Running out of Cheat Days…Thanksgiving Preview

Zach: Hi Cheaters! So last Cheat Day we pretty anti-climactic. Cheat Day has indeed become imbedded in my mind and in my soul as a day to gorge myself almost to the point on incapacitation. However, this has become less of a celebratory thing as the weight has ceased it's dropping. With the Holiday Season coming up and my weight loss hitting a plateau I fear that the life of Cheat Day may have an impending end. For now I will continue to report on the proper ways of cheating. I will also seek an altered method of Cheat Day so that poundage will continue to shed!

NOW, last cheat day….I ate cookies and cake in bed along with the lovely Liz. I then ate a non-Cheat Day meal for real breakfast (eggs, beans, and broccoli) and took a KILLER nap in the wake of an outrageous storm that struck down on Northern, IL. It was really cool to watch but was apparently really brutal on some outlying towns/neighborhoods. Which sucks and my thoughts go out to them!

I then ordered Chinese food for lunch and it was AWESOME, I miss chinese food. The food was from Orange Garden on Irving Park…yes AGAIN. It is a really not bad Chinese for the North Side Chicago.  Liz got off of work and she and I went to the Giamichael's for dinner! It was very nice to get a home cooked meal. Especially when it was pasta and bread! PERFECT for Cheat Day!

Later that night it was my good friend Rob's surprise birthday party and I got pretty rip roarin' drunk off of beer and whiskey, another perfect thing to do on cheat day. It was a fairly low key party held in a store front art space, but it was ton of fun to see all the old friends back again! It was a great low key way to end a low key Cheat Day.

I am not sure what next Cheat Day holds as Thanksgiving (most epic of ALL cheat days) is next Thursday. Also, without cheat day as this blog's niche this really just turns into another lame food blog…so we'll see how this goes!

The Power of Bacon

Liz: Any dish, no matter what it is, will be better with bacon on it. I don't care if you're a vegetarian. I bet you still love the smell of bacon cooking. I don't know what it is about those strips of pig fat cooking in their own lard juices that is so amazingly tantalizing, but I do know that I WANT IT IN MY MOUTH.

The week before last cheat day, Zach and I got this wonderful idea from a buzzfeed of different awesome foods you could make at home with whatever was around (like a homemade butterfinger bar out of peanut butter, baker's chocolate, and candy corn). When I saw the idea to wrap bacon into a cinnabun... I was like WE ARE DOING THAT. 

It is the American way to wrap things in bacon. Hell, I plan to wrap my Christmas presents in bacon. You're welcome.

So we tried this idea with some bacon (that was on sale!) the Jewel Osco brand cinnabun log. While they were a fantastic truffle of gooey fat and sugar, we would recommend using a plumper cinnabun (not the cheap brand) and leaner, thinner pieces of bacon (ours were thickly cut and fat LADEN). You want that crispy bacon and soft bread...o yes...yes you do.

The rest of the day, both of us had to go off doin' our own bizznaz, so we had already pre-planned our own cheaper, grocery cheat day treats: fer Zach--meat and sharp cheddar sandwiches, and fer me--Velveeta shells and cheese...with the extra bacon crumbled into it. O YES.

I went to my boss' apartment to practice for a gig, and he had a whole spread of great stuff, so I of course, indulged in cheat day fashion. However, when I got to my shells and gooey cheese and bacon in the evening, I felt really sick. The non-cheat days will shrink your stomach so your cheat day eyes are bigger than your stomach. I felt like a disgusting ROMAN. However, the sickness subsided, and sleepy time took over. 

Happy Cheat Day everyone! Can't wait for the cheat day coming up that ALL OF YOU WILL PARTICIPATE IN WITH US: Thanksgiving. 

It's Getting Harder to Lose, So Let's Keep WINNING!

