Oh yeah, one more thing ya lousy cheater...

Taco Bell Breakfast is happening!

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An Epic Chili-Cookoff at Oomphotography

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Zach: SO! This past Cheat Day was A BLAST! The lovely Liz and I spent the day in the grocery store buying chili making supplies, then Liz MADE chili while I made pretzel bun cold cut sandwiches (which were dope). THEN the chili was entered into one of the most fun events I have been to in a while, Candice Conner's (of Oomphotography) 6th Annual Chili Cookoff!

My SEXY ass: Photo by: oomphotography.com

The Lovely Liz: oomphotography.com

                      The Conners opened up their home to 11 Chili Cooks and somewhere around 50 guests! Needless to reiterate, but I am not a fast learner, it was EPIC and delicious! And I know what you're thinking…"but Zach can't you eat Chili on NON Cheat Days?" YES, most chili's. But you may be forgetting all the cheese, sour cream, corn bread, "Italys" (Whatever those are..LOGAN), sweet potato muffins! AND BEER! Yes, of course there was beer, and I drank all the beer (like Homer, "but I need IT!"). I drank so much beer that I forgot I signed up for a beer drinking competition…that will happen St. Patty's Day weekend. So look forward to that.

Liz's chili fuckin' ROCKED. She was also the one to make corn bread…fucking AWESOME corn bread. But first the chili. Liz's chili was called, and the title will say it all, Chidester's Champion Chicken and Chorizo Chili with Chive and Cheddar Cheese. WHAT?! Your a little hard aren't you? It's okay…you can admit it, we're all friends here! You ladies have a little lady chub going too don't you?..I KNOW! That chili sounds awesome and it WAS awesome and it didn't even WIN this competition, so you can imagine how good some of the other chilies had to be.

Liz's corn bread was paired with her chili perfectly. Instead of milk she used beer in the corn bread, and she chopped up bacon and jalapenos to bake into the center of the corn bread as well. She topped the whole bunt with shredded cheddar. I could have eaten the whole loaf of bread by itself as a meal!

THE VICTOR Jacquelyn Prater: oomphotography.com

I don't know the ins and outs about the other chilies so I won't be able to go into what ingredients went into each, BUT, The winner was a chili titled Savory Sioux by Jackie Prater, and I will say that it was delicious. It was also paired perfectly with a side dish: sweet potato biscuits and honey butter. It was indeed savory, and then sweet, and then zesty! It was all in all a terrific chili and was basically the buzz of the event.

2nd Place: Mike Sater: oomphotography.com

3rd Place (1): Logan Conner: oomphotography.com

Second place went to my friend Mike Sater, I forget the title but he paired his with this avocado relish thing and some sort of cheese spread and it was delicious, unique and delicious. At 3rd place there was a tie. Logan Conner, the gentleman of the house, and a lovely woman named Dom each came in at 3rd. Logan's Chili was probably my 2nd favorite, after Liz's (I have a soft spot for chorizo…and Liz). I was told several times by contestant Brad Brubaker that it, "tasted like Slim Jims…in a good way." And I LOVE Slim Jims. Twas a beefy chili, Logan's. Beefy and spicy and I loved every minute of it. I even went back for seconds, even after I was stuffed so full of beans, meat, onion, corn, bread, cheese, sour cream, and of course…beer.

3rd Place (a): Dom: oomphotography.com

It was a fabulous night all around. I was so full I thought I was gonna die! Congrats to each contestant, specifically the winner Jackie. Congrats to all 50 judges (attendees) for being smart enough to attend such an event. But, most of all, congrats to Candice Conner for organizing it. A great time was had by all. I am already looking forward to next year's cookoff. I'd be honored to be the happy helper once more. I would hate to have to use the OTHER immortal words of Homer Simpson, "We're missing the cook-off, it's going on right now and we're missing it…"

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Valentine's Day Eat Fest!

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Zach: I love you cheaters! I just have to get that out there while it's still love day. So last Cheat Day was a low key "Cheap" Day where the Lovely Liz and I just bought grocery cheat items. These days are often the best Cheat Days. You can each get whatever the fuck you want, just separate. We got cheese and chocolate and macaroni and crackers and hummus (which you CAN eat on a normal day but not a lot and lets face it why eat hummus if you can't knock out that whole fucking container?!)

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This Cheat Day is not going to be much different. And no, to all who are wondering we ain't switching no Cheat Day to Valentine's Day. We're getting half-price chocolate tomorrow and we'll enjoy a delicious non-cheat meal tonight with some red wine, which you can drink on not cheat day! Here's what to eat on a non-cheat Valentine's Day: Salad (no fuggin shit), Italian Sausage, Tri-colored peppers, Broccoli, and fuggin black beans, perhaps a little coffee as an after dinner beverage. "What about dessert?" HEY SHUT UP! Stop trying to keep winners from winning alright?! We'll get to dessert the next day when we wake up and pound heart shaped chocolate and donuts in bed like we have our own too fat to leave the house A&E show!


Alrighty cheaters. This is a short one. If we do anything fancy tomorrow you'll read about it next week. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day from Zach and Liz.

