New Taco Bell, Slim's Double Cheat Day Burger, BEER and Lots of It!

Slim's Double Chee

@brianmfartland

Greeting CHEATERS! and happy Monday to you all! It is I, his cheat-ness! I didn't lose any weight last week, but I'm still not back above 260 lbs so I feel good about everything! I want to tell you how my diet went last week. To start, I biked my fucking DICK off even HARDER last week, biking 30 miles in just one day last week and averaging about 20 miles every other day. Yes thank you, thank you, please hold your applause. That's all well and good, HOWEVER, my biggest accomplishment was when I went to a Cubs game and didn't drink a single beer or eat a single hot dog or nachos or NOTHING.

I want to point out the fact that avid "Cheat Day. Don't Care." reader, Alex Romero (Sup dude?!) saw me at the game and was under the impression that because I was at the game I was knockin' back $10 Budweisers which I assure you was NOT the case. Instead I snuck in 4 of those mini plastic red-wine bottles, Merlot to be exact, and I sucked those down throughout the course of the game. "ZACH! You drank red wine at the game?! You FREAK!"

Sutter Home

I KNOW I KNOW, SHUT UP! It was the best thing I did all week, so stick it up yer ASS!

@brianmfartland

And with this decision comes a PRO TIP! Buy yourself a four pack of mini plastic wines or a small glass flask of spirits to sneak into a ball game rather than pay those RIDICULOUS prices for booze! It'll be well worth it! Oh, also, my buddy Brian Gartland got himself a Ben Zobrist foul ball, so that's pretty cool.

So I made it the whole way through the week without any side cheating. (Slow Clap!) thank you thank you. And I made it to Cheat Day and was a bit disappointed in my weight in and SORELY unprepared for the Cheat Day ahead of me. I woke up Saturday morning to a cold and rainy and dreary day, it was miserable. So I slowly got up and snagged some cheese that Liz keeps in the fridge and ate a little of that. We also had some chips and pretzels left over in the cabinet so I snacked on them suckers for a little while too. I then put on a Simpsons DVD and fell back asleep like some fat nerd.

Taco Bell

Liz and I hung out a while, then I took off for an audition that I didn't end up getting (womp-womp) so I rewarded myself with, WHAT ELSE?!....Taco Bell! Woooo! I braved the weather and a Cubs game'd Wrigleyville to go to the Wrigleyville Taco Bell so I could try their latest $1 specialty creation, the Triple Melt Burrito. This was a fantastic item for only a dollar. YES it was Melty, YES it was Cheesy, and you're GOD DAMN MO'FUCKIN' COCK-SUCKIN RIGHT it was beefy. A CLASSIC bell menu item for only a buck. God Bless 'em!

I then went to hang with my BOY James Manny Manno and we watched Conan's special "Due Buffoni" where he and his associate producer, Jordan Schlansky, travel to Italy. It's hilarious and I recommend it to everyone. We also knocked out some podcast theme songs for Chooch Chat and The Poopcast. I am very excited and happy about them! "ZACH, shut up about stuff and talk about food you fuckin' dump truck."

Come on guys, be cool! I'm getting to it. Before watching TV James and I went to Mariano's where I bought myself a 6-pack of Miller High Life (Classic Cheat Day ITEM! and yes I drank them all!) and two small gelato's from their little Vero cafe. I got Cookies and Cream and Chocolate Pothole. Both of which were fucking delicious. I think at the end of the day this was James' and my way of wishing for warmer weather, ICE CREAM WEATHER god dammit!

Chocolate Pot Hole

At this point it's getting late in the day and I still haven't tried anything new and/or local, so I start racking my brain. After Liz gets out of rehearsal I go and meet her at home and we watch the Disney movie "Coco" which is a very good movie. I recommend it. Now, I thought I was up shits creek and I wasn't going to get to try any place new for the blog. I was warm and snuggly back home with my boo while it was wet rainy cold and all around shitty outside. But then! during "Coco", I turn to GrubHub! Now, GrubHub is something that I am not sure I have EVER referenced in this blog. It's basically a Cheat Day miracle app, alright? It ALWAYS comes through in a pinch.

Fancy Hot Pocket (Pizza Puff)

I got on there and what did I see immediately that would more than blow the lid off of this week's post? SLIM's ya'll! The classic Chicago-style grill right around the corner from me on Montrose and Damen. Slim's has a burger that is often on top 10 burgers in Chicago lists and of course that is what I had to go with. I got a double bacon cheeseburger, curly fries with cheese sauce, and a MOTHER FUCKING PIZZA PUFF TO BOOT! Now is the time to get hungry people! GET HUNGRY AND GO TO SLIMS! The burger did NOT disappoint, and there ain't NO fucking-up cheese fries and a pizza puff so of course those hit the spot. Slim's is HIGHLY recommended for any burger lover OR any Chicago staple (dog, italian beef, etc.) lover.

After "Coco" was over my friends Tony and Jackie were hitting up the best bar in Chicago, Laschet's Inn. And I don't get to drink beer any other day of the week so I HAD to meet them there. I drank SO MUCH beer you guys, you'd be VERY impressed. Stiegl is my beer of choice AND they just got a new keg of fancy Stiegl put in. I drank so much beer I didn't even have the late night beer munchies! Just ask Jackie how much beer I had. Tony had lots of beer too! I was proud of us, and it is exactly how I want to end every Cheat Day from NOW ON! WOOOOOO Beer! HOORAY STIEGL!

Litre Stiegl (Drink of Choice)

So, looking back it definitely sounds a lot more epic than I remembered. Part of that is most likely because of the beer at the end of the night. Thanks for reading and continuing to read! If you want me to try some cheat food let me know in the comments and I'll try to make it happen next Cheat Day. Take care of each other, take care of yourselves, and eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach