Holi-CHEAT-day

Dinner Cruise

What up you cheatin' ass busters. I am back for a special edition of Cheat Day. Don't Care. A HOLIDAY edition. YES, the holidays are WAY behind us now and NO I am not technically on a diet which ALLOWS for a cheat day, or really any diet specifically right now! Though I am loosely following The Plant Paradox with Liz, in case you are wondering. BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT! GOD DAMMIT!

I'm here to talk to you about everyone's favorite Cheat SEASON. A season known for such gluttony that we as a culture have deemed it necessary to declare RESOLUTIONS to prevent us from living like FAT DISGUSTING SLOBS until the end of TIME! Dry January, Gym Memberships, Whole 30, PLANT PARADOX! MY GOD! Please allow me (and yourself) to relive the glory that is the Cheatenist season of them all, the holidays.

Sport Cap

My holiday officially began on December 23rd. But let's face it, my fat ass was snacking on holiday cookies and candy well before that. Try NOVEMBER 23rd FUCKIN' FUCKERS. But this is specifically about my Holiday Break/Vacation to SUNNY CLEARWATER FLORIDA! Where all the scientologists are imprisoned...imprisoned is the scientologist word for live. I landed and I wasn't feeling my best. BUT my ever loving father and brother picked me up from the airport with a 16oz Miller Light SPORT CAP. Sport cap is what we call those aluminum bottles with a cap that twists off and back on again... ya know, so we can get back to playing SPORTS. So what did my exhausted and sick ass do? DRANK DAT SHIIIIIT! It may have been the worst beer I've ever drank before noon.

Parent's Place in FLA

Taco Ring

Taco Pie

I got to my parents' new humble ABODE which is WONDERFUL BTW... If I could eat it I would, but I can't and I didn't. Also, I wasn't feeling well so I was pacing myself. I waited until around dinner time, when my aunt and uncle showed up with their friend from the STOOL of the midwest (Indianapolis), to GET DOWN TO BUSINESS! I cracked open another Sport Cap AND my uncle made me a rather potent Margarita. DELICIOUS. My MA made everyone two of the WHITEST Mexican dishes ever thought up. 1. A Taco RING made by rolling taco fillings up into pillsbury croissants and sorting it into a ring and then baking it. and 2. One of my all time personal favorites the Taco PIE: which you can find in an Old El Paso dinner box kit. It is just as it sounds, flour tortillas staked with taco filling in between each one and then, you guessed in...BAKED. An affordable and delicious way to pack on the calories. Let's not also forget the fixins': olives, shredded cheese, sour cream, lettuce, two different kinds of salsa, and of course a queso DIP. EAT IT ALL!..we did.

The next day was Christmas Eve and we were to be getting on a dusk time dinner cruise buffet! So we didn't eat too much during the day time in order to save room, so once we were on the boat we could PUT IT AWAY. The boat was nice, it was a yacht. It was huge. There were about 130 DINERS on board with just one line for food. We got on FIRST. How's that for Cheaters. We CHARGED the line and got helping 1 before most of the boat was even seated. We laughed and ate in the faces of all the old suckers who hobbled to their tables. The spread was as follows:

-Charred Apple Salad w/Romaine and Baby Lettuces, Cherry Tomatoes Halves, Butternut Squash, Dried Cherries, Roasted Grapes and Cider Dressing (SOUNDS HEALTHY, BOOO, delicious dressing though)

-Roast Baron Beef Round w/Bordelaise Sauce and Herbed Horseradish Aioli (Now we're talkin', but still not exactly CHEAT worthy)

-Sauteed Chicken Breast w/ Roasted Pears, Cranberries and a Honey Glaze (OOOO fruit and "GLAZE" sound like good cheat factors)

-Dijon Horseradish Crusted Salmon over a Lemon Dill Beurre Blanc (Delicious, but again, not bad for you at all)

