We Came We Saw We CLLAW-nquered

https://www.facebook.com/ChicagoCLLAW, The Aluminum Monster in Back!

Zach: Good day cheaters! I am here to tell the tale of a strange STRANGE Cheat Day last Saturday. Liz signed up to compete in CLLAW XVIII, that is Chicago's League of Lady Arm Wrestling Eighteen for the lay-pers, and we had a lot to accomplish that day as far as gathering various materials for the event. Things like props, costume pieces, and friends for our entourage we needed to accrue. Liz's arm wrestling character? "The Aluminum Monster" from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." I went as Mac from the show who was also Liz's manager and head of security that night. We got friends Nick Bacon, Mike Fletcher, and Mike Sater to fill out the rest of the gang from the diabolically humorous show. But I digress, my point is we had a lot to do.

We were awoken that morning to blaring music and the sound of the apartment below her's being demolished at 8:30am. We were both very tired. Soon her apartment started filling with demo dust from the walls and ceiling of this 100-110 year old building and something had to be done. Liz ran downstairs to inform the men at work that there were in fact still people living in the apartment above them and that their handy work was causing it to fill with, potentially hazardous, dust. They immediately stopped and were apologetic. They were very nice and admitted that they were not even aware anyone was living there. Some fucking landlord, amirite?

Liz's landlord arrived about an hour later and immediately jumped on the defensive. "What dust?" he asked. Without getting overly angered Liz and I pointed…UH FUCKING EVERYWHERE! The landlord saw an imprint of my ass on a black leather chair where I sat moments before and was sold..FINALLY. Later he made mention that he could feel it in his mouth. Yeah, no SHIT. He said the demolition would cease until they fixed the ancient ventilation system still in operation in the building from the turn of last century. There was dust because of demolition, there was a hazardous amount of dust because the heating system connected the two apartments essentially.

Masks were purchased for us by the kind crewman

He also claimed there would be a cleaning crew arriving with "equipment" to get rid of the mess. About half an hour later just ONE of the very nice gentleman from the demolition crew came through the door with his hood up, ash on his face, and one comically oversized sponge in his hand and said with a sad apologetic inflection, "My boss told me I have to clean your apartment." Liz, Jacob, and I drew enough energy to let out a single laugh each and all of us got to work.

Liz and the crewman took to cleaning the apartment. Jacob and I took off for the hardware store to get extra cleaning supplies and prop items for CLLAW. We then stopped to get a dozen donuts at Dunkin Donuts (CHEAT DAY!). While the three of them cleaned and rearranged the apartment I went off to complete the errands for CLLAW.

I met back up with them at their apartment and the place looked great but dust continued to settle and probably will for a while to come still. Liz's roommate Justin ordered us a couple of pizzas from Chicago's on Montrose around the corner from their house. It was good. He also got us beer, STIEGL! and booze as a thank you for taking care of shit that day. (CHEAT DAY M-EFFERS).

So now the demolition has stopped in the apartment below Liz's but renovation has begun IN her apartment. Her landlord refuses to give them notice as to when men will be roaming in and out of their apartment or any sort of schedule or plan for the building whatsoever. They took off the interior door leading to the staircase which leads directly into the outdoors making the apartment intensely cold and near impossible to heat.

I know this is a blog about food and eating and then NOT eating…but this edition has turned into this rant. Does anyone know if there is anything Liz and her roommates can do to say. NO, you can't come in here without notice. Or SURE, come in and renovate while we live here but everyday you do it is a day off of rent? The building was sold in the middle of their lease and I suppose their lease is basically grandfathered into the deed of the building or something like that? Any advice would be helpful to Liz and her roommates!

So later CLLAW XVIII went off without a hitch and ended up being the most successful CLLAW they have had yet, some 700 people showed up. People got a kick out of The Aluminum Monster and the gang. We drank more beer and had a non-Cheat Day red wine…but it was in a CAN! Cheat Day forever EM-EFFERS!

GO TO CLLAW!