Beautiful Weather for a Beautiful Cheat Day

Zach: Hey Cheaters, what's going on? So I realize that two Cheat Days have passed since I posted about the actual Cheat Day thanks to the Great American Challenge. So, let me try and re-cap the past two Football/CheatDay Sundays as best as I can. I believe I must do this as Cheat Day hath smote me this time around by adding on two pounds at the weigh in. This is the first week where I have truly stuck to the diet, to the best of my ability, and gained weight. So, I will take this time during my lunch break to appease the Cheat Day Gods! That should get me back on track as I am only 13 pounds away from achieving my original goal.

First things first, "America's Team" the Kansas City Chiefs are the best team and only remaining undefeated team in Football at 7-0. I still can't seem to catch a GOD DAMN game because the local markets where I live HATE me and play bullshit secondary games instead! Doesn't matter, because the Chiefs are number 1. Also, no one seems to want to take away their name, unlike the Redskins, which I find incredibly amusing. BUT, none of this has anything to do with what cheat day is about, except the fact that the Chiefs must maintain this record each and every Cheat Day! And they will, OH they will maintain, and if not I will enjoy it while it lasts. All Hail the CHIEFS!

So, not this past Cheat Day, but the one before (10/13) the lovely Liz and I awoke and reverted back to one of the original Cheat Days in which we ate candy in bed, but this time it was HALLOWEEN candy. Halloween, what a stellar way to end a stellar month, amirite?! We then each at a delicious candy apple covered in Halloween colored jimmies, yes JIMMIES! They were delicious. I hadn't eaten a candy apple since I was a boy at the Virginia State Fair. My teeth were too weak then and I couldn't quite get through. But now that I'm a MAN my teeth are strong and true. So true I devoured said candy apple topped with Halloween jimmies in about 3 minutes. We then made for the Dinner Diner. A standard but by god it is such for a reason.

While at the Diner of Dinners I ate a special they have only on weekends, 'the Haystack.' For those of you who aren't familiar with the Dinner Diner a Haystack is a layer of hash browns with two sausage patties on top. On top of THAT is biscuits and gravy. AND ON TOP OF THAT!! is two eggs any GOD DAMN STYLE. I also ate a double bacon cheeseburger, extra bacon…no big deal. CHEAT DAY DON'T CARE ya Cheatin' CHEATERS GAAAAAHHHH!

Only Instead of Pizza Hut Imagine Papa John's

The rest of the day consisted of slow moving and LOUD farting. We got back home and guess what, the Chiefs game wasn't on. What was on do you ask? Not the Chicago Bears game, which would make sense being that I live in Chicago, but NO they played that Thursday. Instead of the Chiefs the on-point CBS Chicago affiliate opted to play Steeler/Jets, what a LOAD of horse shit right? Anyway we chose to watch Wayne's World to digest the dinner diner instead of my least favorite team in football. While watching Wayne's World Liz's roommate Jacob ordered Papa John's…and YES I ate a slice MOTHER! I also drank 3 pints of Guinness while digesting the Dinner Diner AND Pizza.

My roommate Tony's friends Derek and Lindsay were in town for a wedding. Liz and I had also wanted to go down to beautiful Lincoln Park in Chicago for Months and it was a glorious day out, as most Cheat Days are…glorious I mean. So we decided, after wiggling off the couch at Wayne's World's end, to take them on down to Lincoln Park and visit all the animals! It was AWESOME. We saw monkeys and a leopard. A lion and tiger were having a conversation back and forth with ROARS! We looked at seals and all sorts of fun birds too! The first think I saw was a Takin, which I think is something like a Yak. It was great AND free. If you haven't gone to the free Lincoln Park Zoo, DO IT!

That's a big boy

Liz went to her friend's house to watch the Redskins' game with them cause their mom was in town visiting. She'll have to give you the details as to what she ate. I went with Tony, Derek, and Lindsay to Giordano's, cause you gotta get deep dish while in Chi-town. I ate a slice of that but I knew we were going to a bar where Tony's and my roommate Gabriella works to catch the rest of the Skins game, Wild Goose Bar and Grill in North Center near Lincoln Square. I hadn't really eaten anything from there yet and I was going to want to…so I only ate ONE slice of deep dish pizza, which is probably all any normal person needs anyway.

Wild Fries

While at Wild Goose I drank a pitcher of beer and I had a chicken salad sandwich on a pretzel roll with a side of WILD FRIES. Wild fries are french fries topped with nacho cheese, ranch dressing, and season salt. Delicious and the opposite of nutritious, perfect for cheat day. I started passing out at the bar in the middle of the game so I sauntered home narrowly avoiding a mess in my pants and I passed out. Only to wake up with body aches for work the next day!

That's it for me. Stay tuned tomorrow cheaters for Liz's accounts of this past Sunday. We went to some place you're gonna HAVE to try Baker and Nosh! Cheat on!