-Penne Pasta Gratin w/Smoked Gouda (SHOW STOPPER! HERE IT IS, everything CHEAT in one dish...in case you're wondering, which you ARE otherwise you wouldn't still be reading...I had 3.5 helpings)

-Roasted Reg Potato "Scampi" w/Garlic, Olive Oil, Fresh Herbs, and Asiago Cheese (Potatoes BOOM, CHEESE AGAIN BOOM - 2 helpings)

-Steamed Broccoli, Cauliflower and Baby Carrots tossed in a Maple Vinaigrette (I happen to like everything about this dish cheat-worthy or not)

My 1st plate + Pretty Mama

That was the main Holiday Dinner of the trip. It was a fantastic evening. After dinner we enjoyed a slice of either chocolate fudge cake OR a sort of cheese cake. I got the chocolate cake and Nick (my bro) got the cheesecake thing. It was all quite good. We also enjoyed a cocktail or two while cruising around Clearwater sound as the sun set and the weather warmed us. Quite an evening, quite an event. If you find yourself in that area look up Yacht StarShip and TREAT YO SELF!

Christmas Day I got drunk. It was the only day I got "drunk" while in Florida, which was actually really nice. It was fun to not be drunk all the time on a vacay. But! It was also fun to be DRUNK on X-Mas. Let me TAKE YOU THERE. I awoke Christmas morning, pretty much before EVERYBODY just like always, cause I'm still a kid at heart and I went STRAIGHT for my stocking and ate 2 slimjims and some chocolate for breakfast. Merry Cheatmas everyone. Nick and I wanted to get on some Jetskis for X-mas, cause you can do that in Florida in December. But we got stonewalled as apparently if you aren't 30 you need some sort of special small watercraft license from the state of Florida (which you can get online) and young Nick is merely 28 years old. This is just another way for Florida to squeeze a little extra scratch out of our nation's YOUTH. FEH.

Where we get them Rum Runners

Since we got shut down at the Jetski place Nick and I snagged a quick MARG at the tiki bar next door and we played a little foosball (I won). We then went to the tiki bar a few spots down where we left the "adults". We left them there because they LOVE the Rum Runners they serve. 32 ounces for $10! Now that's a fuckin' CHEATMAS MIRACLE. Them bad boys are POTENT too. After that drink and the Margarita I was already pretty tipsy...drunk even. Drunk enough so that when the "adults" decided it was time to move on to my aunt's house where Christmas dinner was to be served I could not drive. Well guess what was at their house waiting for us. BEER!...and Bourbon and Lots.Fucking.Ovit.

You want details?! YOU GOT EM. (Thanks for the assist Nick). My aunt Maureen went traditional for X-Mas dinner. We ate ham, green bean casserole, some mashed taters, and a little side salad. And GUESS WHAT?! I had just one helping (except for the green bean casserole). This was mostly because I was more focused on drinking the delicious Big Storm Brewing Co.'s Tropic Pressure Florida Ale and smoking a nice lil'Montecristo courtesy of Uncle Randy.

The next day Nick had to get on a damn plane and get back to Virginia so we didn't have much time to waste. We went right back to that Jetski stand, license in hand ($10 later), and jetskiid about an hour around Clearwater Beach. It was awesome. We then knocked back another 32oz Rum Runner before I got Nick a lil'taste of sweet home Chicago! That's right, I found us a JET'S PIZZA to stop at on the way to dropping Nick at the airport! WOO! Ho YEAH! JETSJETSJETSJETSJETS! EAT IT UP!

The next couple of days were chill. We didn't eat to much NASTINESS. It was also just me and my folks kickin' it. We took it easy. We took a couple walks. Saw the movie The Mule (1 point and pump). Ate light and ate at home. In preparation for the lovely Liz's arrival I prepared some of my mom's famous brownies, with mom's help. They were delicious as ever. Our cheatin' asses enjoyed them heated with a scoop or two of peppermint ice cream. This is now one of my favorite desserts. Aside from sweets most of what Liz and I ate down in Florida with my folks wasn't very Cheaty. We ate gummy gators, chocolate bars, Pez, candy canes, brownies, cake, and all sorts of other sweets. I drank very little, if at all. We ate LIKE KINGS at a grill out at Aunt Maureen's: I'm talking surf and turf people. DECADENT yes, but CHEATY? Not even close! Oh yeah, they also have Wawas there, so of course I treated myself to a Wawa sub.

The next main event, as well all know, is New Years FUCKIN' Eve! Liz and I took a drive over to Orlando to go to Universal Studios. WHY?! No not Harry Potter you fucking NERDS, Jesus Christ, just stop reading. I'm Talking SPRINGFIELD. SIMPSONS LAND. MOTHER FUGGLERS! It was a dream. There isn't much to Springfield, but the detail is impeccable. The ride is VERY entertaining and fun, as are the carnival games, but most importantly Moe's Tavern is the TITS. I ordered a Duff Beer around noon and Liz had a non-alcoholic Flaming Moe (they are ONLY non-alcoholic, FYI but they are very fun). We then got a donut deemed "The Big Pink" and walked around eating it. Now this isn't the first time I've eaten THE BIG PINK, but it's the first time I ate this donut. It was good, cakey, but good! I enjoyed it.

One thing I'll say about Universal on the whole is, they know what they are doing in regards to line management and set detail. Walking around Diagon Alley was fanciful and magical, walking through lines to get to ride was so entertaining I didn't care when lines too more than half an hour (which was the average by the way) I'll go ahead and rank the rides now. I KNOW IT'S NOT FOOD RELATED BUT IT'S FUCKING FUN! SO FUCK YOU!

1. The Simpsons Ride (I'm a company man, what can I say)
2. Revenge of The Mummy (Haunted House Coaster complete with fire, water, and a surprise ending)
3. ET (Classic, delightful, magical, best enjoyed high off your ass)
4. Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit (The only true coaster on the OG side of the Park, solid coaster, PLUS you get to pick a song you will listen to the whole ride)
5. Men in Black Alien Attack (Best line, made you feel most like you were a part of the movie, also had a nice competitive twist)
6. Fast & Furious Supercharged (Fairly fun line, fun-ish ride, would be better if you weren't crammed on a bus sized car, best projections and actor integration. Who doesn't like The Rock)
7. Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon (Why is this a ride? Was actually delightful, exceeded all expectations...but really...why?)

They Did Conan Dirty

8. Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts (This sucked. I'm no hater. Not really anyway. I like the Harry Potter universe. I enjoyed the movies and the few books I read, but this ride essentially took what the Mummy does and waters it down (no water effect pun intended). Not only that but it's got the LONGEST (obvi) SHITTIEST line to wait in. I think Liz and I waited close to 90 minutes and most of it was like waiting in a line at the bank or the DMV or a VERY busy library. So...if that's what they were trying to simulate...good on them. They definitely did it.)

Even waiting in this traffic to get out was somehow more fun than the line to the Harry Potter ride.

Honestly, I would rate the Harry Potter ride as dead LAST in the things that we did at Universal, even after resting in the car before going back in the park for the New Years Countdown, and waiting in line at the lost and found to get Liz's phone back. Fight me NERDS! And I'm done! What did I eat you say!?

Well, OF COURSE Liz and I ate at Krusty Burger, which was essentially classic middle of the road and WAY over priced amusement park food, but WHEN IN SPRINGFIELD! She got a Krusty Burger with cheese and curly fried as well as a sugar free soda. I got THE CLOGGER! (basically a double bacon cheeseburger) with curly fries and a sugar free soda. The sugar free soda is actually a wise choice since we spent all day walking around in the sun. I also capped the night off with one more Duff Beer and Liz got a small sack of candy. We counted down in a large mass of people with a DJ leading the charge and then we immediately got in line for the coaster again. 2019 started with a roller coaster. Here's hoping the year is more of a steady rise to a long and sturdy plateau, or the most boring rollercoaster ever thought up! I will check back in every time I get a little TOO Cheaty. Who knows, maybe I'll do a Super Bowl edition if a certain team makes it. Take care of yourselves! Take care of each other! Eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach

Are we down with 'em?