Zach: Effin'-A Cheaters! Did you miss us this week? NO?! Well go Ef yourselves! I tell you what, I am stuck. Stuck at 28 lbs lost! I can't seem to get past it. I am weighing in at 211 pretty consistently. This isn't a bad weight for a man of my size, 6'2", especially considering what I was 239 lbs. My original goal was to get down to 200 lbs and then begin working out. Not lifting real hard or nothing, just push ups, pull ups, sit-up, planks, and v ups. But, I'm wondering if I should take what life has thrown at me and just begin the process now, a little earlier than expected…this next Cheat Day will tell.

image from sbrforum.com

The reason this post has taken me so long is because the entirety of this past cheat day was spent on the couch. They finally put the Kansas City Chiefs game on the TV here in the fine city of Chicago. And not a moment too soon neither as they played the Bills of Buffalo, New York. The Buffalo Bills are Liz's favorite team and traditionally they are as AWFUL as the Chiefs. Well they clearly are staunch followers of tradition, because unlike the Chiefs they remain awful. The Chiefs beat the Bills 23-13 in a  come from behind victory. Neither offense did much of anything with the amazingly talented KC defense scoring most of the points for the Chiefs. KC goes into a bye week this week, but their stellar defense will face the terrifying Denver offense when they come back next Sunday. They have moved next Sunday's game to be the nationally televised night game because the chiefs are crushing ass like Derek Jeter, or like me after a Cheat Day. As for the Bills…ask Liz.

image from bu.edu (why? I don't know go investigate

However! From the couch, bright and early again…IN time for the game I ordered 2 Large Pizzas, from Dominos again because it is cheap. 1 had pepperoni and mushrooms, the other had bacon, italian sausage, and green peppers. I also had to get my favorite, bacon and jalapeno stuffed cheesy garlic bread. This order lasted us ALL day! Also, before the game I grabbed a 30-pack of Miller High Life…also lasted us all day. And, even though I drank them beers all throughout the day I did not even get a little drunk. I did, however, get drunk on victory! With the Chiefs winning and this being the last great cheat day for a while, due to the holiday season coming to terrorize this diet, I would say this day of shit food and laziness was utmost victorious!

Image from walmart.com

Liz had to go do a Jazz singing gig at a coffee shop in Pilsen. What was the name of that joint again Liz? She does it the 1st Sunday of every month. So, if you want to spend a nice leisurely day getting coffee and being serenaded by a HOT songstress go do that. I'll probably be heading back down that way some time soon. She came back and gave me tacos since Pilsen has a heavy Mexican population and that usually means great tacos. They were great, even though they were vegan, the salsa was on point though. I ate them, we watched Homeland and fell asleep, feeling disgusting, but totally ready to make this week the strictest dietary week we've had. And it has been…let's keep moving forward!

A little Pig Skin…in more ways than one!

Zach: Hey Cheaters, Zany Zach Finch here to fill you in on the latest in Cheat Day FUN! This cheat day was fairly low key. Last Sunday was the first Sunday I had actually gained wait while participating in the Slow Carb diet. It's to be expected, if there is less wait to lose it must be harder to lose right? RIGHT!

Andy Reid (USAToday)

They didn't put the KC Chiefs on TV yet AGAIN in Chicago. What game did they play instead? Patriots/Dolphins! Who cares! Either way my Chiefs, led by one of the best cheaters out there Andy Reid, remain undefeated! Seriously this guy must think EVERY day is Cheat Day..amirite! Crazy bastard. They took down what seems to be a much lamer Browns team than projected at the start of the season. As long as the Reidster keeps winning I'll keep playfully picking on him, once he loses though I'm gonna get mean! Just keep the cheating off the field! Cheating is only for CHEAT DAY.

Liz and I began this Cheat Day with a call to Dominoes from bed. One of the best things to do!…NOT move and have the carb-y-est food delivered to your doorstep. I ate half a medium pizza topped with pepperoni, italian sausage, and bacon (this is the first way pig skin was had). We also got their addictingly delicious garlic cheesy bread stuffed with jalapenos and bacon (more pig skin). We enjoyed this deliciously unhealthy meal while beginning the series "Homeland." We are only 2 episodes in but so far it is as good as the word of mouth has been dictating…which is REALLY good.

PIG SKIN (junkfoodbetty.com)

Although I have started struggling a bit with the pound sheddage I went ahead and ate the entire half of cheese garlic break AND Medium pizza. Liz, being a wee girl, gave a couple of her slices to Jacob, who crashed on the couch the previous nights. I'd say of all friends and roommates Jacob reaps the most benefits from cheat day. I choose to call them benefits, although they could also be known as left overs, scraps, trash! Either way, he's good to have around.

