GOOD DAY Cheaters! I know, I FUCKING KNOW! I missed Memorial Day weekend Cheat Day! I get it! You had nothing to read ON Memorial Day! Well you shouldn't have been reading anyway, you should have been HONORING THE TROOPS! If you were gonna read anything it should have been WWII books or anything by Tom Clancy. You don't want to hear about that Cheat Day anyway, because that Cheat Day was meh on account I ended up kind of spreading it out into a Cheat Weekend, as I ate a bunch of fruit and cheese on Memorial Day.
Now I say LAST Cheat Day sucked but this one kind of sucked a fat one too. (How do you KIND OF suck a fat one?) Oh, you'll find out... It Sucked as in it was HIGHLY uninteresting, so I'm going to try to gussy this post up with as much flowery language as I possibly can. As you know I've got to start with the weigh in! I am down 8 pound from 2 weeks ago! This means I have been sub 250 for 2 weeks straight. It feels good too. I HATE 250lbs. 250lbs feels FAT. Soooooo FAT. Fatty Fatty Buttcrack!
I accomplished this 8 pound loss by OF COURSE sticking pretty decently to the slow carb diet but ALSO biking hard miles along the lake shore trail daily, and pumping out some daily push ups. I hope to further my work out regimen as time goes on and weight gets harder to lose!
"ZACH! SHUT UP AND TELL US HOW YOU REALLY LOST DEM POUNDS!"
I also got a bagel that was covered in toasted cheddar/asiago cheese and jalapeños. I bought this bagel because I was fixin' on fixing me up a bagel breakfast sandwich back at home! I also got some sliced munster cheese to add to that bad boy. This breakfast sandwich may have been one of, if not THE best sandwich I ever personally crafted for myself. Aside from the delicious bagel you're talking scrambled eggs, hard salami, Frank's red hot, and of course dat munster cheese was melted onto the bagel AND onto the eggs, it doesn't look like much but... mmmmawwwwgggggg. Sweet mother of mercy I want another one RIGHT NOW!I didn't get to go anywhere new this past Cheat Day. I KNOW, I'm a failure! Well if you're so smart tell me where I should go next week! I dare you! And I'll tell you how friggin right or wrong your were! Where DID I go? I'll give you 3 guesses...
No, not Chuck E. Cheese! Dorks, I'm an adult!
No! Not Fudruckers! GROSS!
WHAT?! God you're stupid, it definitely wasn't Chili's! Although that's my favorite chain restaurant so I'll award you half a point for that.
IT WAS TACO BELL, DER! I did it again! I HAD TO! It was on my way home from my mid-day improv class. And there's only one way that Taco Bell tastes any better than usual and that is after being SO funny on a Cheat Day afternoon. I got the usual...
You know what the usual is! YES, you do! I'm not explaining it again! Go back and read like literally any other post and you'll know what I ordered! Jesus! I will say that I need to re-evaluate how I order Taco Bell. Right now I get 4, that's right 4! premium items which makes my bill an obscenely high amount for one man at Taco Bell. This ain't the right way to go about things when we all know it's the same 3 ingredients inside each menu item anyway, whether it's off the "Cravings Menu" costing only a dollar or off the regular menu costing $3 to $8.
The funny thing about this trip to TB is that while at the Bell my sweet lady Liz had gotten back from her gig and started making us quesadillas with the left over tortillas from last Cheat Day's breakfast burritos, what was left of the morning's munster cheese, and the remaining kabobs from Memorial Day. Did I eat one after stuffing my face full of Bell less than an hour prior? You bet your hot tits I did! AND I dipped it in Tostitos chili con queso. MMM, disgusting and delicious....and disgusting.
After that there wasn't much else I consumed that wasn't beer. I drank a bunch at my friend Andrew Campbell's improv show then we went to Nick's on Wilson to drink a few more beers. We got pretty drunk but left before 1AM like responsible adults! Here's the beers I drank:
5 High Life Tallboys
2 Shiner Bocks
1 Old Style Tallboy
1 PBR
2 Three Floyds Alpha King
Is that a lot? Prolly, but FUCK IT, cause I biked home, avoiding rain, and I didn't get ANYTHING ELSE to eat! How do you like dem apples! I'm a responsible drunken Cheat Dayer! That will also help me lose weight quicker is having a nice lil'cut off to my shenanigans in the evening. 200lbs here I come! Is 200 to low for old Zach? Do you think I'd be awkwardly skinny? I am quite tall and generally I have a large build. If I have a bunch of muscles it might be REAL hard to get to 200. What do YOU think?! This is an open forum here! Leave a comment! Also take care of yourselves! Take care of each other! And eat like your life depended on it!
ELE,
Zach
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