New Year New Cheat!

HAPPY NEW YEAR Cheaters! How them resolutions treating ya? You GIVE UP YET!? Not me. I'm still dieting and I'm STILL Cheating. That's right Holidays are done and I'm back to torturing myself for a fit bod and your entertainment! YES I'm fatter after the last two - three weeks, SO WHAT?! It's gonna melt right back off of me like butter in the microwave thanks to my very strict diet.

 

Is it a resolution? NO EFFIN WAY! It's a lifestyle! This Cheat Day I was left up to my own devices and I had a grrrrrEAT time doing it!

I shook myself awake and stomped into the kitchen like a hungry giant. FEE FIE FO FUM! An English Muffin? Well I might have to eat me some! I poured sugar in my coffee. I munched on a gosh darn delicious Aldi cookie wafer thing. I started slicing and eating some cheddar cheese! For the main course: I made an at home McMuffin using this little mini breakfast sandwich maker and for breakfast dessert? I covered an English muffin in Marmalade, just like Paddington. 

 

Sugar coma anyone?! 

 

After shaking myself out of that stupor I ran some Cheat Day errands, which included whipping my body into shape with a hardcore weight lift SESH #bufflikeme.

GIMME THE FOOD DOOD! Flash forward to 3pm. Linner Time. I sit down in front of the TV with one of my all time favorite dishes: A Chicken Queso Burrito with a side of Chips and BOWL of Queso Diablo from Qdoba. Qdoba > Chipotle. That's Cheat Day baby. Queso Burrito built to perfection: Flour tortilla, white rice, black beans, chicken, EXTRA queso, pico, hot sauce, CHEESE and that's it. GOT IT?! It is heavenly. Back in college I'd get two at a time, but now I'm an older, slimmer man. So instead I just ate one...AND AN ENTIRE BAG OF CHIPS AND BOWL OF QUESO!

 

Game time! Not one, but TWO of my favorite sports teams have televised sporting events and they each CRUISE through their games. It's a lot of fun. Toward the end I think to myself....What the hell else will I eat on Cheat Day before it is too late?! I guess I'll run to Wawa or something just to bring it home and wrap it up. 

                                 

While I wait for games to end I treat myself to white fudge covered Oreos and mini peppermint ice cream sandwiches...and...yes...more cheese. THEN! Just when I was fixin' to haul my stuffed and tired ass down to Wawa an angel walks through the door. The SlumLord Millionaire gets home from a pizza date with leftovers. 

Instead of Wawa I house two slices of cheese pizza and a leftover fried chicken breast from Publix. Then, it's time to polish it off with a Snickers. Hungry? Not at all. But I'll still grab a Snickers any friggin' way.

New Year New Me Busters! So, I've implemented a weigh in! New Deets below:

Weight: 242LBS
NIPS: 45.5 inches around (SMALLER than pre-holidays by .75 inches!!!)
BELLY: 43 inches around (THERE IT IS....75 inches LARGER...)
HIPS: 42.75 inches around (LARGER by 1.25 inches...now that's one FAT ASS)

Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. Eat like your life depends on it.

ELE,
FartPinch