Once my roommates woke up we went to our family brunch at the Dinner Diner. I had a plate of corned beef hash, eggs, and hash browns. YES my stomach DID hurt it was so full…GOD. I made reference to an old joke my uncle Dan would always tell while junk food binging on vacation. He'd say, "my god, I'm filled up to here (referencing to just below his chin) on cheesesteaks." This is indeed how I felt. Liz was still full from pizza so she only ate half a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon (pig skin).

We then went over to the Giamichael Palace where we were fed caramels and Reese's! GOT to love Halloween time. The candy that is everywhere is JUST perfect for cheat day! We caught a ride back to Liz's with some free stuff the G's were giving to her. It was a beautiful day and Jacob came up with the brilliant idea to go to a park with a frisbee AND…you guessed it, a PIG SKIN! That's right folks! Pig skin ALL DAY LONG! It was so nice to get out doors and run around a bit…even though I was painfully full. Our friend Mike Hamilton met up with us for a bit and we had a grand old time over at Winnemac Park.

Trailer Park Boys (wptsradio.org)

We left and went to another cheat day staple, Dunkin Donuts. I got a pumpkin spice latte and 25 pumpkin donut holes to split with Liz and Jacob. It was all I could eat the rest of the day….THAT'S NOT TRUE! I'm a liar! I ate a little microwaveable Chef-Boy-R-Dee Beffaroni cup while watching Trailer Park Boys. Liz, Jacob and I are going as the Trailer Park Boys for Halloween. It's gonna be the TITS! Anyway, sorry I don't have anything too fancy to review for you this week! GO TRY Baker & Nosh! Seriously, good shit!…Alright everybody Have a spooky and fun Halloween. If you're on the diet and it ain't yo cheat day be strong, you can eat ALL that left over discounted candy on Cheat Day!

NOSHIN' on CARBS/ Cheat day-Cheap Day

There is one thing that is clear on this diet: I MISS CARBS. (Beer is a carb. I miss beer.)

I have been walking by a bakery on Wilson every morning since working for Chicago Apartment Finders, and I have always wanted to walk in. However, since I've been doing this diet since Jan. 1st, 2013, I have not had a chance to try its delicious goods. It is always full of people, and in the course of living here in Chicago, it has expanded 2 storefronts. I really wanted to give it a try. So, after a candy in bed breakfast, Zach and I ventured up Greenview Ave. (full of "holy SHIT!" houses) to Baker and Nosh on Wilson very close to the Wilson Red Line Stop.

http://www.bakerandnosh.com/index.php

Upon entering, a very kind lady described everything behind the glass. A lot had been picked over by the early afternoon, but most of the good stuff had at least one item left. We couldn't decide, so we decided to get pretty much EVERYTHING:

1 raisin sticky bun
1 ham and cheese croissant (they only have croissants on the weekends)
1 artichoke n' cheese focaccia bread square
1 pastrami and cheese sandwich
2 bowls of chorizo gumbo
2 pumpkin spice lattes
1 sourdough roll
1 whole wheat roll

There were epic looking chocolate chip brownies...but we decided to save those for another time.

HOLY MOTHER, it was all delicious. The sandwich...o man...if you are into sandwiches, GO TO THIS PLACE. Not only is the bread fresh and soft, but the meats and cheeses they use are PRIMO. Croissant was buttery and amazeballs, and the sticky bun...ooooof. The pumpkin spice latte was great, but Zach commented on how much he still liked the Dunkin' Donuts latte. I appreciated this one because it tasted like real fresh creme and it was made by a real barista, but still for stuff like that, you can go cheap and still be happy. The gumbo was delicious, but I felt like the baked goods overshadowed it. I'd like to try some more of their soups that are cream based.

After, we were feelin' pretty pregnant, but we still wanted to visit their cheese store to see what they had to offer. We bought a small block of pepper jack cheese, and a salted caramel gelato to share. We were making so many YUM noises walking down the street eating the gelato, people were turning their heads. This place also gives baking lessons if you're wanting to learn. I'd like to take one at some point. Two Thumbs UP. Cheat day MECCA.


