Dinner Diner is BACK!

Hey Cheaters. Not great news...

Me After a Slinger and a Surprise OTHER Meal

"What the fuck dude! How do you start an entry like that?! Get it together!"

Sorry...I'm such a piece of SHIT I know. I can't write blogs, I can't pound nasty food, I can't drink hard, and I can't GOD DAMN diet!

"Alright man! Jeez! Don't be so hard on yourself."

Sorry guys, I'm sorry! Sometimes I drink and eat too much during the week. I gained only 2 pounds this week but for god's sake I want my goal to GET ACHIEVED! Here's what happened people, here's why I am coming down on myself HARD!

"GROSS!"

COMING down on myself hard not GOING down on myself hard, get your head out of the gutter! Anyway, I was good on the diet Monday and Tuesday. I was even off early Tuesday with time to sleep in WEDNESDAY and I felt like I maintained! Let's talk turkey and pork. This week was cook out week, OKAY. I ended up at one Tuesday night and I ate olives and hot dogs with no buns and dipped 'em in mustard, so I was GOOD there but then I drank a bunch of beers and liquor drinks...soooo fuck!

Hotties at the Cookout!

Yes that IS Italian Beef on the Burger

On Wednesday it was fuggin' the 4th, okay. The greatest holiday this country has to offer! So you KNOW I threw back several beers, some DELICIOUS jalapeno popper dip (Thanks Drew and Jacquelyne), and some Chicago mix popcorn from Mariano's. But still I thought I did okay because everything else I ate was fruit, eggs, bacon, sausages, and hot dogs. But then, thanks to the lovely holiday in the middle of the week I had a short/non-existent work week which would normally help keep this diet on track. I took off Thursday to recuperate which turned into a touch of hair of the dog, nawsay? Plus a post movie stop at Slim's in Ravenswood for a "Slim's" burger and chili-cheese fries (Side note, the Slim's burger at Slim's might be my favorite burger in town and I will feature it on a future Cheat Day. Don't Care. post). Then Friday I knocked back a few with my coworker, Leslie, after work and then, like a siren goddess, Liz called me to Dinner Diner as it had just opened the morning prior!

"NOW we're getting to the good stuff!"

FUCK YEAH homie! Dinner Diner is back and it's still the TITS. I went and I COULD HAVE stayed on diet. I COULD have ordered steak and eggs, no hash browns. I COULD have ordered a veggie omelet but Dinner Diner has been closed for over a year and a half, so I went in hard on my first go-round and ordered the BEST thing on the menu: the double bacon cheeseburger with a side of hash browns instead of fries. Cheat Week continues!

I woke up Saturday morning and thought maybe I shouldn't cheat or maybe just do like a cheat breakfast type thing cause of all the boozing and the Slimsing and the Dinner Dinering and what not. Then, the siren goddess sang once more: Let's get donuts! BOOM, that sprang me out of bed and on our way to a Dunkin in the Western Brown Line station cause it is near a delightful park where we sat and ate. After the donuts and the chilling we went and did a Chooch Chat episode and I still had a half a mind to take it easy on Cheat Day and it was kind of panning out.

After the podcast and before HITTIN' the BEACH, Man Called Tony and I knocked back about 3 left over hot dogs each...SURPRISE CHEAT! They were CHEESE FILLED bitches and I put one in a bun! NOM NOM NOM NOM CHEAT DAY! The beach was a blast. We spent about an hour in the water playing like kids then another hour+ in the sand playing like kids...we're still kids.

I have a Cheat Day secret that NO ONE knows but me. The plan was to go home and rinse off after the beach, then Tony and I were supposed to hit up Dinner Diner again and THEN go to an epic cook out at funny man Rob Wilson's apartment. All of this DID happen mind you, but what NO ONE knows is that on my way home from the beach to rinse off I stopped a Byron's Hot Dogs on Lawrence to snag me an Italian Beef sammy, fries AND a fucking Pizza Puff.

"YOU FAT SACK OF CHEATIN' ASS!"

The Slinger in ALL IT'S GLORY

I thought you'd like that one! Then I got my ass back down to Dinner Diner and ordered up a Slinger. BANG-BANG BABY! Afterwards, feeling obscenely full and lethargic as what was turning out to be yet another EPIC Cheat Day started to reach it's final act, Man Called Tony and I slow rolled to Mr. Wilson's cook out, but neither of us could eat anything even though his spread was intense. We were both, in fact, worried about being party poopers (Man Called Tony did it! I avoided it). But, Alex Romero, we did strap on our drinking bag. I crushed probably about 4 bourbon drinks: Beam and ginger, JACK and ginger (compliments of James Manno's heavy pouring hand), Jack on the rocks, and 4 Roses on the rocks. I also took down 4 beers, TWO of which I slammed while waiting for Mike Hamilton to snag a rib on his way out the door. Hamilton was VERY impressed, you should ask him about it!

After that we went back to the G's to watch Semi-Pro, hands down the best Will Ferrell movie ever made. There was more drinking. I probably had one more glass of whiskey (and some water to help balance me out). So it looks like I am going to need to put in some WORK this week. Believe in me? I believe in you! I believe you'll take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. And eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach Finch

Here's a picture of Sater eating an Ice Cream Sandwich in the Spirit of Cheat Day!