NO! They must've seen YOU!

Dinner Diner is BACK!

Hey Cheaters. Not great news...

Me After a Slinger and a Surprise OTHER Meal

"What the fuck dude! How do you start an entry like that?! Get it together!"

Sorry...I'm such a piece of SHIT I know. I can't write blogs, I can't pound nasty food, I can't drink hard, and I can't GOD DAMN diet!

"Alright man! Jeez! Don't be so hard on yourself."

Sorry guys, I'm sorry! Sometimes I drink and eat too much during the week. I gained only 2 pounds this week but for god's sake I want my goal to GET ACHIEVED! Here's what happened people, here's why I am coming down on myself HARD!

"GROSS!"

COMING down on myself hard not GOING down on myself hard, get your head out of the gutter! Anyway, I was good on the diet Monday and Tuesday. I was even off early Tuesday with time to sleep in WEDNESDAY and I felt like I maintained! Let's talk turkey and pork. This week was cook out week, OKAY. I ended up at one Tuesday night and I ate olives and hot dogs with no buns and dipped 'em in mustard, so I was GOOD there but then I drank a bunch of beers and liquor drinks...soooo fuck!

Hotties at the Cookout!

Yes that IS Italian Beef on the Burger

On Wednesday it was fuggin' the 4th, okay. The greatest holiday this country has to offer! So you KNOW I threw back several beers, some DELICIOUS jalapeno popper dip (Thanks Drew and Jacquelyne), and some Chicago mix popcorn from Mariano's. But still I thought I did okay because everything else I ate was fruit, eggs, bacon, sausages, and hot dogs. But then, thanks to the lovely holiday in the middle of the week I had a short/non-existent work week which would normally help keep this diet on track. I took off Thursday to recuperate which turned into a touch of hair of the dog, nawsay? Plus a post movie stop at Slim's in Ravenswood for a "Slim's" burger and chili-cheese fries (Side note, the Slim's burger at Slim's might be my favorite burger in town and I will feature it on a future Cheat Day. Don't Care. post). Then Friday I knocked back a few with my coworker, Leslie, after work and then, like a siren goddess, Liz called me to Dinner Diner as it had just opened the morning prior!

"NOW we're getting to the good stuff!"

FUCK YEAH homie! Dinner Diner is back and it's still the TITS. I went and I COULD HAVE stayed on diet. I COULD have ordered steak and eggs, no hash browns. I COULD have ordered a veggie omelet but Dinner Diner has been closed for over a year and a half, so I went in hard on my first go-round and ordered the BEST thing on the menu: the double bacon cheeseburger with a side of hash browns instead of fries. Cheat Week continues!

I woke up Saturday morning and thought maybe I shouldn't cheat or maybe just do like a cheat breakfast type thing cause of all the boozing and the Slimsing and the Dinner Dinering and what not. Then, the siren goddess sang once more: Let's get donuts! BOOM, that sprang me out of bed and on our way to a Dunkin in the Western Brown Line station cause it is near a delightful park where we sat and ate. After the donuts and the chilling we went and did a Chooch Chat episode and I still had a half a mind to take it easy on Cheat Day and it was kind of panning out.

After the podcast and before HITTIN' the BEACH, Man Called Tony and I knocked back about 3 left over hot dogs each...SURPRISE CHEAT! They were CHEESE FILLED bitches and I put one in a bun! NOM NOM NOM NOM CHEAT DAY! The beach was a blast. We spent about an hour in the water playing like kids then another hour+ in the sand playing like kids...we're still kids.

I have a Cheat Day secret that NO ONE knows but me. The plan was to go home and rinse off after the beach, then Tony and I were supposed to hit up Dinner Diner again and THEN go to an epic cook out at funny man Rob Wilson's apartment. All of this DID happen mind you, but what NO ONE knows is that on my way home from the beach to rinse off I stopped a Byron's Hot Dogs on Lawrence to snag me an Italian Beef sammy, fries AND a fucking Pizza Puff.

"YOU FAT SACK OF CHEATIN' ASS!"

The Slinger in ALL IT'S GLORY

I thought you'd like that one! Then I got my ass back down to Dinner Diner and ordered up a Slinger. BANG-BANG BABY! Afterwards, feeling obscenely full and lethargic as what was turning out to be yet another EPIC Cheat Day started to reach it's final act, Man Called Tony and I slow rolled to Mr. Wilson's cook out, but neither of us could eat anything even though his spread was intense. We were both, in fact, worried about being party poopers (Man Called Tony did it! I avoided it). But, Alex Romero, we did strap on our drinking bag. I crushed probably about 4 bourbon drinks: Beam and ginger, JACK and ginger (compliments of James Manno's heavy pouring hand), Jack on the rocks, and 4 Roses on the rocks. I also took down 4 beers, TWO of which I slammed while waiting for Mike Hamilton to snag a rib on his way out the door. Hamilton was VERY impressed, you should ask him about it!

After that we went back to the G's to watch Semi-Pro, hands down the best Will Ferrell movie ever made. There was more drinking. I probably had one more glass of whiskey (and some water to help balance me out). So it looks like I am going to need to put in some WORK this week. Believe in me? I believe in you! I believe you'll take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. And eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach Finch

Here's a picture of Sater eating an Ice Cream Sandwich in the Spirit of Cheat Day!

Wisconsin Cheese - Ice Cream - Fudge OH MY!

Hey hey hey Cheaters! C'mon DOWN to CHEAT TOWN, aka Wisconsin! THAT is where I went THIS weekend. That's right TWO weekend getaways in two weeks and to some of the FATTEST places in this the FATTEST country on Earth! I haven't bothered weighing myself in for the past two weeks on account of these excursions because I can feel, IN MY FLAB, that I not only haven't lost weight but I have gained some back.

I would like my readership to know that the days between the getaways I stuck to the diet just so my body doesn't get completely used to pure crap. So cut me a little slack here!

Now, do you wanna know what I ate and where you should go if you find yourself in Wisconsin?! O-K!

First stop was Wisconsin Dells, WI. Which, if you didn't know, that place is like the water park capital of the world or some shit. I'm not gonna sugar coat it here people. Wisconsin Dells is EEEeeerily similar to Gatlinburg, TN. It's just got a but of kitschy crap: Old Timey Photo Joints, Fudge Shops, popcorn, Ripley's Believe It Or Not museums, random rides, taffy (even though these places are nowhere near salt water). These places are trashy, they are gaudy, and they're fun as fuck.

They are fun on a basic level. Rides are fun. Treats are fun. Strange entertainment like BS museums and side shows are fun. But it's also fun in an ironic way. People watching is fun. Making fun of others is fun. Making fun of the shops, attractions, and food is fun. Really letting yourself just go-all-in at these places makes for a brilliantly fun time.

Aside from that these places are America for good and bad. They are in the middle of beautiful parts of the country. Green lush farmlands or beautiful mountains surround these carnival towns. The people are simple and sweet and helpful.

These areas are also what other countries mock us for. These places are excess, they taunt world culture, they provide nothing for health or mental growth. It's pure visceral enjoyment.

"Bro you GOTTA shut up and tell us all the food you ate!"









Rude. But okay. My beautiful lady Liz and I got to the Wis Dells on Thursday. We ate responsibly before leaving Chicago and on the ride up: Eggs, bacon, apples, coffee, etc. After getting checked in and hanging at the park for a minute we went to to eat dinner at a local spot called Monk's as recommended by Chicago native and Wis Dells expert Leslie Maxey.

Leslie told me I had to try their burgers and THAT we did. They were solid. There weren't too many frills. They tasted like backyard bbq burgers or good old fashioned diner burgers. Liz and I split ours. I got the Jalapeno Cheddar Monkburger and she got the Gouda Monkburger. The Gouda is the way to go. It was delicious. That cheese made it. Also, I surprisingly didn't mind the mushrooms that were stacked on the mother. I ordered a New Glarus Spotted Cow on draft cause WISCONSIN. It was VERY close to the quality of a nice Steigl on Draft at Laschet's Inn in Chicago. We also got their cheese curds because, ya know...Wisconsin... but I'm not going to say much about them because we found better down the road.

The next day we got a free lunch at Pizza Pub thanks to the fact that we signed up to sit through a time share seminar. SIDEBAR: If you run into this scenario, FUGGIN DO IT! You get to mingle with some locals (laid back country folk) and they give you free ass shit like a pizza buffet and tickets to a dope ass water stunt show (Tommy Bartlett)! It was tight as hell!

Anyway, as I'm sure you've all probably correctly assumed, Pizza Pub has a Cici's-esque pizza buffet for lunch and that's what Liz and I ate. It was fine. I ate too much...and here it goes! I had a salad and some very salty french onion soup. I HAD TO OKAY! I needed something green! CUT ME SOME SLACK! Plus their salad bar was pretty choice, lots of good shit. I then ate two plates of pizza (stacked) and a plate of fettuccine-Alfredo. The pizza was MAYBE a notch above Cici's. I had taco pizza, BBQ chicken pizza, cheese burger pizza, cheese pizza, and pepperoni and sausage! THERE, ya HAPPY.

Munchie Madness

Later that night we got some ice cream from a local candy shop. It was delicious. Ice cream is a must when you're up in dairy land!

"What about breakfast? Last week you talked a BIIIIIG breakfast game!"

Well, Liz and I tried to stay somewhat responsible, so we'd only do this to ourselves once a day or so. We only had a bad breakfast once and it wasn't THAT bad really. It WAS at a place called Paul Bunyan's (I KNOW, another similarity! Davy Crockett's breakfast in Gatlinburg and Paul Bunyan's in Wisconsin. These towns love their folklore!) and it WAS all you can eat! But it wasn't buffet style. They just served everyone the same breakfast and you could have as much as you want. Here's a perfect example of excess in all the wrong ways. They offered fruit, but you had to pay extra for it...like fuggin' WHAT?! Give the people some FRUIT for fucks sake. The included items were eggs, ham, sausage, potatoes, pancakes, and biscuits and gravy. I only ordered more eggs and potatoes. Those two things were surprisingly good. I couldn't handle pancakes and biscuits at this juncture.

On our way home and after one of the best things Liz and I experienced (The House on the Rock) we passed through Madison, a LOVELY Cap City for sure. We were told to eat at The Old Fashioned and it TWAS delish. Now DEM Cheese Curds were DANK. They were maybe the best fried cheese I've ever had and for a thing that is pretty much impossible to make bad it is amazing how much better it can be. Go get em! I ordered another jalapeno burger which was ALSO great but different from Monk's. It was a little over seasoned and less love and care tasting...if that makes sense?

I also ordered an Old Fashioned cause, well! When in Rome, err 'Sconsin! It was indeed quite good. I'm no Old Fashioned expert but I've had a handful of Old Fashions where the liquor was a bit over powering and that wasn't the case here.

Honestly, that was about ALL I drank (sorry Alex) cause I was out with my girl and she don't drink and it's not right to be drinking alone. It makes the experience worse for both parties.