We cut up the cheese and put it on thin crackers while watching football, and some of The League, and It's Always Sunny, curled up like little cats on each other and took a long ass nap. Then parted ways as Zach had a rehearsal. Earlier, we procured some of our favorite cheap options for cheat day: Velveeta Mac for this guy, and Chef Boyardee Ravioli for Zach. Cheat day doesn't always have to be about going out. The cheapest food is some of the worst for you. Why not take advantage? Not that this diet necessarily breaks your bank. Meats and veggies can get expensive, but if you're not adding in all the other stuff you'd normally buy, like breads and chips, etc. it cuts your grocery shopping costs down a lot. Plus, beans and eggs are super cheap. However, because you're consolidating all your junk food and going out time into one day, sometimes it equals out. It depends on how hard you wanna cheat.


Well guys, I'm ashamed to say it...but...I'm a non-cheat day cheater this week. My friend Macki--who is one of the best cooks, bakers, sandwich makers EVER, made bacon wrapped dates the other night, and I couldn't resist. Hence why I stayed the same weight this week. I also may be drinking too many diet drinks with fake sugar and may be staving off my hunger with too many nuts. This can sort of compromise the diet. Its a tricky one to master, but once mastered, it can really effect things. Like your friendships with people who make amazing food. They will get mad at you. Also, your friends who want you to drink beer during the week. They will not understand. But Zach, who is a master, stayed strong this week. And I think he will reap the benefits...however we did promise ourselves that we would eat popcorn and drink beer at The Brew and View tonight...and Halloween is on a Thursday...decisions, decisions.

Beautiful Weather for a Beautiful Cheat Day

Zach: Hey Cheaters, what's going on? So I realize that two Cheat Days have passed since I posted about the actual Cheat Day thanks to the Great American Challenge. So, let me try and re-cap the past two Football/CheatDay Sundays as best as I can. I believe I must do this as Cheat Day hath smote me this time around by adding on two pounds at the weigh in. This is the first week where I have truly stuck to the diet, to the best of my ability, and gained weight. So, I will take this time during my lunch break to appease the Cheat Day Gods! That should get me back on track as I am only 13 pounds away from achieving my original goal.

First things first, "America's Team" the Kansas City Chiefs are the best team and only remaining undefeated team in Football at 7-0. I still can't seem to catch a GOD DAMN game because the local markets where I live HATE me and play bullshit secondary games instead! Doesn't matter, because the Chiefs are number 1. Also, no one seems to want to take away their name, unlike the Redskins, which I find incredibly amusing. BUT, none of this has anything to do with what cheat day is about, except the fact that the Chiefs must maintain this record each and every Cheat Day! And they will, OH they will maintain, and if not I will enjoy it while it lasts. All Hail the CHIEFS!

So, not this past Cheat Day, but the one before (10/13) the lovely Liz and I awoke and reverted back to one of the original Cheat Days in which we ate candy in bed, but this time it was HALLOWEEN candy. Halloween, what a stellar way to end a stellar month, amirite?! We then each at a delicious candy apple covered in Halloween colored jimmies, yes JIMMIES! They were delicious. I hadn't eaten a candy apple since I was a boy at the Virginia State Fair. My teeth were too weak then and I couldn't quite get through. But now that I'm a MAN my teeth are strong and true. So true I devoured said candy apple topped with Halloween jimmies in about 3 minutes. We then made for the Dinner Diner. A standard but by god it is such for a reason.

While at the Diner of Dinners I ate a special they have only on weekends, 'the Haystack.' For those of you who aren't familiar with the Dinner Diner a Haystack is a layer of hash browns with two sausage patties on top. On top of THAT is biscuits and gravy. AND ON TOP OF THAT!! is two eggs any GOD DAMN STYLE. I also ate a double bacon cheeseburger, extra bacon…no big deal. CHEAT DAY DON'T CARE ya Cheatin' CHEATERS GAAAAAHHHH!

