Dinner Diner is BACK!

Hey Cheaters. Not great news...

Me After a Slinger and a Surprise OTHER Meal

"What the fuck dude! How do you start an entry like that?! Get it together!"

Sorry...I'm such a piece of SHIT I know. I can't write blogs, I can't pound nasty food, I can't drink hard, and I can't GOD DAMN diet!

"Alright man! Jeez! Don't be so hard on yourself."

Sorry guys, I'm sorry! Sometimes I drink and eat too much during the week. I gained only 2 pounds this week but for god's sake I want my goal to GET ACHIEVED! Here's what happened people, here's why I am coming down on myself HARD!

"GROSS!"

COMING down on myself hard not GOING down on myself hard, get your head out of the gutter! Anyway, I was good on the diet Monday and Tuesday. I was even off early Tuesday with time to sleep in WEDNESDAY and I felt like I maintained! Let's talk turkey and pork. This week was cook out week, OKAY. I ended up at one Tuesday night and I ate olives and hot dogs with no buns and dipped 'em in mustard, so I was GOOD there but then I drank a bunch of beers and liquor drinks...soooo fuck!

Hotties at the Cookout!

Yes that IS Italian Beef on the Burger

On Wednesday it was fuggin' the 4th, okay. The greatest holiday this country has to offer! So you KNOW I threw back several beers, some DELICIOUS jalapeno popper dip (Thanks Drew and Jacquelyne), and some Chicago mix popcorn from Mariano's. But still I thought I did okay because everything else I ate was fruit, eggs, bacon, sausages, and hot dogs. But then, thanks to the lovely holiday in the middle of the week I had a short/non-existent work week which would normally help keep this diet on track. I took off Thursday to recuperate which turned into a touch of hair of the dog, nawsay? Plus a post movie stop at Slim's in Ravenswood for a "Slim's" burger and chili-cheese fries (Side note, the Slim's burger at Slim's might be my favorite burger in town and I will feature it on a future Cheat Day. Don't Care. post). Then Friday I knocked back a few with my coworker, Leslie, after work and then, like a siren goddess, Liz called me to Dinner Diner as it had just opened the morning prior!

"NOW we're getting to the good stuff!"

FUCK YEAH homie! Dinner Diner is back and it's still the TITS. I went and I COULD HAVE stayed on diet. I COULD have ordered steak and eggs, no hash browns. I COULD have ordered a veggie omelet but Dinner Diner has been closed for over a year and a half, so I went in hard on my first go-round and ordered the BEST thing on the menu: the double bacon cheeseburger with a side of hash browns instead of fries. Cheat Week continues!

I woke up Saturday morning and thought maybe I shouldn't cheat or maybe just do like a cheat breakfast type thing cause of all the boozing and the Slimsing and the Dinner Dinering and what not. Then, the siren goddess sang once more: Let's get donuts! BOOM, that sprang me out of bed and on our way to a Dunkin in the Western Brown Line station cause it is near a delightful park where we sat and ate. After the donuts and the chilling we went and did a Chooch Chat episode and I still had a half a mind to take it easy on Cheat Day and it was kind of panning out.

After the podcast and before HITTIN' the BEACH, Man Called Tony and I knocked back about 3 left over hot dogs each...SURPRISE CHEAT! They were CHEESE FILLED bitches and I put one in a bun! NOM NOM NOM NOM CHEAT DAY! The beach was a blast. We spent about an hour in the water playing like kids then another hour+ in the sand playing like kids...we're still kids.

I have a Cheat Day secret that NO ONE knows but me. The plan was to go home and rinse off after the beach, then Tony and I were supposed to hit up Dinner Diner again and THEN go to an epic cook out at funny man Rob Wilson's apartment. All of this DID happen mind you, but what NO ONE knows is that on my way home from the beach to rinse off I stopped a Byron's Hot Dogs on Lawrence to snag me an Italian Beef sammy, fries AND a fucking Pizza Puff.

"YOU FAT SACK OF CHEATIN' ASS!"

The Slinger in ALL IT'S GLORY

I thought you'd like that one! Then I got my ass back down to Dinner Diner and ordered up a Slinger. BANG-BANG BABY! Afterwards, feeling obscenely full and lethargic as what was turning out to be yet another EPIC Cheat Day started to reach it's final act, Man Called Tony and I slow rolled to Mr. Wilson's cook out, but neither of us could eat anything even though his spread was intense. We were both, in fact, worried about being party poopers (Man Called Tony did it! I avoided it). But, Alex Romero, we did strap on our drinking bag. I crushed probably about 4 bourbon drinks: Beam and ginger, JACK and ginger (compliments of James Manno's heavy pouring hand), Jack on the rocks, and 4 Roses on the rocks. I also took down 4 beers, TWO of which I slammed while waiting for Mike Hamilton to snag a rib on his way out the door. Hamilton was VERY impressed, you should ask him about it!

After that we went back to the G's to watch Semi-Pro, hands down the best Will Ferrell movie ever made. There was more drinking. I probably had one more glass of whiskey (and some water to help balance me out). So it looks like I am going to need to put in some WORK this week. Believe in me? I believe in you! I believe you'll take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. And eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach Finch

Here's a picture of Sater eating an Ice Cream Sandwich in the Spirit of Cheat Day!

New Taco Bell, Slim's Double Cheat Day Burger, BEER and Lots of It!

Slim's Double Chee

@brianmfartland

Greeting CHEATERS! and happy Monday to you all! It is I, his cheat-ness! I didn't lose any weight last week, but I'm still not back above 260 lbs so I feel good about everything! I want to tell you how my diet went last week. To start, I biked my fucking DICK off even HARDER last week, biking 30 miles in just one day last week and averaging about 20 miles every other day. Yes thank you, thank you, please hold your applause. That's all well and good, HOWEVER, my biggest accomplishment was when I went to a Cubs game and didn't drink a single beer or eat a single hot dog or nachos or NOTHING.

I want to point out the fact that avid "Cheat Day. Don't Care." reader, Alex Romero (Sup dude?!) saw me at the game and was under the impression that because I was at the game I was knockin' back $10 Budweisers which I assure you was NOT the case. Instead I snuck in 4 of those mini plastic red-wine bottles, Merlot to be exact, and I sucked those down throughout the course of the game. "ZACH! You drank red wine at the game?! You FREAK!"

Sutter Home

I KNOW I KNOW, SHUT UP! It was the best thing I did all week, so stick it up yer ASS!

@brianmfartland

And with this decision comes a PRO TIP! Buy yourself a four pack of mini plastic wines or a small glass flask of spirits to sneak into a ball game rather than pay those RIDICULOUS prices for booze! It'll be well worth it! Oh, also, my buddy Brian Gartland got himself a Ben Zobrist foul ball, so that's pretty cool.

So I made it the whole way through the week without any side cheating. (Slow Clap!) thank you thank you. And I made it to Cheat Day and was a bit disappointed in my weight in and SORELY unprepared for the Cheat Day ahead of me. I woke up Saturday morning to a cold and rainy and dreary day, it was miserable. So I slowly got up and snagged some cheese that Liz keeps in the fridge and ate a little of that. We also had some chips and pretzels left over in the cabinet so I snacked on them suckers for a little while too. I then put on a Simpsons DVD and fell back asleep like some fat nerd.

Taco Bell

Liz and I hung out a while, then I took off for an audition that I didn't end up getting (womp-womp) so I rewarded myself with, WHAT ELSE?!....Taco Bell! Woooo! I braved the weather and a Cubs game'd Wrigleyville to go to the Wrigleyville Taco Bell so I could try their latest $1 specialty creation, the Triple Melt Burrito. This was a fantastic item for only a dollar. YES it was Melty, YES it was Cheesy, and you're GOD DAMN MO'FUCKIN' COCK-SUCKIN RIGHT it was beefy. A CLASSIC bell menu item for only a buck. God Bless 'em!

I then went to hang with my BOY James Manny Manno and we watched Conan's special "Due Buffoni" where he and his associate producer, Jordan Schlansky, travel to Italy. It's hilarious and I recommend it to everyone. We also knocked out some podcast theme songs for Chooch Chat and The Poopcast. I am very excited and happy about them! "ZACH, shut up about stuff and talk about food you fuckin' dump truck."

Come on guys, be cool! I'm getting to it. Before watching TV James and I went to Mariano's where I bought myself a 6-pack of Miller High Life (Classic Cheat Day ITEM! and yes I drank them all!) and two small gelato's from their little Vero cafe. I got Cookies and Cream and Chocolate Pothole. Both of which were fucking delicious. I think at the end of the day this was James' and my way of wishing for warmer weather, ICE CREAM WEATHER god dammit!

Chocolate Pot Hole

At this point it's getting late in the day and I still haven't tried anything new and/or local, so I start racking my brain. After Liz gets out of rehearsal I go and meet her at home and we watch the Disney movie "Coco" which is a very good movie. I recommend it. Now, I thought I was up shits creek and I wasn't going to get to try any place new for the blog. I was warm and snuggly back home with my boo while it was wet rainy cold and all around shitty outside. But then! during "Coco", I turn to GrubHub! Now, GrubHub is something that I am not sure I have EVER referenced in this blog. It's basically a Cheat Day miracle app, alright? It ALWAYS comes through in a pinch.

Fancy Hot Pocket (Pizza Puff)

I got on there and what did I see immediately that would more than blow the lid off of this week's post? SLIM's ya'll! The classic Chicago-style grill right around the corner from me on Montrose and Damen. Slim's has a burger that is often on top 10 burgers in Chicago lists and of course that is what I had to go with. I got a double bacon cheeseburger, curly fries with cheese sauce, and a MOTHER FUCKING PIZZA PUFF TO BOOT! Now is the time to get hungry people! GET HUNGRY AND GO TO SLIMS! The burger did NOT disappoint, and there ain't NO fucking-up cheese fries and a pizza puff so of course those hit the spot. Slim's is HIGHLY recommended for any burger lover OR any Chicago staple (dog, italian beef, etc.) lover.

After "Coco" was over my friends Tony and Jackie were hitting up the best bar in Chicago, Laschet's Inn. And I don't get to drink beer any other day of the week so I HAD to meet them there. I drank SO MUCH beer you guys, you'd be VERY impressed. Stiegl is my beer of choice AND they just got a new keg of fancy Stiegl put in. I drank so much beer I didn't even have the late night beer munchies! Just ask Jackie how much beer I had. Tony had lots of beer too! I was proud of us, and it is exactly how I want to end every Cheat Day from NOW ON! WOOOOOO Beer! HOORAY STIEGL!

Litre Stiegl (Drink of Choice)

So, looking back it definitely sounds a lot more epic than I remembered. Part of that is most likely because of the beer at the end of the night. Thanks for reading and continuing to read! If you want me to try some cheat food let me know in the comments and I'll try to make it happen next Cheat Day. Take care of each other, take care of yourselves, and eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach