Wild and Wonderful Cheat Day

Sup Skeeter Cheaters! I am back from the wild, wonderful, AND weird West Virginia. I was there for a short Chidester family vacation! To start I want to thank Trish and Jim Chidester for having me along for the ride!

Before I GET. INTO IT! I need to do some unpleasant housekeeping for all you Cheaters out there. I am a big fat tub of lard and I have to be in a wedding party in Mid/Late-Sept so as of today I am not going to be Cheat Daying OR Drinking alcohol until September 22nd. I'll still check in on you guys with maybe the occasional cheat meal here and there over the next couple of weeks. I haven't weighed in this week as I never saw a scale in the cabin I was staying in. So...sorry.

Not quite as pictured

It should be no surprise that they had no scale as I was without any sort of phone service or wifi for about 2.5 days while I was there. Wild indeed West Virginia, wild indeed. I left Chicago Wednesday morning for strange territories. I didn't exactly start cheating until Thursday though. The food on the drive Wednesday included some jerky, a buffalo chicken salad from Chili's, and a cup of chili from Chili's. Other than that I drank waters, LaCroix's, and an energy drink I had never had before called "Bang" which I am told is pretty natural, so I kept it pretty legit on Wednesday. The drive itself was fun though! Lauren, Al, and I made road trip playlists and chatted. Al drove for me the last 3 hours. OH, when he was driving Lauren and I DID split a bottle of sparkling white wine he brought back with him from Austin, so that was pretty cool.

Thursday I woke up in Bedford, VA at the Chidester estate. We were whisked away quite quickly to Farmville, VA where lovely Liz's cousin Anne had just started college at Longwood University. We ate at a place called Charley's Waterfront Cafe which was in a delightful old Mill near the river that runs through Farmville. I had the lunch special of the day, a buffalo chicken wrap with a cup of chicken enchilada soup. As you can probably tell I was trying my best to cling on to NOT cheating even though the wrap was a tortilla and there were tortilla strips in the soup...but so it goes when you're on a wild and wonderful trip. And what happens next will ASTONISH YOU!

Behind the Chidester Estate

When we got back to the Chidester estate in Bedford, VA WE. ATE. AGAIN! AH! This time burgers, dogs, and sausages! I had a burger, a hot dog, AND a sausage as well as TWO helpings of delicious pasta salad courtesy of Uncle Tom Chidester. After that we stayed seated at the table for an Italian Cream Cake...you know how you ASK for a small piece of cake, cause you don't really have a sweet tooth and you just want a taste, but the person cutting the cake don't believe dat shit cause you a big tall fat dude! That happened again, and YES I finished it! CAUSE MAMA RAISED ME RIGHT! FUCK! So now it's on. Cheat Weekend started Thursday.

The next morning we were woke up at round 8AM fur breakfast and a 9:30AM drive time to Durbin, WV. Brickfist was mild: scrambled eggs WITH mozzarella (CHEATN' S'more)! The drive was about 3.5 hours. We lost cell signal abruptly as we neared Durbin and I did not get it back until Sunday afternoon on our way back to Chicago near Charleston, WV. I'm told there is no cell signal in Durbin and surrounding areas due to the Green Bank Observatory which is a tower built to listen for sounds in space. Weird Wild Stuff West Virginia.

We got to Durbin to ride an old time chooch chooch train called the Durbin Rocket. Before getting on the train we had about 15 minutes to stuff our faces with left overs from Thursday's BBQ out of the trunk of the car. I stuffed a cold burger in my face and slammed another dog, another sausage and a fist full of Frito Scoops. I washed it all down with two scoops of mint chocolate chip from the lil'gift shop across from the train. The train didn't rocket, but it WAS delightful. I recommend something like this as it is unique in it's Americana, so for you folks who enjoy history give her a go! Warning for my friends of color: it MAY get uncomfortable in the region.


Post train ride we drove about another hour/hour and a half to Marlinton, WV where the cabin was. Marlinton is a tiny lil'ol'mountain lumber town with two restaurants, a liquor store, an IGA grocery store, a dollar store, a state farm insurance broker, a bait and tackle shop, a cafe/bike rental place and an OPERA HOUSE of all things. After unloading our stuff into the cabin we made a quick grocery/liquor store run. We got some Jacked Buffalo/Blue Cheese Doritos, some Veggie chips, some Oreo's, more Fritos, and some Ritz Sea Salt Crisps to go with the Colby Jack and French Onion Dip we already had back at the house. We got a 12 pack of Bud Light pints, a 4 pack Big Timber Brewing Company's IPA, and a turpentine can of Stillhouse "Moonshine". Our dinner consisted of the aforementioned snacks as well as the remaining pasta salad, burgers, brats, and dogs from the previous two meals. That's right...three meals total of burgers, brats, dogs and pasta salad and to be honest, this Cheater ain't exactly complaining. I also could not STOP stuffing my face full of crackers and cheese and JACKED Doritos.

The Big Timber IPA was fine, nothing to write home about and the "'SHINE" was kind of gross, until you mixed it with just about anything, including water. I think it was worth it just for the gimmick of drinking liquor out of a turpentine can.

We awoke the next morning (SATURDAY, Cheat Day OFFICIAL) for some cheesy eggs and bacon (not too cheaty...so that's good...I guess?). And we went off for a bike ride. We rented bikes from Dirtbean Cafe and Bike Shop. While we waited for them to set us up we ordered ice coffees which were nice and for the ride I bought a six pack of the local Mountain State Brewing Co.'s Almost Heaven Amber Ale for the ride and it was god damn DELICIOUS. AND. the perfect beer to take on a warm bike ride through an old rail trail in the mountains. Also, just for fun trivia, it's named after a sunshine on my GOD DAMN SHOULDERS John Denver song.

After the bike ride we showered and went to the local spot Greenbrier Grill and Lodge where I took down a turn at the salad bar, which had old southern cookout classic Pistachio Pudding featured as both a starter AND dessert for the meal. My main course? Chicken Penne Alfredo. It was actually delicious and DAMN cheesy and creamy and buttery and cheaty! The restaurant was fun. You could buy 50 cent bags of corn to feed ducks who hung by on the adjacent Greenbrier River. We mingled with the locals after their peewee football game, one young ragamuffin was actually, honest to god, named Skeeter. You've just gotta love it. If you find yourself in Marlinton, WV try the Greenbrier Grill and Lodge, if you don't want to your only other option is the new Alfredo's Italian and Greek restaurant.

We walked their tiny lil'town area for a minute after the meal and went home for some ice cream and a bonfire. On this evening the drinkers of the group partook in some Bell's Two Hearted Ales and some...Bud Light Orange, which would have been a total bust if we didn't spike it with a little of that SHINE.

We awoke once again the next morning to some bacon, eggs, and this time some home fries! Yumma-dumdum. This was the day we had to drive our asses all the way back to Chicago. On the road trip we polished off several bags of chips, including: white cheddar popcorn, lays jalapeño kettle chips, and of course some more Fritos. I went to Tim Hortons for the first time and tried a bite of a cream filled donut as well as a tuscan chicken panini. It was all fine, but it was truly eerily similar to Dunking Donuts. Our one big stop before making it back to Chicago was at the Wisconsin based chain Culver's.

I had never been to Culver's so this was a real treat for me. Their Double Cheddar Bacon Butter Burger was possibly top three fast food burgers I've had and the spicy chicken sandwich was the closest thing to the original Wendy's Spicy Chicken I've ever had. The ice creams were good, though they melted quickly. I had a shake stuffed with Oreo. Their fried cheese curds were exactly what you'd expect from a fast food chain. I'd go there again I reckon. Next road trip maybe...

Here I sit, regaling all you healthy voyeurs with tails of FAT from the road thinking to myself... it is time to rest. It hasn't been working. I will see how much I weigh this coming Cheat Day and decide if I even deserve a Cheat MEAL but I know that for sure I do not deserve a Cheat Day. I must be in tip top shape and appearance for the day of Bobby Cheese's wedding so I will fast and abstain from alcohol consumption. Please understand friends. I will be back after September 22nd at the latest. Cheat Day will not leave forever. Take care of yourselves in order to take care of each other. Also, eat like your life depended on it.

ELE,
Zach

BaCHEATlor ParDAY

Hey Cheaturds! I didn't really cheat that hard on Cheat Day on account of I didn't lose any weight. Also, I am not going to cut my hair until I am 220 lbs! WHAT ABOUT THAT?!

