A Wrigleyville Bar Crawl?! Only on Cheat Day!

It was Liz's birthday last week Cheaters! So here's what I did on not Cheat Day that was bad:

Wednesday (8/1): Liz and I went with Soup and Rolando to the White Sox v. Royals game. It was dollar hot dog night. I ate 2.5 hot dogs, half an Italian Beef Sandwich, and about 6 beers (before the game and during).

Thursday (8/2): Liz's Birthday Eve. I left work a little early to make sure I collected a birthday cake for Liz from Sweet Mandy B's (Yellow cake and chocolate frosting). I ate some of that. I also got one of them $5 boxes of cookies from Mariano's and some of the tube icing. I ate some of that too. I also drank 6 High Life Tall boys waiting to go bowling at Timber Lanes and then I had another beer or two while at the bowling alley.

Friday (8/3): Liz's Birthday! I DID go to work. I was good most of the day. THEN, when Liz went to do The Buddy Holly Story I got a pastor burrito and a plate of nachos with chorizo. THEN, we went to Tank and the Bangas where I did not drink or eat anything bad! I stuck with water.

NOW! I woke up Cheat Day and I expected the WORST! But I lost a pound...don't ask me how! But I did, so I still Cheated! WHO-YA! I woke up late, like 11:30AM. Weighed in and didn't eat or drink anything except water. Liz and I stayed in bed until almost 2PM. It was quite perfect, it was exactly what we both wanted/needed. Eventually Liz put together some vittles for us. She threw together a brunch made entirely from farmer's market findings. We each had half a tomato atop two very full and delicious slices of multi-grain bread. On the side? Two perfectly ripened peaches. It truly was quite lovely AND pretty Cheat-a-rific. Cheat day meals don't always have to be the worst shit for you, sometimes it can be fruit and responsibly made breads!

When Liz hit the road for her two show day I headed out in search of entertainment. My idea was that I'd go pick up my bike from downtown and ride it back up to my neck of the woods. In route avid Cheat Day. Don't Care. reader, SuperBowl Champ AlexRomero, hit me up with a Cheat Day request. This is a new segment I'm going to be workshopping. I'd like to do fan requests. I'll take the first 5 each Cheat Day. The only stipulation is that the request be something that I am only allowed to eat or drink on Cheat Day.

Alex's request was that at some point during the day I drink a Jack and Coke. Well, on my way downtown I stopped by my local bodega to pick up the ingredients: 1 pint of Jack Daniels and 1 24oz Coke. I mixed up a quick one on the brown line and started to drink it. Man, what a delicious and refreshing alcoholic beverage. I gotta tell you, when Alex submitted that request I was very excited. That was JUST what the doctor ordered, so I thank you Alex!

While on the train, sipping my refreshing Jack and Coke, I got a text response from Hambone letting me know that he was in a staged reading at Ignition Fest at Victory Gardens Theater and that I should come check it out. It happened to be right on my way, and perfect timing to boot, so that is just what I did. The play was very funny, but also used some rather offensive language. Therefor I polished off the last of that Jack Daniels during the play. By the time we were going to leave the theater I was a little drunk and not really feeling like a bike ride anymore so I stuck with the group from the reading. We had Hambone, Sater, and Charlotte and we all wanted to EAT! Cheat Day baby!

We settled on DMK burger bar which was a short walk from the theater. Burgers tend to be a running theme in this blog. This is because buns and cheese and sauces are all a great things to consume on Cheat Day and hamburger is like a delicious and juicy vessel for those items. DMK produces a mean burger that's for sure. If they didn't have their head so far up their own ass I might like them more. I got the 3 & 1/2 (2x4 Hot Cheese) and it was a cheesy/zesty delight. We also got two different type of fries: sweet potato fries (which I don't like but I tried anyway cause...Cheat Day) with a most delicious and sweet/tangy Lemon Tobasco Aioli and Wisconsin Cheddar and Scallions fries with a deliciously buttery cheese sauce on top. I also had a denim bikini cocktail which was gingery, lemony, and fun as well a couple light beers.

The service was great and the atmosphere was fine. Considering we were the drunk and loud table I couldn't fault the establishment on atmosphere as they handled us great. The reason why I say their head is firmly up their own ass are the prices mostly. Good burgers, fine cocktails, but I'll make my own Jack and Cokes and grab a burger from Slim's any god damn Cheat Day of the Week!

Theeeeeen the fabulous foursome decided they weren't done drinking, so we set out on an impromptu bar crawl looking for SHOTS (Charlotte's idea). First stop, Sheffield's Beer and Wine Garden where we were NOT gonna stay cause the Cubs crowd was out in full force, but Charlotte bought us shots and we kept heading north. They did tequila, and I stuck to whiskey. Two blocks later we found ourselves at Nisei Lounge where we were hoping to find some open dart boards...we did not. So Sater bought the round of shots, we shot them and went across the street to Chicago's Blarney Stone.

THEY DID HAVE AN OPEN DART BOARD. So we hunkered down there for a minute with a round of beers. Mid-Dart game (WHICH I WON by they way!) I bought our 3rd and penultimate round of shots. After beating the shit out of the other 4 losers at darts we went to our last stop. We were hoping for G-Man Tavern to play some shit pool on a shit pool table but they completely changed everyone about their back room...which ya know, good for them, so we stopped for a shot and a beer at....

I'm gonna be honest guys, I don't remember the name of the last place we went. could have been Trace, could have been WHISK. I don't friggin know. It was on Clark just south of The Metro and they were real nice to us. Of course, we were real nice too, so...stands to reason. We sat there at the bar in a group over a beer and shot purchased by Hambone. We chatted a bit more and then we decided it'd be time to call it. We split up and I decided I'd walk on home from there to sober up a bit and maybe make a couple stops for a little more cheat food!

First stop was Wrigleyville Dogs where I drunkenly devoured a Chicago dog and a gyro. I then walked about a mile from there to the 7-11 on Clark and Montrose where I snagged a jalapeno cream cheese taquito, a taco taquito, and one of those string cheese rolled up in a piece of prosciutto and I ate that stuff as I finished the walk home.

That was it! I know, I really went for it there at the end. Ya know, it's kind of funny what you convince yourself you should do when you've convinced yourself that you're running out of time. "I won't be able to eat anything shitty like this for another whole WEEK! I should go ahead and force a taquito down my throat NOW even though I'm not very hungry!" And of course booze is always that good friend standing over your shoulder going, "yeah do it! It's gonna be so AWESOME! You're going to love it, and no one's gonna know...if you don't want them to know you actually had 4 taquitos and a sandwich to you fatty boom-buh-laddie!" Whoops! I guess I did do that! Thanks drunk Zach!

Anyway, I'm taking fan requests for what I should eat or drink this coming Cheat Day. I'm also going for a loss of 5 pounds this week! I think I should start doing that too! If I lose a goal amount of poundage I can go BUCK WILD, but if I don't meet my goal I can only have like a cheat meal! What do you guys think about THAT?! Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and eat like your life depended on it.

ELE,
Zach