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| Dank ass Cheese Muffin (my nickname in college) |
I wake up in a house that smells like the beach. You know that smell: salt, sand, sunscreen, seafood, semen (WHAT?! Noooo FartPinch, that's redundant). It's delightful! Especially when yer HUNGRY. I kick things off by nuking this dank ass cheese muffin from the fresh market down the street. What a way to kick off Cheat Day.
The house I'm in has a waffle maker and some mix, so that is the natural first step. I plow through two waffles, one smothered in syrup from New Hampshire and the other topped with my new favorite spread, MARMALADE! This time it's home made marmalade. HEY, that friggin' rhymes! AND it's delicious. I'll be 100% Paddington in no time.
As the day rolls on I relax with some pets, I read, I chill in the hot tub, which also comes with the house and of course I SNACK. I dig into some dolmas (grape leaves stuffed with rice), BBQ potato chips, and the host's home made pizza.
After HOURS of seemingly no meals on Cheat Day, just delicious snack munching, it's finally LUNCH TIME. My cadre and I head to local Delaware legends, Dogfish Head Brewery. It's a brew pub. However, I am still on Dry January so I don't partake in any one of there many many beers (mostly IPAs 🙄). Instead I enjoy a Pennsylvania Dutch Birch Beer. It's basically a reddish root beer. It's delicious, especially for a non-soda drinker like me. I knock back 7 or 8 of them bad boys like my name is Forrest, Forrest Gump because when you deal in soda, you deal in free refills.
The table downs a large platter of mini pretzel bites to start. They bomb as hell...especially when dipped in that beer cheese dip NAWM SAYIN?! For my full on lunch I decide I'm gettin me something I can't get back in real-ville, U.S.A. so I get a pizza. BUT NOT JUST ANY PIZZA, CHILL! This pizza is called The Old Man and The Sea. It's pizza with panchetta and instead of sauce it's got mother fuckin' crab dip! Thanks Beach Town! The pizza was not nearly as flavorful as I was hoping, but they definitely get points for creativity.
Once I'm back at the beach house I have a post-lunch cheesy muffin from Fresh Market. As day turns to dusk the drinkers begin to drink. So what the hell do I do?! Well, I eat a god damn edible and start noshing on the other treats from the fresh market: Chocolate covered chex mix, more potato chips, cheese, rosemary sour dough toast points, more cheese.
Dinner is a strange combination that ended up working out wonderfully. It was a butternut squash-orzo dish that was earthy and delightful. Any Cheat Day where there's pasta is a good cheat day. But also, we had Polish empanadas, aka: Pierogis! Dem pierogis get the POINT AND PUMP of the week for sure. Stuffed with mashed potatoes, sauerkraut and cheese they get flash boiled and then pan fried followed by a chompity chomping by yours truly. Alla that combined makes for a fantastic time I tell ya Hwhat! Put a little sour cream on those bad boys and you're in Cheat Day heaven friend!
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| Pierogis |
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| A glimpse of the Orzo |
I ended the evening with a bit of iced cream. One was Jeni's - dairy free cold brew and coconut cream which was alright. But then there was something I'd never heard of "Tèo" premium gelato with the PB Caramel Crunch. THAT was extreme and delicious.
Sober as a jay bird but high on life... and ice cream I slowly pass out to the latest episodes of Letterkenny. Just two more sober Cheat Days friends. Not gonna lie, they've been just delightful with out the sweet warming booze juice.
I forgot my tape measure so I just ended up weighing in this week. Sorry bout that, I'll hit you next time!
WEIGHING IN AT: 241 LBS! (DOWN A POUND AND BACK ON TRACK!)
Take care of yourselves! Take care of each other. Eat like your life depends on it.
ELE,
FartPinch
FartPinch
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