I loved Wisconsin. It was truly a cool place with great cheese. A lot of that had to do with who I explored it with. Liz and I lead some fairly busy and hectic lives so even though we live together and work in a band together we don't always get that quality time together and that's important. If you have a significant other make sure you get that in. Go on adventures, explore new places. Be patient with each other and have some GOD DAMN FUN for Christ's sake! Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. Eat like your life depended on it.

ELE,
Zach

17 Steps Forward 10 Steps Back

The Fare at Forastero

I fucked it up again guys! I regained weight because of beer during the week as well as one LATE night meal because I was drunk and hungry and needed sustenance after the fantastic play "Doppelganger" at  Steppenwolf! So, before I go into what may have been my weakest Cheat Day yet I will tell you how I am going to come back, and I want to thank a few people for calling me out while I was slipping. It keeps me in check, THANK YOU. That mixed with the weekly weigh-ins really highlight when and how I am fucking this up.

This week. 0 Beer, Strict Diet, back on the bike, plus some muscle training to get back down to sub 250!

I am going to start this Cheat Day with the bad ass meal I ate around 2AM Friday night. NO, though technically 2 AM is Saturday morning not Friday night, it does NOT count as Cheat Day. As stated before in this blog Cheat Day should begin as soon as I wake up Cheat Day morn as to not effect my weigh in, Which I am sure it did this week.

The amazingly delectable late-night meal was devoured at a new family owned establishment on North Ave. between Second City and Steppenwolf called: Forastero. Forastero boasts a lovely and new late night atmosphere, BYOB status, and a Mexican-Korean fusion. There is a high amount a care put into every dish we ordered, including something as simple as their french fries which came with a garlic aioli. French fries are a hard thing to fuck up but they are also hard to get perfect. I will say everything about these fries was perfect, down to the temperature, which stayed hot for an alarming amount of time.

The other items I tasted from this fine establishment all receive a similar praise. Everything came to the table piping hot and the dishes were packed with an intense and interesting level of flavor. My three tacos were each unique and delicious. The "Esta Camaron" was stuffed with fried shrimp some light veggie garnishes and two delicious spicy sauces: a Korean aioli and seasame sauce. Fuck my nuts off I love spicy sauces and theirs CRUSH. I also ordered the "Porky Pig" which was STUFFED with shredded pork that was so nice and juicy! I am VERY aroused. The third was a "Tinga de Pollo" because it had chorizo in it and you KNOW I love chorizo.

Finally I ordered one of their house specialties (and staff favorites) for the table: Dak Wings. These puppies were scorching hot for what felt like forever. The sauce they were covered in was hella (that's right I'm using hella now) unique and deadass to die for. It was a pomegranate molasses mixed with the spice of Guajillo and Gochugaru peppers. Seriously go check this place out! Especially if you are in that area often. You will NOT be disappointed.

The rest of my cheat food included home made smothered and covered Waffle House Hash Browns (YUMMY DUMMIES!) and a chocolate covered donut.

Side note: Be careful going to the grocery store the morning of cheat day as you are buying food that is supposed to last several meals. Not only does it leave you with tempting excess, but it also costs more than you think!

I DID go to Taco Bell to get the new Wild Naked Chicken Chalupa (meh it was fine, FILL THAT FUCKER UP WITH THAT BEEF, BELL! COME ON!). I also got a Beef Quesarito, a Chicken Quesadilla, and a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with a Doritos Locos Taco....so...sorry not sorry!

Then there was BEER, waddup Alex?! Mostly Busch Light from a can and Miller Light Pitchers from the bowling alley. "Which bowling alley you TUB OF DUMP?!"

Come on! Easy on the nicknames! If you want to bowl, please go to Timber Lanes! And that my friends wraps up this week's Cheat Day! Of course there wasn't as much to eat as usual, what with my late Friday night meal I am counting, but I still managed to eat some real nice shit! Some shitty ass shit! Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and eat like you life depended on it.

ELE,
Zach