What DID happen is we had a bachelor party for ROB FENTON and we went on a boat! It was awesome! Sausage KING Logan Conner cooked up some MEAN sausages which I put on a roll and covered in giardiniera and mustard. (I know, not VERY Cheat-like, but they were delicious)

What WAS Cheat-like were the copious amounts of alcohol! The tastiest of which was some Cabo Wabo Tequila which made it out to the lake and was passed around for the sipping. Oh, the boat had a slide off the back of it, which was awesome!

I also had Jim Beam, Tecates, Coors Lights, Trulys flavored water alcohol drink thing (which was indeed pretty clutch on that boat in the sun) and of course some Red Bulls.

OH OH! When we got off the boat Awesome Abby and Jackie the Jerk made us mini tacos, lil'mini dumplings and chips and salsa/guacamole at Yousof and Abby's beautiful home! That was pretty clutch too, amidst all the drinking!

I can't tell you anything else, cause it was a bachelor party and all the GOOD stuff will live only in the minds and hearts of all of us bachelors long after we're dead (married) ourselves. Congrats to Rob Fenton on getting hitched! I'm sure the fun won't stop regardless of marriage, though I am sure it will slow a little...as it should! Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, eat like your life depended on it!

ELE,
Zach

THEY CAME FOR CHEAT DAY!

Pie in the Park

OOOOOH BOY Cheaters! What a fantastically fun filled entry do I have for you this week! I had my very first Cheat Day. Don't Care. fans/friends make a trip ALL THE WAY to Chicago from Virginia JUST to experience Cheat Day with me! Well...not really JUST for that, they also wanted to catch a concert that wasn't coming to the east coast and they've never been here before and they wanted to check it out and well...SHUT UP! A boy can dream can't he?! THEY CAME FOR CHEAT DAY!

Chooch Chat

Stephen Kolberg and Jennifer Lamendola were my college roommates and now they are married. It's been a long time since we've seen each other and a WAY longer time since we've actually hung out so the whole thing has been a serious treat for me as well. They landed at my placed on Cheat Morning at around 10:30AM. We waited around a bit for Liz to be ready to GET THIS CHEAT DAY GOING!

We started at my NEW SPOT OF THE WEEK! I have been to Bang Bang Pie and Biscuits a few times just for fun and before this diet and it was always delectable. Before getting in to the vastness of this flavor country I want to take it down a notch or two. It's simply cramped. That is totally not unheard of in this town as it IS a city and it has to fit many buildings into each block so some joints open up into locations that are just a bit too small for the eventual boom in business. Otherwise Bang Bang, GOOD SHOW! Also, special shout out to my home boy Trevor! It's always great to see you bud, sorry it doesn't happen too often!

I ATE a Buffalo Chicken Pot Pie for my meal. The others got a sausage biscuit with cheddar cheese and a seasonal jam, and biscuits and gravy with sausage and egg. I got to try it all and it was all glorious. I loved the pot pie, though it was a bit too blue cheesy for my taste. If you love blue cheese EAT DAT SHIT MOTHER FUGGLER! The biscuits were amazing.

NOW LET'S TALK PIE! We got three slices to split between 4 people. We got their Honey Pie (baked honey custard, blueberry compote, graham crust), Black and Blue Pie (blackberries, blueberries, orange brown sugar crumble, leaf lard pastry crust) and Chocolate Puddin' Pie (chocolate pudding, whipped cream, graham crust). MY FAVORITE?! The chocolate puddin' pie. However, I think the consensus was pretty split across the board.

MOVING ON! There were a few grumbling about not eating enough of this or not eating enough of that, but I gotta tell you, that first meat packed quite a punch and these two SKINNY PUNKS had a long way to go with Ol'ZACH at the helm. I'm not saying I paced myself for their sake necessarily because I am trying to get into the habit of pacing myself in general. BUT, you listen to what we ate the rest of the day and YOU TELL ME!

We didn't eat for quite a while after that, but we did stop to meet Cheat Day Pal, Soup (sorry I never drank that Malort your Cheat Day requests are reinstated), at Hopleaf for some brews. I had 2 Zombiedusts from Three Floyds and 2 Double Daisy Cutters from Half Acre. I REALLY enjoyed those Double Daisy Cutters, espcially for 8%ers.

Next, BOOM Jet's Pizza. The three of us split a small, two each ya tallywackers! Guess what, THEY FUCKING LOVED IT. Because who FRIGGIN doesn't?! NO ONE that's who! YOU TWATS! GO. TO. JET'S. PIZZA! We had a Hawaiian with jalapeno.

Almost immediately from there we went to (ANOTHER NEW PLACE) Big Star so we could slam a pitcher of margaritas and two TACOS each. It was a day of twos and and it was about the perfect amount! I ate a Taco De Panza (crispy braised pork belly, tomato guajillo sauce, queso fresco, onion, cilantro) and a Taco Al Pastor (marinated spit roasted pork shoulder, grilled pineapple, grilled onion, cilantro). I gotta tell ya, I like them, they were priced fairly I thought for as big this restaurant is, but I've had MUCH better tacos in a city that is just jammed packed with delicious and authentic Mexican food.

A post-Big Star mini-bar crawl ensued. We did a shot and a beer at G-Man Tavern, then a shot and a beer at Ten Cat where we eventually met up with Liz. Once Liz arrived I had several more beers. (Mostly PBRs across the board Alex, sorry it was nothing fancy).

Now, I'm gonna let ya'll guess what happens next!

Cheat Day carried over a bit into the next day when we ate at Ramen Wasabi and then made a rather LATE NIGHT Taco Bell Cantina run. Thanks for visiting Stephen and Jennifer. You know how I know we are great friends who made a connection that will last the rest of our lives? Our hanging out never skipped a god damn beat. It was almost like we were back in college again (most of the time anyway). We made the same old jokes, new jokes of the same style, new jokes of a DIFFERENT style and talked about all sorts of people we used to know and still know! We also talked about real shit about being grown up and the way things change and how to cope.

Take care of yourselves. If you do it'll better prepare you to take care of each other. And always eat like your life depended on it.

ELE,
Zach Finch

Dinner Diner

In Place of Stephen eating, a Slinger

Eat It Up

A Wrigleyville Bar Crawl?! Only on Cheat Day!

It was Liz's birthday last week Cheaters! So here's what I did on not Cheat Day that was bad:

Wednesday (8/1): Liz and I went with Soup and Rolando to the White Sox v. Royals game. It was dollar hot dog night. I ate 2.5 hot dogs, half an Italian Beef Sandwich, and about 6 beers (before the game and during).

Thursday (8/2): Liz's Birthday Eve. I left work a little early to make sure I collected a birthday cake for Liz from Sweet Mandy B's (Yellow cake and chocolate frosting). I ate some of that. I also got one of them $5 boxes of cookies from Mariano's and some of the tube icing. I ate some of that too. I also drank 6 High Life Tall boys waiting to go bowling at Timber Lanes and then I had another beer or two while at the bowling alley.

Friday (8/3): Liz's Birthday! I DID go to work. I was good most of the day. THEN, when Liz went to do The Buddy Holly Story I got a pastor burrito and a plate of nachos with chorizo. THEN, we went to Tank and the Bangas where I did not drink or eat anything bad! I stuck with water.

NOW! I woke up Cheat Day and I expected the WORST! But I lost a pound...don't ask me how! But I did, so I still Cheated! WHO-YA! I woke up late, like 11:30AM. Weighed in and didn't eat or drink anything except water. Liz and I stayed in bed until almost 2PM. It was quite perfect, it was exactly what we both wanted/needed. Eventually Liz put together some vittles for us. She threw together a brunch made entirely from farmer's market findings. We each had half a tomato atop two very full and delicious slices of multi-grain bread. On the side? Two perfectly ripened peaches. It truly was quite lovely AND pretty Cheat-a-rific. Cheat day meals don't always have to be the worst shit for you, sometimes it can be fruit and responsibly made breads!

When Liz hit the road for her two show day I headed out in search of entertainment. My idea was that I'd go pick up my bike from downtown and ride it back up to my neck of the woods. In route avid Cheat Day. Don't Care. reader, SuperBowl Champ AlexRomero, hit me up with a Cheat Day request. This is a new segment I'm going to be workshopping. I'd like to do fan requests. I'll take the first 5 each Cheat Day. The only stipulation is that the request be something that I am only allowed to eat or drink on Cheat Day.

Alex's request was that at some point during the day I drink a Jack and Coke. Well, on my way downtown I stopped by my local bodega to pick up the ingredients: 1 pint of Jack Daniels and 1 24oz Coke. I mixed up a quick one on the brown line and started to drink it. Man, what a delicious and refreshing alcoholic beverage. I gotta tell you, when Alex submitted that request I was very excited. That was JUST what the doctor ordered, so I thank you Alex!

While on the train, sipping my refreshing Jack and Coke, I got a text response from Hambone letting me know that he was in a staged reading at Ignition Fest at Victory Gardens Theater and that I should come check it out. It happened to be right on my way, and perfect timing to boot, so that is just what I did. The play was very funny, but also used some rather offensive language. Therefor I polished off the last of that Jack Daniels during the play. By the time we were going to leave the theater I was a little drunk and not really feeling like a bike ride anymore so I stuck with the group from the reading. We had Hambone, Sater, and Charlotte and we all wanted to EAT! Cheat Day baby!

We settled on DMK burger bar which was a short walk from the theater. Burgers tend to be a running theme in this blog. This is because buns and cheese and sauces are all a great things to consume on Cheat Day and hamburger is like a delicious and juicy vessel for those items. DMK produces a mean burger that's for sure. If they didn't have their head so far up their own ass I might like them more. I got the 3 & 1/2 (2x4 Hot Cheese) and it was a cheesy/zesty delight. We also got two different type of fries: sweet potato fries (which I don't like but I tried anyway cause...Cheat Day) with a most delicious and sweet/tangy Lemon Tobasco Aioli and Wisconsin Cheddar and Scallions fries with a deliciously buttery cheese sauce on top. I also had a denim bikini cocktail which was gingery, lemony, and fun as well a couple light beers.

The service was great and the atmosphere was fine. Considering we were the drunk and loud table I couldn't fault the establishment on atmosphere as they handled us great. The reason why I say their head is firmly up their own ass are the prices mostly. Good burgers, fine cocktails, but I'll make my own Jack and Cokes and grab a burger from Slim's any god damn Cheat Day of the Week!

Theeeeeen the fabulous foursome decided they weren't done drinking, so we set out on an impromptu bar crawl looking for SHOTS (Charlotte's idea). First stop, Sheffield's Beer and Wine Garden where we were NOT gonna stay cause the Cubs crowd was out in full force, but Charlotte bought us shots and we kept heading north. They did tequila, and I stuck to whiskey. Two blocks later we found ourselves at Nisei Lounge where we were hoping to find some open dart boards...we did not. So Sater bought the round of shots, we shot them and went across the street to Chicago's Blarney Stone.

THEY DID HAVE AN OPEN DART BOARD. So we hunkered down there for a minute with a round of beers. Mid-Dart game (WHICH I WON by they way!) I bought our 3rd and penultimate round of shots. After beating the shit out of the other 4 losers at darts we went to our last stop. We were hoping for G-Man Tavern to play some shit pool on a shit pool table but they completely changed everyone about their back room...which ya know, good for them, so we stopped for a shot and a beer at....

I'm gonna be honest guys, I don't remember the name of the last place we went. could have been Trace, could have been WHISK. I don't friggin know. It was on Clark just south of The Metro and they were real nice to us. Of course, we were real nice too, so...stands to reason. We sat there at the bar in a group over a beer and shot purchased by Hambone. We chatted a bit more and then we decided it'd be time to call it. We split up and I decided I'd walk on home from there to sober up a bit and maybe make a couple stops for a little more cheat food!

First stop was Wrigleyville Dogs where I drunkenly devoured a Chicago dog and a gyro. I then walked about a mile from there to the 7-11 on Clark and Montrose where I snagged a jalapeno cream cheese taquito, a taco taquito, and one of those string cheese rolled up in a piece of prosciutto and I ate that stuff as I finished the walk home.

That was it! I know, I really went for it there at the end. Ya know, it's kind of funny what you convince yourself you should do when you've convinced yourself that you're running out of time. "I won't be able to eat anything shitty like this for another whole WEEK! I should go ahead and force a taquito down my throat NOW even though I'm not very hungry!" And of course booze is always that good friend standing over your shoulder going, "yeah do it! It's gonna be so AWESOME! You're going to love it, and no one's gonna know...if you don't want them to know you actually had 4 taquitos and a sandwich to you fatty boom-buh-laddie!" Whoops! I guess I did do that! Thanks drunk Zach!

Anyway, I'm taking fan requests for what I should eat or drink this coming Cheat Day. I'm also going for a loss of 5 pounds this week! I think I should start doing that too! If I lose a goal amount of poundage I can go BUCK WILD, but if I don't meet my goal I can only have like a cheat meal! What do you guys think about THAT?! Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and eat like your life depended on it.

ELE,
Zach