Only Instead of Pizza Hut Imagine Papa John's

The rest of the day consisted of slow moving and LOUD farting. We got back home and guess what, the Chiefs game wasn't on. What was on do you ask? Not the Chicago Bears game, which would make sense being that I live in Chicago, but NO they played that Thursday. Instead of the Chiefs the on-point CBS Chicago affiliate opted to play Steeler/Jets, what a LOAD of horse shit right? Anyway we chose to watch Wayne's World to digest the dinner diner instead of my least favorite team in football. While watching Wayne's World Liz's roommate Jacob ordered Papa John's…and YES I ate a slice MOTHER! I also drank 3 pints of Guinness while digesting the Dinner Diner AND Pizza.

My roommate Tony's friends Derek and Lindsay were in town for a wedding. Liz and I had also wanted to go down to beautiful Lincoln Park in Chicago for Months and it was a glorious day out, as most Cheat Days are…glorious I mean. So we decided, after wiggling off the couch at Wayne's World's end, to take them on down to Lincoln Park and visit all the animals! It was AWESOME. We saw monkeys and a leopard. A lion and tiger were having a conversation back and forth with ROARS! We looked at seals and all sorts of fun birds too! The first think I saw was a Takin, which I think is something like a Yak. It was great AND free. If you haven't gone to the free Lincoln Park Zoo, DO IT!

That's a big boy

Liz went to her friend's house to watch the Redskins' game with them cause their mom was in town visiting. She'll have to give you the details as to what she ate. I went with Tony, Derek, and Lindsay to Giordano's, cause you gotta get deep dish while in Chi-town. I ate a slice of that but I knew we were going to a bar where Tony's and my roommate Gabriella works to catch the rest of the Skins game, Wild Goose Bar and Grill in North Center near Lincoln Square. I hadn't really eaten anything from there yet and I was going to want to…so I only ate ONE slice of deep dish pizza, which is probably all any normal person needs anyway.

Wild Fries

While at Wild Goose I drank a pitcher of beer and I had a chicken salad sandwich on a pretzel roll with a side of WILD FRIES. Wild fries are french fries topped with nacho cheese, ranch dressing, and season salt. Delicious and the opposite of nutritious, perfect for cheat day. I started passing out at the bar in the middle of the game so I sauntered home narrowly avoiding a mess in my pants and I passed out. Only to wake up with body aches for work the next day!

That's it for me. Stay tuned tomorrow cheaters for Liz's accounts of this past Sunday. We went to some place you're gonna HAVE to try Baker and Nosh! Cheat on!

Great American Challenge! Special Cheat Week 2nd Post!

Zach: Good Afternoon Cheat Day fans! I am writing to you all today in my very public internet diary for one specific and fun reason: This year Liz's roommate Jacob and I had a joint birthday party to the theme of the Great American Challenge (No, not the giant Dildo). Click here to read the Urban Dictionary published rules of the Great American Challenge. The Zach Finch/Jacob Brown Birthday rules consisted of these here:

2 teams of 4 must consume:

1 Cube (30 pack) of PBR
1/8 of an ounce
1 XL Pizza from Dominoes

Once all of the aforementioned has been consumed each team must complete a 100 piece puzzle. First team to complete everything is the winner and champion of all!

Look, it may sound scary but this is DEFINITELY an event to have on a Cheat Day! Certainly if you are going to cheat for a whole week. I talked to all of the competitors the next day and not ONE of us felt dead to the world. A couple of us were still floating a little high in the sky for a whi…le, but still. EVERYONE was able to function that whole night AND the next day. Plus everyone was in CRAZY fun party mode in like 15 minutes.

To recount all of the hilarious details would be impossible for one man. I encourage any of the participants to leave comments on this post to give their take as well. But here's mine anyway:

Team Wolf Pussy

Everybody Have a GOOD CLEAN Match

The 8 contestants Team Wolf Pussy and Team Funky Dong Sniffers (made up name cause I forget what they were really called), 2 very stern/half sober referee's, and lovely hostess assembled at the challenge area at about 8pm. After a very ceremonious introduction, including "national anthems," team photos, shaking of the hands, and other fan fare we were underway shortly before 9pm. And OFF WE WENT!



