Cheat Meal Epic FAIL

Is "epic fail" even still a thing anymore or is that SO 2014?! AMIRITE?!!!! I'll tell you how it IS still a thing, cause I flat out failed in epic proportions this Cheat Day! I was SUPPOSED to eat just one Cheat Meal this Cheat Day, but I couldn't do it....YA KNOW WHY?! Cause of BEER FEST!!!! 

D.C. was doing Beer Fest in the Nationals Park and it was just a Be-YOU-Teeful DAY. Beer Fest was crowded AF and HORRIBLY setup. All of the booths were packed into one corner is what it felt like when you first walk into the joint. Lines were all weaving around one another and they were getting to be about 20-30 minutes long. With just a tiny little taster cup, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO EVEN GET A BUZZ ON?!

Undaunted I explored further. I traversed the stairs to the upper deck patio which promised to have more alcoholic offerings. SUCCESS. Before I know it I'm knocking back beer after beer taking a break only to wait in line for MORE BEER. The beer of the day was actually a cider from the cidery in Watkins Glen, NY called Graft Cidery. It was a Tropical Mimosa Cider called Lost Tropic and it was crisp and refreshing on a bright sunny day in D.C., eerily placed in the beginning of November.

By the time last call came around I was stumblin bumblin drunk and I was VERY easily convinced to go to an outdoor beer garden nearby called The Brig where I had MORE BEER (a pilsner), some pretzel, fries and nachos. So much for Cheat Meal. Welcome to Cheat Day. The Brig is the tits, if you find yourself in WARSHINGTON D.C. and you like German Beer check it out.

Next things next I've got tickets to the GAUL DERN Washington Capitals game. Before getting into the stadium I end up in a bar and order a bunch more beers cause I had DRINK TICKETS! Then, hockey games are SO FREAKIN FUN I had to get two more beers. And beers in stadiums are actually TWO BEERS. You can't just order one beer! It's two beers, so I had four more beers! It was nuts! 

Now, I'm REAL drunk after a day of ALL beer and a few carbs so what am I EASILY convinced of next? The most delicious ramen in the city at Daikaya. AND, what do I EASILY convince my dumb drunk ass to order?! The spiciest GOD DAMN soup on the GOSH DARN MENU, aptly titled Super Spicy Shoyu. 

Super Spicy IT WAS. I couldn't finish it. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom TWICE to cough it out as I tried to not make a GERMAN spectacle of myself in the restaurant making people think I was HIGH on Covid up in there! I failed at that obviously, so I took the rest to go and finished it in the comfort of my home base, coughing my whole way through it. POINTcoughANDcoughPUMP.

There was no "weigh in" this week because I was supposed to skip the Cheat Day, SO SUE ME! LOOK GOOD FEEL GOOD THOUGH. And check out this Halloween Costume:

That's right, I look good, I feel good and that is what matters! Some day soon I will be looking my best and feeling great and you will HATE my social media. That being said, I suggest you follow now: @fartpinchoutmybutt You read that right folks @fartpinchoutmybutt

Take care of yourselves, take care or each other, eat like your life depends on it.

ELE,
Zach