Cheat Day is Epic Again!

From the movie "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story"

Cheat day was fat TITTIES this past Saturday cheaters! Now let me tell you 'bout it!

I did the right thing and quite literally had NOTHING to do all day on Saturday. I woke up late (like 10AM these adult ass days), weighed myself real quick and I lost weight! So it's ON LIKE DONKEY KONG! I weighed in at 260.6, which means I lost 3.2 pounds from last week and 2 whole pounds since week one.

www.gsoh.org

Having seen this I went straight for the freezer where Liz was stashing some of them girl scout cookies everyone's been talkin'bout. She bought three boxes for us to crush/share for cheat day. They are always a treat, but here's a hot take for you. Girl Scout cookies are the cookie equivalent to the McRib. They are great and all, but they would sell like shit if they were available all year round, just sayin'. We ate a sleeve out of a full box of Thin Mints and what was left of her Samoas as well as what was left of the new S'mores cookies she purchased earlier in the week. PRO TIP! Microwave them S'mores cookies for a few seconds and them shits get straight POPPIN'!

The cookies did a number on our Slow Carb tum-tums so we lounged about for a while before heading to make our Super Market run for the week. Here's another hot take for you. IF you cheat day people, IF YOU FUCKING CHEAT DAY, it is HIGHLY recommended you go and do your grocery run ON cheat day. Not only will you take care of your weekly groceries, but you will get to pick WHATEVER you want to eat that day. I picked out a donut (chocolate glaze with sprinkles) as well as some nacho fixings so I could make a plate to eat during the Kansas Jayhawks v Texas Tech Red Raiders. CHEAT DAY BONUS: Kansas beat Texas Tech securing their 14th straight conference title, a new NCAA record.

www.kansascity.com

frinkiac.com

After the game I took a very short nap and then Liz and I went to meet our friends Rob and Erin at the new Chicago Cider Mill & Brewery call Eris. This will be my local Chicago review for the day. I believe Eris opened at the beginning of this month and it claims the descriptor "Chicago's first cider house." Now if you are a Cheat Day Don't Care FAN, you know I ain't drinking and you know Cider ain't my drink even if I was, this means our pals Erin and Rob selected this as a destination. Turns out it was a great selection regardless of whether or not you're drinking because the food was delicious. If you are interested in how the cider was, I will give the recommendations of Erin and Rob.

Beer Cheddar Dip

To start we ordered a Savory Popcorn from their bar snacks section and a single order of Beer Cheddar Dip which came with 3 pretzel rods. The Savory Popcorn is not executed as well as it sounds on the menu. However, if I was pounding back ciders I am sure it would be just the right thing to be shoving down my fat face between gulps. What WAS executed perfectly and possibly beyond was that Beer Cheddar Dip. It quite possibly could have been the best cheese sauce/pretzel rod combo I have ever tasted. It was too good, too good and too small a portion for 4 guests. Here's a tip to any restaurant. Give 4 god damn rods. I know, I get it, you want to sell another order and it worked hook line and sinker on our dumb asses! BUT, just give us 4 god damn rods, it's not costing ya'll that much more! ASSHOLES!

Hodag

For our main course Liz and I split The Hodag off of the Hand Held Delights section of the menu. "SPLIT?! You skinny lil'bitch!" Well, look you A-holes, not only were Liz and I stuffed already from earlier, but I was dead set on hitting up one more place on this cheat day (more on this later). The Hodag was basically a gourmet Chicago Dog. It was a bacon-wrapped smoked Polish sausage, grilled french roll, carmelized onions, brown mustard, house pickled vegetables, and cilantro. It came with VERY good fries on the side. Not a bad price either at $13 as it had OBVIOUSLY fresh ingredients.

Rob got The Burger, also off the Hand Held Delights section of the menu. And he tells us, he says, that the burger was DELICIOUS! I believe him. It looks and sounds delicious. The burger comes with Sharp Cheddar (my favy fave), bacon jam, and is on a brioche bun. It was simple and delightful and again fresh ingredients! Erin got herself something off the First Bites list for her entree, the Crispy Duck Tacos, which came as 3 tacos. AGAIN, give 4 you assholes! If we had been sharing them we would have been pissed! The Crispy Duck Tacos included duck leg confit, white corn tortilla, Asian cabbage, vegetable concise, and wasabi creme. She enjoyed those as well.

The Crispy Duck Tacos

The Burger

Over all the food was delicious and fairly priced we thought for how fresh the ingredients were and how inventive, yet simple, the dishes were. Aside from the 1 hour wait!! (Holy hell) the service was top notch as well. As for the cider, Erin got three small pours and I will attempt to remember which she got and which she liked best now. Erin got 5oz pours of Chai Dar (Cider and tea, Unfiltered and fancy), Van Van Mojo (Blueberry cider dry-hopped with Mosaic. Just what the doctor ordered), and Pedestrian (Modern dry cider blended for everyone. Trip, fresh, and pleasantly tart like a glass of Granny Smith). That was easier to remember than I thought. She ranked them:

1. Pedestrian: "Who doesn't like a granny smith"

Ciders

In a close 2nd. Van Van Mojo "The Blueberry is VERY nice and sweet"
And in a DISTANT 3rd. Chai Dar "Bland, the chai tea doesn't cut it for me"

Now, I promised you a bonus section, and if you are affected by my vast social media presence you'll already know what it is...Maw'Fuggin' TACO BELL. For dessert Rob, Erin, Liz and I stopped at Taco Bell on our way home where I got and ate a chicken quesadilla, a crunch wrap supreme, and what I believe is the single best item in all of fast food the cheesy gordita crunch with a doritos locos taco instead of a plain hardshell! Always good! Always cheat-tastic!

@finchzj on Instagram

@finchzj on Instagram

BOOM! DID IT! THAT is how you cheat day! YES I was hurting, NO I do not have regrets! Now lets think of how I'm gonna top that next Cheat Day! Until next time: take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and eat like your life depended on it!






ELE,
Zach Finch

Liz enjoying the Hodag