I must have downed three beers in 5 minutes all while taking small puffs from the eigth. After each beer I yelled out "EMPTY" per the referee's orders, and they came to collect the empty making SURE it was in fact empty. My other team mates were working really hard on the 8th so I decided I should maybe help. I reached back into my cigarette rolling days and rolled us up a couple of joints. So, while continuing to pound beers I enjoyed a whole joint or two to myself. One, particularly mean looking ref popped in a short time later clicking his pen. He asked, "How we doing in here?"

Team Funky Dong Sniffers

To which the room replied, "Look at TONY looking all serious and shit MAN! You're awesome TONY! You're doing SUCH a good job being a referee! FUCKER!" This statement, believe it or not, contained absolutely no sarcasm.

He looked at us, still clicking away at his pen and said, "Boy, you guys are pretty fucked up aren't you?"

"HELL YEAH," we eagerly agreed as a group.

"You know it's only been like 15 minutes right?," said the referee in amazement.

Refs Tony and Marie

After hearing this, Jacob and I thought it a good idea for the two of us to get focused on the beer consumption while we let the two seasoned smokers do what they do best. So out of our designated smoke area we went. What we stumbled upon was one of my favorite parts of the night. The lovely Liz, who was host for the evening, was "just chilling" in the warmly lit open living room of her apartment. She was playing the sweet "chill music" of Andrew Byrd and asked Jacob and I to sit there under the big beautiful window overlooking her comforting, quaint, any-town-USA of a block. The perfect place for a Great American Challenge.

Jacob and I stayed and chatted and joked with the lovely Liz for what felt like 2 seconds but what was actually something like 10 minutes, until, suddenly, out from the smoke room came our team's self appointed righteous captain yelling obscenities at us. "Jacob, Zach! What the hell are you boys doing out here?! You'd better be drinking! We're in the other room doing all the work and you're out here lollygagging with Liz!"

To which we responded, I am sure with the utmost articulation, "Fug you, we're pounding BEERS over here getting our sweat on and making our belly's full!" But, realizing it may be time for a switch we stormed back into the smoke room and continued blasting through everything.

What must have been about half an hour later, but felt like 5 minutes later, the refs came in and informed us we only needed to drink 5 more beers and whatever was left of the mary jane and we could move on to the puzzle. We finished that pizza in the first 10 minutes, so we no longer had to worry about that. We were stoked! We very quickly chugged a beer each and split the last one. We also took turns hitting the bowl which contained the last of the 8th. Done! Except... just before we got to start the puzzle, I pounded the LAST bit of beer (taken from the final drippings of each can) which the refs poured into a pint glass, GROSS, but I am in it to WIN.

Side Note: I'd like to make note how strange the perception of time is when on some inhibitors. At the start of the challenge time crawled, once we got close to the end it seemed to fly. It probably seemed the other way around to the referees and to those who weren't participating. The perception of time on drugs and alcohol is the same as the perception of time throughout one's life span as opposed to a singular day. "Life is like a toilet paper roll..the closer you get to the end the faster it goes" said my old High School Government Teacher.

Anyway, The Puzzle was treacherous. Certainly more than I bargained for. The people in charge of purchasing these 100 piece puzzles cruelly purchased HOLOGRAM puzzles. These REALLY messed with our already messed up minds. It took us probably a good hour just to get used to these puzzle pieces containing three different images based on from what angle you are looking at it. It was long and tough (that's what she said). I could not concentrate (that's what she said). The holograms were confusing(that's…never mind). My team mates began getting nervous as I zoned in and out. People were yelling.

Finally, about 20 minutes later the Funky Dong Sniffers rush to begin their puzzle. I clearly did not have the will to win as I snagged a piece of birthday cake the lovely Liz made for me. The birthday cake was an ice cream cake made from ice cream sandwiches, crushed snickers bars, and icing. Delicious! Especially under the influence. The Funky Dong Sniffers  pulled ahead and ultimately won the whole challenge while Wolf Pussy was a mere 4 puzzle pieces away….rats. Luckily it was my party and I could cry if I wanted.

Team Funky Dong Sniffer's Winning Puzzle

Wolf Pussy's close bu no Cigar Puzzle

Here's a tip, make sure you get matching puzzles ladies and gentleman. The puzzle is KEY.