosh on while watching a movie. My choice was nachos and a burrito from a local Mexican joint, FUCK bodega snacks, those are for suckers. And as we approached the bodega we saw a bright shiny idea bulb in the form of the new local corner bar to our neighborhood: Wolcott Tap!

We went in and I CONTINUED to drink beer! I ordered 2 Half-Acre Daisycutters and a Hamms. The Hamms was only $3 on tap, not too shabby a price. While there we also made the bold decision to ORDER FUCKING FOOD. I did it! I hit up a new local spot! A Cheat Day NECESSITY, so I am glad this turn of events took place. They had a good bar menu! And, though a bit pricey, delicious food. I ordered a Cheesesteak with Fries and Liz ordered the Cubano. Their Cheesesteak and Cubanos were a bit different but delicious none the less. See they hollow out these strange delicious rolls that are nice and crispy and buttery, yum a dum dum, and then they stuff those rolls with delicious fillings, the likes of which you'd find on a cheesesteak or in a cubano. I was nervous the sandwiches would fall apart easily, but quite the contrary! They held together exquisitely. The fries, though not my usual preference were quite good and unique. I give it a solid point and pump. It's going to be great because it is super close too!

To cap it all off I got some Cherry Coke (the king of sodas) at that bodega afterwards and made some whiskey-cokes. I woke up this morning with a horrible stomach ache. I guess cheat day was a huge success. Don't forget everyone: Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. Eat like your life depended on it.

ELE
Zach

Cheat Week? DO Care.

Alright ya cheatin' ass maw tuggin' butt lickin' dong SNIFFERS! I'm SORRY! Alright. I came out and said it. RIGHT OFF THE BAT TOO! Okay? None of that tired/half-assed Louis CK type apology, NAH. NO SIR. I. AM. SORRY. Alright?! Sorry to you for letting you down. I am stuck up at my original weight! For those of you who don't know it's about 263 lbs....And I wanted to be a 200 by August, WELL NOT AT THIS RATE! And I am sorry to you, my faithful reader for that. I'm also sorry to myself. Sorry Zach, hey, it's okay Zach. You're trying! You're conscious of your situation at least. You are working toward a better, healthier life and this is a commendable step...yeah-well-THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH OTHER ZACH! Ehem... Here's what happened...

Loyola Taco Bell Interior

Last day-after-cheat-day the Kansas Jayhawks played the Duke Blue Devils in the Elite 8 for a spot in the Final 4 and the Jayhawks totally won! It was an awesome game too, close the whole way through. During the game I got a little drunk of Vodka Tonics. BOOM, already a bad sign. Last week I TOLD YOU I wouldn't be drinking on Non-Cheat Days and here I am, knocking back Vodka-Sodas like some middle aged woman and a BAD cheater! Anyway the intoxication of the victory mixed with the intoxication of the vodka set in motion some bad decision making on my part. I had decided that it would be a good idea to go to Taco Bell to celebrate....I KNOW. STUPID!...wanna know what I ate?
I KNEW YOU DID! You friggin' VOYEURS! I ate a Crunchwrap Supreme, A Chicken Quesadilla, a Cheesy Gordita Crunch WITH a Doritos Locos Taco, AND a Beef Quesarito OR, as I call it, the usual. Next, I let myself get talked into a "bang-bang". For those of you who don't know I'll explain. A "bang-bang" is where fat people, or people with a cheat day, will go to one restaurant sit and eat a meal and then immediately go to another restaurant and eat a whole OTHER meal. Fuckin' A right? America! Good thing I had all those vodka sodas rather than beer otherwise I'd be 360 lbs amirite? I know, I know, I'm wrong...STUPID!

"The Usual"

"Zach! Shut up and tell us where the 2nd half of this bang-bang took place!"

Raising Cane's

FINE, FUCK! I went up the street from the Loyola Campus Taco Bell to the Loyola Campus Raising Cane's Chicken Fingers. This was actually a serious treat, even on non-cheat day, as I had never been before. Cane's Chicken Fingers are truly top notch, especially for a chain. The fingers were HOT, the breading was plentiful AND crispy. The meat? Succulent and juicy. I'd go back, again and again. It was reminiscent of Lee's Fried Chicken in Richmond, VA, if anyone of you has ever had that before.

Giordano's Thin Crust

Anyway, this bang-bang was just the beginning of a BAD week. After a couple of solid days of slow-carb I hosted a meeting at my work during which my company provides free pizza and beer. I'm not going to lie, it was also a rough week at work and I cracked immediately on the beer. That, in turn, led me to crack on the pizza. I ate off of the left over Giordano's thin crust pizza for the rest of the week. Which leads me to this past Cheat Day.

Still Site

TURBO CRUST

I DID NOT pull a normal Cheat Day. Instead, I didn't eat anything all day until that TERRIBLE TERRIBLE Final Four, during which I pounded a few Steigl Gold Brau and Miller High Life's. Then we got some GOD DAMN Jet's Pizza! This is hands down the best chain pizza going right now. If you don't know the ways of Jet's Pizza and their Turbo Crust you've got to get yourself initiated. Jet's is a Detroit-Style Pizza Chain that boasts several different buttery/crispy pizza dough flavors, the most epic of which is TURBO CRUST! It's flavor and texture is unbeatable. It is soft and chewy and cheesy and delicious. Do yourself a FLAVOR and get yourself some GOD DAMN JET'S!

Braciole

Finally there was Easter Sunday. I was to be going to Easter Dinner at the Giamichael's. There would be no way I would make it out of there without devouring some mad carbs and so I allowed myself one more day before hopping back onto the Slow Carb horse. While there I drank a bunch of beers, DUH. I brought a Taco Bell Party Pack to contribute to the party and ate 2 and a half soft tacos myself. I ate cheese and crackers, fruit, delicious home-made pasta and scalloped potatoes. And then there were the meats! I had homemade meatballs, braciola, Italian sausage, and of course the Easter Sunday favorite: HAM! Finally, desserts. Now, I can't remember what I even ate. I think there was some lemon cake, some chocolate pie, and some GAUL DERN Italian cookies. My sides hurt all over again and I am struggling to breathe.

After all that I was done! I decided 100% that I absolutely had to re-set if I wanted to keep going on the Cheat Day Train. So as I write this I am two days in to clean eating and drinking. No alcohol during the week, again no carbs outside of complex carbs and yes mostly protein and veggies. It ain't easy, as I have already shown just two months into this diet, but I am also going to hop back on my bike and get some more cardio and hopefully get on a better exercise regimen to really kick this fucking thing into high gear! Thank you Liz, Alex, Nick and Brian for the inspiration to get this diet back on track! For more please visit www.zachandtony.com. Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. And eat like your like depended on it!

ELE,
Zach Finch