Ice Skating

CHILI CHEESE BURRITO IS BACK!

Zach: Good not CheatDay, Cheaters! I hope you are all getting a long just fine on this non-cheat day as I am. So, it seems as though I was lazy last week and I have two awesome Chicago CheatDays to cover. But first! IN OTHER NEWS!:

How bout that shitty Super Bowl huh? It reminded me of the Super bores from the days of yores!

Also, poor poor P.S.H. He seemed like a man who lived every day like it were CheatDay. Fantastic actor and I am certain that I will look at some movie parts, excluding the void he'll leave in that WAY too popular Hunger Games series, and think to myself, "Boy Phillip Seymour Hoffman would have KILLED that part." RIP you talented M-Fer.

Now on to the cheating! Two Saturdays ago, long before this horrible Super Bowl or the giant empty characterish slot P.S.H. left in the acting world , the lovely Liz and I went to Spacca Napoli Pizzeria for a lovely CheatDay luncheon. Spacca Napoli is a Naples, ITL style pizza joint. Now, if you didn't know (which I did NOT before last Saturday) Naples style pizza is thin crust and small, almost personal style. Ladies or small men you may want to share a single pizza unless you've got a big me sized man with you to pick up the slack.

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Because it was god damned CheatDay we EACH got a pizza and we split them down the middle. We ordered the Diavola topped with Buffalo mozzarella, spicy salami, red pepper flakes, and basil. I highly recommend this Diavola if you go in. It was tangy but not too tangy and saucy and just so damned flavorful. I would use more adjectives like on the food network but just try it alright! c'mahn whaddya want from me! It was good that's all you need to know.

We also ordered the Prosciutto e Rucola. This was a decent olive oil sauced pizza that was made glorious by the thin savory, melt-in-your mouth cuts of prosciutto that is was topped with. It also had arugula on it…A LOT of arugula on it. I happen to like arugula, but if you don't, don't order this one. We each had a couple Peroni to…ya know…fit in I guess? Peroni, I think may be the only beer that tastes better to me in a bottle as opposed to on tap. (fun fact)

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All in all Spacca Napoli was a great time. It was a bit pricey but it is perfect for a date or if you have a family it would be a bit more affordable. Just share your, perhaps a bit to big for one person, pizza with your little children and tell them to SHUT THEIR UGLY FACES while you're at it. OH, and go see Inside Llewyn Davis, great movie great soundtrack.

Three days ago the Kansas Jayhawks got dicks kicked in Austin, Texas by the Longhorns and I got Taco Bell. NEWSFLASH T-B FANS! The Chili-Cheese Burrito is back! I repeat! THE CHILI-CHEESE BURRITO IS BACK! If you are reading this, get off your ass NOW and go get one so they stick around this time…for FUCK sake. I have a long drawn out history with the chili-cheese burrito, affectionately known as the chilito to midwesterners.

The chilito was my favorite food in the world as a little fat kid. "Where do you want to go for your birthday dinner?" my mom would ask year in and year out from the age of 10 until about age 18. "Taco Bell!" fat little Zach would exclaim while he stuffed another homemade nacho into his dumb mouth. Then suddenly the chilito was gone from the local Taco Bell menu where I grew up in Stafford, VA. I was outraged! I drafted a letter demanding them to bring the chilito back to the Virginia Taco Bell. I never sent it...

Then, later that year, my friends went off to Virginia Tech. Much to my surprise, and delight, the Blacksburg, VA Taco Bell menu you featured my old friend, the CHILITO! Even though it wasn't something I could have all the time, as Blackburg, VA is approximately a 4 hour drive from ANYWHERE on the fucking PLANET, it was still a welcomed moderate dose of what is certainly Taco Bell's grade D meat about to spoil so they used for another purpose, the CHILITO!

IN ALL IT'S SIMPLE GLORY (Pintrest.com)

Finally, before my friends graduated from Virginia Tech it was stricken from that Taco Bell menu as well. I was devastated. It seemed as though I'd never get another chilito as long as I lived. But wait! Once more! On a visit to the midwest, specifically Indiana, even MORE specifically Indianapolis, my uncle Dan informed me that the "chilito" was NEVER taken off of the midwestern Taco Bell menus and that we could go and get one RIGHT NOW if we wanted too, which we did. (Side note, the fact that it was never taken from the midwestern menu is a bit telling idn't?!)

Jump ahead a couple years. I move to Chicago. I visit my Indianan relatives. I DEMAND they take me to a Taco Bell to find a Chilito…it's nowhere to be found, gone from their menus as well…once again I am of the thought that I will never see the cherished chilito again…until 2 weeks ago…when a good friend from high school and a Virginia Tech alum texted me and informed me that the Chili Cheese was back. I told him I would go in and make sure they were in the Chicago locations myself and report back to him. Sure enough…he was right!



I know they are back in New York and Chicago, now it is up to you to tell me America..and WORLD! Is the Chili-cheese burrito back in action in your home town. Go to Taco Bell, your next cheat day to find out why the Chilito was and IS my favorite food of all time. And then be sure to ask yourself…why was this ever taken off of the menu to start with?!